


Falling in Love With Lily

by RedHeadedWoman



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Betrayal, Character Death, F/M, Falling In Love, Love/Hate, Marauder friendship - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-12-16
Updated: 2013-12-16
Packaged: 2018-01-04 18:58:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 30
Words: 67,824
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1084555
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RedHeadedWoman/pseuds/RedHeadedWoman
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is the story of James and Lily's relationship from when James first fell for her to the day they died and beyond. This is the story of a love that knew no bounds, a love that lasts an eternity. Told through snippets of their lives.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. First Love

_James had always loved Lily. There was no doubt about it. And everyone knew it. They just didn't tell James or Lily. Remus and Sirius were two such individuals. They were both completely aware of James' feelings towards the lovely Lily but both had agreed that they should allow James to discover this on his own. And he did. After four long years. Remus and Sirius could remember the day as though it were yesterday…_

James walked through the hallways of Hogwarts, along with his three best mates, acting for all the world that he was better than anyone. And in some respects he was. He, and many others, were better than any Slytherin. James was the best Chaser that Hogwarts had seen for years and that didn't seem about to change. James was at the top of fifth year Transfiguration, a fact that annoyed a certain Lily Evans to no end. On this particular September afternoon, James had just beaten Lily in a test for Charms, which was Lily's best class. And James, _the bastard,_ had beaten her and she was pissed.

"I am the greatest. It's official." James announced. Most people ignored him but the females in the immediate vicinity nodded, or voiced, the various agreements, which made James' smile, and ego, increase tenfold.

"I rather doubt that, Potter." James, surprised that anyone, least of all a female, could disagree with him, looked around himself for the source of the blasphemy. And his eyes settled on the lovely Lily Evans.

"What would you know, Evans? You're just upset because I beat you." James' face took on a smug look, and Remus, Sirius and Peter grimaced.

"You didn't beat me, Potter. You cheated." Lily said this without so much as a smile, vindictive or otherwise.

"I, Evans, do not cheat. No matter what you think. I beat you, so you may as well except it." Lily gave him her most famous and chill inducing stare.

"There is no way that you could ever beat me. Especially when it comes to Charms. So you must have cheated." By this stage everyone within ear shot had stopped in the hopes that they would see one of the famous Potter vs. Evans fights. _And they weren't disappointed._

"You think so?" Lily finally smiled, vindictively, crossed her arms over her chest and nodded. "Alright then. Let's put it to a test."

"A test? What kind of test?"

"Simple. We get a third party to be the judge and we each perform three charms. Whoever does the charms best wins. How's that sound?" Lily was silent for a minute before she suddenly brightened.

"I chose the judge though."

"No one from Gryffindor though." Lily shrugged.

"Fine by me. Justin Holmes." James' face visibly darkened and the buy named Justin Holmes stepped into view. He was in the same year as James and Lily but was a Ravenclaw. And a Chaser. He was very good looking but not pompously so. He was, in essence, the exact opposite of James Potter in every way. The only similarity the two shared was a liking for Lily. However, Lily actually got along with Justin.

"He's biased." James said child-like.

"Potter, everyone is biased. Justin will judge fairly though, won't you Jazz?"

"Absolutey, Lily." Justin smiled and James dislike for the boy increased.

"Two judges then. To make it fair," Lily smiled and indicted that she didn't really care either way. James fixed Lily with another smug expression before saying "Hannah Cobalt." This time it was Lily's face that visibly darkened. Hannah Cobalt stepped forward and smiled warmly at James. Hannah was in Hufflepuff and was one of James' many admirers. The girl was, in Lily's opinion, very shallow and would do anything to get into James pants, though she never actually had. She was an attractive girl but she knew it and so flaunted it every opportunity that she got.

"Fine then. Can we get started please? I have other things to do." Lily took out her hand and held it confidently down by her side. James mirrored her action and posture, something that he had been doing unconsciously for several weeks now. Many had noticed but no one said anything. Plus Lily hadn't noticed yet.

The first charm that they had to perform was relatively simple and yet Lily easily beat James. James' attempt at the charm had somehow gone backwards and the affect was rather disturbing. Instead of making the feather float James had somehow managed to turn the feather into a flower and set it on fire. That in itself was not disturbing but the flower had been a white lily and that was the disturbing bit.

The second charm was technically taught in defence but because it was called the Patronus _Charm_ it was allowed. James went first and pulled it off beautifully, although he was slightly embarrassed when a swan appeared. When this happened James did notice that Lily smiled slightly and guessed, correctly, that the swan was Lily's favourite animal. Lily went second and when the silvery doe appeared James nearly fainted. He spun to look at his friends who didn't actually seem surprised at all. They merely smiled at him in encouragement. That round went to James.

The third charm that they had to do was a very complicated one that Flitwick had only taught them the day before. The most complicated bit of the charm was the wand movements they had to pull off. The correct outcome of the charm was that the person whom the charm was being used on (Sirius) would float five feet off the floor standing upright. Lily achieved this perfectly whereas James let his buddy fall to the floor. And so Lily won.

"Nice, Potter. Let your friend go crashing to the floor. How nice of you." The sarcasm in Lily's voice couldn't be missed by the most stupid person but James found himself merely staring at her. "Well, that was fun. Ta, Potter." With that Lily turned and walked away holding up her left hand in a wave. When James was alone with just Remus, Sirius and Peter he sat down on the floor, leaning against the wall, and stared after Lily.

"Is it possible to love someone who hates you?"


	2. Two Months Later

_James asked Lily out for the first time a week after what became known as "The Charms Challenge" (Sirius was the one who named it). It was a Saturday and had come in the middle of a fight, or really it was the end of the fight. Lily, of course, said 'no'. James made it his mission to get her to say 'yes' to his many proposals but Lily seemed hell bent on braking his heart. After two months James was still trying and failing miserably…_

"I don't understand it." James flopped down onto the lounge in the Gryffindor common room, forcing Sirius to very quickly move his legs out of the way.

"Oi! Watch what you're doing!" James ignored him and rested his head on the back of the lounge, throwing one arm over his face.

"What happened this time, Prongs?" Remus asked him gently. As a friend to both James and Lily, Remus feared that he would be hearing the same story at least twice but from different perspectives.

"I asked her again," Sirius hit his arm. "What the hell was that for?"

Sirius rolled his eyes. "We already figured that bit out. Tell us what happened after that. And don't say she said 'no' because we figured that out as well."

"Alright, alright. She said that she would rather go out with… the giant squid than with me." James' voice grew softer as he said this but the boys still caught what he said. The three of them shared a look and moved closer to James so that no one else would be able to hear their conversation. Sirius placed a sympathetic hand on James shoulder.

"She doesn't really mean that, James. Lily was only exaggerating." Remus said soothingly.

"You don't know that for sure, Moony. Maybe she did mean it."

"At least she didn't say that she'd prefer Snape." Sirius tried to lighten the mood but it didn't really work.

"She's friends with him. She may as well date that slimy git." Not having a sensible reply to this the three boys remained silent. After a minute or two the portrait hole opened and Lily stepped through. She shot a horrible look at the Marauders and went to join her friends. James sighed and announced that he was going to bed.

Lying in his bed James tried to come up with a way of making Lily agree to go out with him. He briefly considered the option of enlisting the help of Sirius but quickly dismissed the idea. James continued trying to come up with an idea until he heard the dormitory door open. Whoever it was went over to James' bed and pulled open the curtains.

"Thought you'd still be awake."

"Padfoot?" Sirius smiled down at his best mate. "What the hell…?"

"I knew you'd still be up and Remus said that one of us should come up and make sure you hadn't done anything stupid, and so here I am!" Sirius spread his arms wide and grinned. James couldn't help but smile and sat up slowly.

"How'd you know?"

"Cause you're my best mate." Sirius sat down on James' bed and looked at James closely. The most obvious thing about James at that moment was that his eyes were red and puffy. Sirius frowned. He'd never seen James cry, he'd never even thought it possible. This fact, more than anything else, proved to Sirius just how much James wanted to be with Lily.

Downstairs, Lily sat with her friends silently contemplating the infuriating enigma that was James David Potter. Annoyingly Lily had been contemplating James quiet a lot recently and not much of the contemplations had been focused solely on his bad aspects. Lily had noticed that there were several features of James that she rather liked. The way he ran his hand through his hair Lily no longer found to be big headed of him. She liked it when he did it. _Run your hands through your hair,  
Absent mindedly makin' me want you. _Lily shook her head to clear away the horrible (if true) lyrics and tried to focus on the essay she was meant to be writing.

"Lily? You okay?" Lily looked up at Alice, her best friend, and smiled reassuringly.

"I'm fine, Al. Honestly. Just a bit tired that's all." Alice cocked an eyebrow but turned back to her work leaving Lily to return to her contemplations. Lily looked over at Remus and made a split second decision to go and talk to him about Potter. Remus saw her going over to him and smiled warmly at her.

"I'm going to assume that you know what happened?" Remus nodded. "I thought you would. Remus, he seems… different."

Remus frowned. "Different? What do you mean different?"

"I'm not sure. He just seems to be different to me. I don't know why. Remy, can I ask you something?"

"Of course, Lily."

"Why does he want to go out with me?"

"Because he likes you, Lily. I would've thought that was obvious."

"But why me? Out of all the girls willing to go out with him why does he keep asking me?"

"Lily, he keeps asking you because he genuinely wants to go out with you. This isn't a joke or a game. James likes you, it's that simple. James keeps asking you because he thinks… well, I don't know what he thinks. Sometimes I'd rather not know. All I know is that he wants to be with you. I've never seen him like this. None of us have. James usually moves on pretty quickly but it's been two months since he first asked you. Actually, I think it could have something to do with the fact that you're the first girl whose ever turned him down and he doesn't understand why."

"Ok-ay then. Am I really the first to say 'no'?"

"Yes, strange as that may seem to you. No girl has ever refused him. And he's confused."

"So that's the allure. I say 'no' he keeps trying?"

"No, Lily. You outright refusal to him confuses him. He keeps asking because he genuinely wants you to say yes."

"Right, thanks, Remy." Lily rejoined her friends and her contemplations.

_James David Potter likes me… yet I hate him… how is that possible?_


	3. No More Snape

_James had always been jealous of the close bond that Remus had with Lily. But he was even more jealous of the relationship that Lily shared with Severus Snape. That was the real reason that James picked on Severus. James simply couldn't understand why Lily would be friends with such utter scum. The notion of it seemed wrong to James and so he retaliated in the only way he knew. When James heard Severus call Lily a 'mudblood' he was secretly and disturbingly overjoyed. The look on Lily's face had said it all: the friendship between her and Snape was over._

"She hates him! Can you believe it? Lily hates Snape!" James was dancing around the fifth years boy's dormitories, arms raised and singing 'Lily hates Snape' in rather annoying sing-song voice. Peter had long ago given up and put a muffling charm on his bed's curtains and gone to sleep. Sirius was lying in his bed holding a pillow over his head in an attempt to block James out. And Remus was sitting very calmly in his bed watching James and smiling.

"Doesn't mean that she likes you now though." Remus said happily. James came to an abrupt standstill and turned on Remus.

"Why do you gotta ruin it for me, Moony?"

"Because it's more fun than hearing you sing."

"You're not wrong." Sirius chipped in. James surveyed the two of them and promptly left them.

"Where do you think he's off to?"

"Not a clue."

James, dressed in nothing but boxer shorts and a white muscle shirt, went downstairs to the common room. The fire was almost out and it cast an orange glow on the room. James thought that room was deserted when he heard a faint sniffle. Intrigued, James moved closer to the lounge to find Lily sitting on the floor with her knees pulled up to her chest and her forehead resting on her bare knees. Lily was only wearing a night dress and James had to concentrate very hard to focus on Lily's head rather than her legs. James sat down on the floor beside Lily.

"Lily? You okay?"

Lily looked up at him and very quickly wiped away her tears. "Course I am. Just had something in my eye. That's all. No big deal or anything."

"Do you really expect me to believe that?" James cocked an eyebrow at her.

"Could you? Please, just pretend that's the honest to God truth and leave me be?"

"I hate to say it, Lil, but no. I can't do that." Lily sighed and turned her head away from him. James tried to think of what Remus would do in the same situation and then realised that he should do what came naturally and so he very gently placed a hand on Lily's arm.

"I'm sorry, Lily."

"Sorry? You're sorry?" Lily brushed James arm off hers and stood up. James stood as well just so that he wouldn't be looking up at her. "What are you sorry for, Potter, I wonder? Are you sorry that you're a prick? Are you sorry for… for… living? What are you sorry for?"

"I'm sorry about what happened today." James was silent as Lily froze and her lips formed a tight line. "I'm sorry that someone you considered a friend would call you that, or call you a nasty name at all. I'm sorry that…"

"You were right." Lily said it so softly that James almost missed it entirely.

"What?"

"You were right," Lily spoke louder this time. "About Severus. Everyone was right. You told me that I would regret being friends with him and you were right. I do regret it. He's a… a… slimy git. A bastard and I… I pretended he wasn't. I knew the whole time that he was pals with aspiring Death Eaters but I pretended that he was different. That he hung out with them so that they would leave him alone. But the whole time I was wrong, and stupid, and naive. I didn't see what everyone kept telling me. I refused to acknowledge that you least of all was right."

"Lily, I…"

"Shut up, Potter. Please. Just leave me alone." Lily turned her back on him and James had no choice but to walk away.

James re-entered the dormitory and sat down heavily on his bed. Sirius, who had fallen asleep, sat bolt upright and looked at James blearily.

"You back then are ya?"

"She hates me."

"Who hates you?"

"Lily, you twit." James threw his pillow at Sirius, which, of course, woke him up properly.

"Oh, right," Sirius threw James' pillow back at him. "How do you know that for sure?"

"Cause she's downstairs."

"And?"

"And she's mad at me because I was right about Snape being a slimy git." James sighed and lay down on his bed.

"Well, at least she now agrees with you on something. That's a start."

"No, it isn't. She still hates me, Padfoot. That's not likely to change any time soon either. Course I'm glad that she knows Snape's a git but I wish that she hadn't found out like she did."

"Would you have preferred she found out when he killed someone she knew?"

"No, don't be stupid. I would have preferred her to just see the mark on his arm, if it's there yet. I didn't want her to find out cause he called her a… you know."

"I know, mate. But there's not much you can do about it now."

"It's going to get worse for her. Whenever she hears about the death of someone she cares for she'll wonder if the git knew, if the git did it, or if he was there and could've prevented it. It's going to kill her. Not knowing if Snape had something to do with it." James fell silent and stared up at the ceiling. "I'm never going to let her feel like this again. I won't let anyone hurt her, Padfoot. I can't."

Sirius watched his friend with a troubled expression. He was wondering just how far James would go to protect Lily.


	4. Choosing Side

_As time passed, the threat of Lord Voldemort and his Death Eaters grew and inside the walls of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry relations between Houses was at an all time low. The students of Gryffindor and Slytherin were constantly clashing, while the students of Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff began to choose their side. Those students who had family that were fighting were on edge, waiting for their Head of House to take them to Dumbledore's office. The students who had Muggle family members were scared more than anyone else. For James, whose father was an Auror, it was particularly frightening because of the incredible threat posed to Sirius (as a blood traitor) and Remus (as a werewolf). For Lily, a Muggle born, these times were harrowing though she hid her fears remarkably well. The doomed pair had long ago chosen their side and nothing would change their mind…_

James walked through the halls of Hogwarts with his head held high and an easy swagger in his step, but on the inside James was cringing at every sound he heard and fearing that McGonagall would find him with bad news. Only his friends knew the truth and he wasn't about to let the Slytherins know that he was scared out of his mind because they would only use it to their advantage. James smiled easily at a group of third year Hufflepuffs, sending them off giggling, and walked into the boy's bathroom. James glanced around at Regulus Black, who was at the wash basin, and continued walking towards an open cubicle. Before he got the chance to enter he found his way blocked by Rodolphus Lestrange.

"Hello, Potter."

"Hello, Lestrange. I wasn't aware you fancied guys?"

"Funny," Rodolphus glanced past James and James had the uneasy feeling that he'd just been surrounded by Slytherins, including his best mate's brother. "Tell me, Potter, how's your dad? Still an Auror, is he?"

"You know bloody well he is." James was beginning to worry. Not about himself, but about his dad.

"Hmm. You going to follow in his footsteps?"

"What's it to you?"

"Just wondering, weren't we boys?" There were murmurs of agreement behind James, and without meaning to he glanced behind him. The only one who wasn't sneering was Regulus. "See, we've come up with a plan. We reckon that if we… get to anyone who wants to be an Auror before they became one… well, then there'll be less of you when we graduate. Good plan, innit?"

"Ingenious. There's only one problem."

"Oh? And what might that be?"

"You don't have the balls to kill me. You don't scare me, Lestrange." The truth was the James was petrified. He knew that Rodolphus was good at Charms and, strangely, Defence Against the Dark Arts. James truly believed that he was in trouble.

"No? We'll see about that." Before James had registered what Rodolphus had said he was thrown across the room by a powerful curse. As James was slammed into the tiled wall he blacked out for a few seconds.

When James came to the first thing he noticed was Regulus quietly leaving the bathroom. The second thing he noticed was that Rodolphus and his cronies were lifting James to his feet. When he was being held up properly Rodolphus pulled back his fist and then the fist was coming straight for him, and then it landed squarely on his nose. James heard a distinct _crack_ which meant that his glasses were broken. And then pain reared its ugly head and James saw stars swimming in the air in front of him. Rodolphus' fist kept coming and very quickly James had a broken nose, fractured jaw, spilt lip and a black eye on top of the broken glasses which were lying on the floor by this stage. James' vision became blurred but he could still hear. Before Rodolphus could land what would have been the kill punch a clear voice rang through the air.

" _Immobulus._ " Rodolphus' fist freezes inches from James' face and as he slowly slips into unconsciousness he sees a face with bright green eyes framed by brilliant red hair. A word escapes his bloodied and swollen lips…

"Lily…"

Lily stood over James as he lost consciousness and blushed slightly when he whispered her name. As soon as she was sure that he was out entirely she put two fingers gently against his bare neck, praying that she would find a pulse. After a few desperate seconds there was the unmistakable beat of flowing blood. Lily sighed and quickly turned to the others who were making sure that the Slytherins were immobile and trying not to look at James.

"He's alive."

"Thank Merlin!" Sirius spun around and came over to them. Remus sent a silent thank you upwards and joined them. "Jesus, he looks like crap."

"I'm sure he'll be fine. We have to get him to the Hospital Wing." Lily took control again and led the way up to the Hospital Wing while Sirius and Remus carried James between them. Lily held the doors of the Hospital Wing open for them and called out for Madam Pomfrey. She got the boys to lay James down on a bed and then ushered the three of them out into the hallway, where they were met by Professors Dumbledore and McGonagall along with a sheepish Regulus.

As the four students told the two professors what they knew, they held their breaths for news from Madam Pomfrey. And when she did open the door she was bombarded with a bunch of questions from the four of them. Sirius voice was, obviously, the loudest, while Remus came in a close second. Dumbledore silenced them all with hand.

"Madam Pomfrey? How is the patient?"

"Just fine. He's still unconscious for the moment but I've done that deliberately so the he won't be in as much pain."

"Pain? I thought you said he was fine?" Sirius butted in.

"He is, Sirius. I've healed James but I can't eliminate his pain. His body has to do that by itself." Madam Pomfrey moved aside. "You may go in and see him now if you like." All four of them walked in and went over to the bed where James' lifeless body was lying. Sirius and Remus sat down on either side of him, whereas Lily and Regulus remained standing at the end of his bed. Regulus was asked away by Dumbledore to answer some more questions, and Lily, not liking seeing James so lifeless, ran out of the Hospital Wing and down to the Lake.

Lily sat at the Lake's edge for hours undisturbed. Lily watched the comings and goings of students, staff and animals and wondered how the world could continue to spin when so many people were hurting… dying… bleeding… crying… fighting… surviving. How could the world still spin when James was lifeless? Lily was surprised that she found herself praying for James to recover, to wake, to live again. But then again, she couldn't imagine her life without him. For good or bad, Lily knew somehow that James would always be there with her. And she liked that thought.

Until that moment Lily had believed that she wouldn't fight because she didn't want to place those she cared for in danger. But she realised that no matter what she did they would be in danger and that to keep them safe she would need to fight. She would need to ensure that Voldemort and his Death Eaters were beaten.

And all it had taken for her to decide this was the near death of the boy that she believed she hated.


	5. Deaths

_The world had begun to fall to pieces and no one was safe. Once a week students all throughout the Great Hall would check what became known as "The List of the Dead". The list had the names of everyone who had died as a result of Death Eaters and Voldemort since the last list was published. A creepy silence always descended upon the Hall when the owls started to fly in and it didn't lift, usually, for the rest of breakfast. Of course if you had lost someone you would get a visit from Professor McGonagall who would escort you to Dumbledore's office. You didn't want to see the strict professor walking up to you with a grim face. James would never forget the day that McGonagall walked up to him with that face…_

Sirius saw McGonagall walking up to them first. He went to yell out to her but the words froze on his lips when he saw her face. Sirius prayed that it was no one that they actually cared about, but he knew better. Remus noticed the look on his face and alerted James and Peter to McGonagall. When she reached them she shot Sirius, Remus and Peter a small look before turning to James.

"James, please come with me." James remained rooted to the spot, not wanting to hear whatever it was. He didn't need to. He could live in ignorant bliss for the rest of his days. James felt a hand touch his shoulder and instinctively knew that it was Sirius. James turned his eyes on his best mate who gave him a small smile that said "We'll be waiting." James nodded and dumbly followed McGonagall. He could feel everyone staring at him as he followed along in the professor's wake. It was all he could do to keep his head held high and his eyes dry. His easy swagger was gone for the moment and he could see that even Snape had a sympathetic look on his face. James almost lost it then. It was only the soft green eyes staring at him that forced him to pull himself together. James looked directly into Lily's eyes. She flashed him a small smile and James' heart soared slightly. But only enough to keep him walking forwards.

When they reached Professor Dumbledore's office McGonagall ushered James onto the revolving staircase and stood a step down from him. The whole way up James held his breath, hoping (just as Sirius was at that moment) that whoever was dead hadn't died at the hands of a Black. It would put a considerable strain on their friendship. James was relieved to note that there were no Ministry officials awaiting him in Dumbledore's office. It was a well known fact that if a parent or sibling had died someone from the Ministry would give the news. James took a seat opposite Dumbledore, and only glanced up at the Headmaster once he was comfortable. Dumbledore's face was kind but clearly sympathetic and worried.

"How are you feeling, James?"

"I've been better, thanks." James knew that he should ask how Dumbledore was but the words wouldn't form themselves, so he simply sat there looking down at his hands.

"I'm sure you've realised why you're here so I'll skip all the nonsense and get straight to the point. There was an attack on a small Muggle village in Wales last night." James looked up at the professor frowning. He didn't know anyone in Wales. Dumbledore held up a hand and continued. "The Death Eaters destroyed the town, killing everyone that was there. The Aurors didn't arrive until they had gone, not on purpose of course. But word didn't get to them until after the actual attack. The Death Eaters were callous and cruel to the people, even those staying in the inn for the night. James, you're here because you're aunt Imogene, your uncle Bill, and your cousins Julie and Matthew were there. I'm sorry, James."

James sat in his seat trying to process what had just been said. It didn't make sense. His aunt and uncle lived in the south of England and had never had any desire to travel to Wales. And as for Julie and Matthew… they were four year old twins. It didn't, couldn't, wouldn't, make sense to him. The room became stuffy and James was finding it difficult to breathe. Professor Dumbledore was talking to him but he couldn't make out the words. He had to get out… he needed air… he needed to be in the open… he needed to run… he needed to hide from the world… he needed… he needed to be Prongs…

Without a word, James leapt up from his chair and bolted from the office. He ran down three flights of stairs before he came across anyone but he didn't stop. He just barrelled through them and ignored their angry words. James knocked into people, and sent a first year flying but still he didn't stop because he _couldn't_ stop. It was an impulse. He needed fresh air, he needed to run. James flew past a bunch of Slytherins who yelled taunts after him but he didn't even acknowledge their existence. James took the stairs on the marble staircase three at a time. He stopped only to push open the heavy wooden doors and he was off running again. He could see the Marauders sitting amongst the roots of a tree near the edge of the lake. The three of them looked over when they heard angry yells and stood when they saw him. On the other side of the lake he could see Lily watching him concerned but it didn't click. James reached the edge of the Forbidden Forest and, to the amazement and shock of everyone, kept running.

As he ran through the thick trees James transformed into Prongs and picked up pace. The forest air refreshed him and he could feel the wind blowing past him. It invigorated him and he ran faster and faster and faster until he couldn't have stopped suddenly even if he had wanted to. After a time, James realised that the forest was echoing with the barking of a dog and soon after that he was joined by Padfoot. Padfoot didn't try to stop him, he merely kept pace. It made for a sight: a stag and a dog running side by side… pace for pace… stride for stride… turn for turn… leap for leap… bound for bound… breath for breath…

As James' breathing becoming heavier he began to slow down and eventually came to a stop in a clearing. He collapsed onto the ground and didn't bother turning back into his human form. Padfoot sat dutifully by his side, waiting for the others to turn up. When they did he stood up and went over to them, transforming on the way.

"He won't turn back." Sirius said glancing over at his friend and keeping his voice low. "He only started to slow when he could hardly breathe anymore."

"Relax, Sirius. He's only blowing off steam." Remus walked over to the lifeless stag and knelt down in front of him. Remus held his hand in front of the stag's nose and let Prongs breath in his scent. When Prongs recognised the smell he opened his eyes and looked up at Remus. "It's okay, buddy. You need to turn back." The stag snorted and stood slowly. When he was on all fours, Prongs slowly but gradually turned into James. As soon as he was himself James promptly fall back down to earth with a hard thud. James sat there staring at the ground. If he said anything it would only make things real and he didn't want to do that. So he stayed quiet. The boys allowed him to remain like that for a long time, simply sitting on the ground with him. As the sun began to set James raised his head slightly.

"Imogene, Bill, Julie and Matthew." The boys didn't need to ask what he was talking about. They had been there when James had gotten a letter from his mother telling him about his new (and only) cousins. "They were in Wales, for Merlin's sake. Aunt Imogene hated travelling what they were doing there is beyond me. The entire town was destroyed." James ran a hand through his hair and then grabbed at clumps of his hair with both hands and pulled. Sirius shot Remus a worried a look but Remus only shook his head. "Julie and Matthew… they were four… I just don't…" James stood abruptly, let out a frustrated yell and slammed his fist against the trunk of a tree.

"You need to calm down, James." Remus said standing.

James turned on him. "Calm down!? Don't tell me to calm down. They killed them. Murdered them because they felt like it. They were four for fuck's sake. They hadn't had the chance to live and now they never will. And you're telling me to calm down? Breathe right? Take a deep breath and everything will be okay? Well, it doesn't work, Moony. That shit doesn't work for those of us who aren't a half-blood." James stopped speaking suddenly, staring at Remus as he realised what he'd said. Remus, to his credit, didn't look offended. "Bugger. Moony, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that. I just meant that that doesn't work for me, that's all."

"It's okay, Prongs. I know."

"No, it's not okay. Nothing is okay." James leant his head against the tree he had hit and closed his eyes. "I just don't understand why they do it. Why they kill people who aren't like them. What the hell kind of threat do four year olds pose? It doesn't make sense."

"James, these aren't people. They're monsters," Sirius took a small step towards James. "They don't think. They just follow the orders of a deranged lunatic."

"But why? Why do they believe the crap he peddles?" James looked directly at his friend, begging him for answers.

"I don't know. I think many of them had those… beliefs years before this dude came onto the scene. Others are just scared and so they join him for protection. Others do it because they're pathetic and want someone to follow. Some follow his orders to the letter for their own gratification. And some do it because they're cruel and nothing else."

James appeared to ponder this for a minute. "So Bellatrix is cruel, Snape is pathetic, Malfoy's an arse. What about Regulus? Scared?"

Sirius stared at James and considered hitting him until he realised that he was simply trying to understand things. "Yes but he's not scared of Voldemort. He's scared of not upholding the family honour or something like that."

"I see. None of those are very good reasons."

"Never said they were."

James was silent as he tried to process the information. "So, you're telling me that they join him and kill people for no good reason? For fun?" James cocked an eyebrow and waited for Sirius to answer. When he didn't James snorted. "So you actually don't know either. Typical, I turn to you for help but you're no better. I'm trying to understand why my _four year old_ cousins were killed and all you can give me is speculation? Thanks for your awesome help. Goodbye." With his piece said, James pulled his Invisibility Cloak out of his pocket, draped it over himself and walked away.

…

Hours later, James returned to the castle and went straight to the Gryffindor common room. As expected, when he walked into the room everyone turned to look at him and then quickly looked away again. James was covered in dirt and what people hoped was his blood. He had a slightly crazy look in his eyes that was creepily offset by the tired look of his body. James looked around and saw the Marauders sitting at a table. It appeared that they were the only ones who hadn't looked away. James ignored their worried looks and continued scanning the room for a spare table. It was then that he noticed that Lily hadn't looked away from him either. James stared straight back at her, but he was the one that ended up backing down from their little staring competition. James quickly found an empty table in a corner, shrouded in almost complete darkness. He could feel everyone's eyes on him as he made his way over to the table and slowly lowered himself into one of the two seats. James closed his eyes, leant his head against the wall and quickly succumbed to sleep.

Almost two hours later, James woke to find that apparently everyone had gone to bed and left him there. In a way, James was glad they had. He didn't think that he would be able to explain the way he looked and where he had been. Plus, he was pretty sure that there was an excellent chance of him yelling at some more people. James stretched slowly and winced as pain shot through his body. James ignored it and stretched again, hissing this time when pain clouded his vision. When he opened his eyes again there was Lily. James jolted up and promptly fell off his chair. He heard Lily laugh lightly and he quickly leapt to his feet.

"I didn't know anyone was still here."

"That's because I only just came down here." Lily smiled and then James saw that she was wearing what were obviously her pyjamas: short shorts and a silk camisole. James quickly looked at her face and was surprised to find that she was blushing slightly. The blush, however, disappeared the instant she caught James watching her.

"Sit down, James. Let me help you clean up." Lily walked towards him and James obediently fell into his chair. Lily moved the other chair so that she was sitting closer to him. James swallowed when he felt her knee brushing against his.

"I don't need any help. I'm fine." James managed to croak out.

"Don't be ridiculous," Lily looked James' into eyes. "Is this your blood?"

James looked down at his hands and clothes. "Some of it." He looked guiltily at Lily's face and saw her grimace. "You don't understand. You don't know what happened."

"Remus told me everything. I'm so sorry, James." Lily frowned in sympathy and James had to look away otherwise he would start to cry. "I remember you talking about them, Julie and Matthew, I mean. On the day you got the letter from your mother. You were saying that they would be the most perfect kids in the world and that you'd never let anything or anyone get to them. You said that they were miracles and you would protect them if it killed you." Lily watched James closely as he slowly turned his head towards her.

"I couldn't do it though. I couldn't protect them. They were murdered and I wasn't there to help them. And now they're gone and I can't… I can't…"

"Say you're sorry."

"Yes, I can't tell them how sorry I am. I can't tell them anything because they took them away. They killed them for fun… for something to do. They hurt them and now they won't ever come to Hogwarts or get married or do anything worthwhile because _he_ took them." For the first time since getting the news James broke down in tears. They cascaded down his face and no matter how hard he tried they wouldn't stop flowing. Lily reached out to him and gently held his hands between hers.

"James, they know that you loved them. They know that had you been there you would have done everything possible to save them. You should take comfort in the fact that because they were so young they didn't truly know what was happening to them." Lily reached out with one hand and placed it gently against his tear-stained face. "They loved you, James, and you should be glad that they never had the chance to feel heartbreak, or misery, or anything else bad. They only knew goodness and happiness. And I'm sure that you gave them some of their best memories."

James nodded and closed his eyes. "You're right, Lily. I know that but I still can't help thinking about all that they're going to miss." Fresh tears began to stream down his face and Lily manoeuvred herself even closer to him so that she could put her arms around him. James sobbed against her neck but began to calm down when Lily started to rub small circles on his back. Once he was calm Lily let him go but kept hold of his hands.

"James, what did you do?"

James stared at her for a second before what she was talking about clicked. "I left Hogwarts. There's a tunnel that takes you to the Shrieking Shack. I went to Wales, to where they were killed. There were Death Eaters there," James stopped speaking and waited for Lily to interject. When she didn't he took a deep breath and continued. "I didn't use magic. It seemed wrong to use magic where so many had been killed by it. I just attacked them. I beat them, Lily. I physically beat them. I didn't kill anyone but I came close to killing the last guy. But I stopped myself because that's not who I am. I'm not a killer and I don't like hurting people. Even if they deserve it. I came back after that."

Lily remained silent, holding onto James' hands. Although she couldn't condone what he had done she wasn't going to tell him off for it. "I'm glad that you didn't kill them, even if they deserved it. Besides the fact that that behaviour isn't you I don't think that your aunt and uncle would have liked it very much. Now," Lily let go of his hands and moved back in front of him. "Let's clean you up."

Lily took out her wand and cleaned the dirt, grim and blood off James' hands and arms. When that was done Lily turned her attention to James' face which was a mistake. The entire time that Lily had been focusing on his arms and hands, James had been intently watching her and hadn't looked away when she looked up at him. Lily's lips parted slightly in surprise at the intensity on his face. James smiled slightly to get rid of her obvious unease. Lily smiled back but she couldn't help the blush. She cleared her throat and began to clean and heal his face while determinedly not looking into his eyes. When she finished Lily sat back and sighed.

"All done."

James flashed her a smile. "Thanks, Lil. I appreciate it. I should probably go to bed, shouldn't I?"

"Yes, we both should." Lily stood up very quickly and fell backwards. James leaped up and caught her around the waist with both hands, drawing her body tightly against his. Lily's breath caught and James felt her chest rise against his.

"You need to be more careful, Lil."

"Uh-huh." Lily could barely speak. She was too focused on the fact that she was caught in a tight embrace with James Potter and she didn't mind one bit. James, she saw, was enjoying the moment and it didn't seem as though he was going to let go of her anytime soon.

"Um, James, I think you can let go of me now." Lily said softly. She didn't really want him to let her go but she didn't think she would be able to control herself much longer.

"If you like." James let go of her carefully, making sure to slowly move his hands against the bare skin of her back that had been revealed when he caught her. Lily's skin tingled under his touch and she couldn't help but shiver. James grinned when he noted the reaction that he could elicit from her. Lily closed her eyes and only re-opened them when she had regained her composure.

"I want you to know that if you ever find that you can't talk to your Marauders, you always have me. To talk to I mean!" Lily quickly added when he grinned.

"Of course. I'll keep that mind. And same goes for you, by the way. If you can't talk to your friends about whatever, you will always have me." James smiled. "And thank you for your help, Lil, and for not telling me off for what I did today. It means a lot."

"Any time. Night."

"Night." James watched Lily smile, turn around and almost run for the stairs. When she got there she turned to look back at him.

"By the way, you stink."


	6. Funeral

_The deaths of his family members hurt James more than he ever realised it could or would. Everyone he saw was the potential killer in his mind, even Gryffindors suffered his scrutiny and suspicion. Until Remus snapped him out of it by reminding him that all the people he suspected had been at Hogwarts. After that James couldn't help but wonder if someone Sirius was related too was to blame. Sirius worried about the same thing. Sirius, Remus and Peter accompanied James to the funeral, which was held in the first week of the summer holidays. When they arrived at the actual church James was delighted to see that standing beside Dumbledore and McGonagall was the lovely Miss Lily Evans..._

"Hi, James." Lily smiled brightly at him and James could feel himself melting. Lily had dressed in a conservative yet beautiful black dress and was wearing a red sash around her waist, no doubt for Gryffindor. Her long red hair was loose and slightly messy but artfully so. James had never seen Lily wear her hair down before and it took his breath away. Remus nudged him slightly to bring him back.

"Hi, Lily. What are you doing here?"

"I thought I should come."

"But you didn't know them."

"What's your point?" Lily asked teasingly. "Hi, guys."

"Hey, Lily." Sirius, Remus and Peter said.

"James, where are your parents? I would like to speak with them." Professor Dumbledore asked.

James looked around but suddenly found it very hard to look at all the people who had come to farewell his family. He closed his eyes and vaguely heard Sirius answer Dumbledore's question for him. James had never been so happy to have Sirius as a mate. When he opened his eyes both professors had gone and the others weren't looking at him in order to give him some semblance of privacy. James once again looked at the mourners and a sudden anger over came him. Many of the people there had never known Imogene, or Bill, or Julie, or Matthew and yet there they were. And he hated them. Somehow he hated every single one of them for encroaching on a strictly family event. James didn't hate the Marauders for being there because they were his family, his brothers. And he wanted Lily to be his family, so he didn't hate her either (he didn't think that was possible). James did, however, hate Dumbledore and McGonagall for being there even though he knew that they were there to support them. It was the same reason that many of the other people were there. Though James couldn't fathom why the Minister for Magic was there. When James saw the balding Minister standing with his Auror bodyguards and laughing an unexplainable rage over came him and he stalked off towards the group. Remus noticed where he was going but didn't say anything or chase after him. He did however keep his eyes on them, just in case.

"Minister Grady." James spoke loudly so that everyone close by would hear. The minister turned around and James was pleased to see the smile fall from his fat face.

"James, I'm so sorry for your loss. I understand that you were very close to your aunt and uncle." James smiled in menacing way. His smile became slightly more maniacal when he saw fear in the minister's gray eyes.

"Yes, I was. Very close to them, and to Julie and Matt, as well. Like a big brother to the both of them."

"Of course. And it is such a tragedy when two people are taken from us when they are so very young. I think I speak for everyone when I say that I hope those responsible are caught and brought to justice one day. And I will, of course, help achieve that in any way I can."

"I'm sure that you'll do your very best and I thank you for that. It's very kind of you." James smiled again and this time everyone was scared of where James was going. So much so that Sirius, ever the faithful brother, went over.

"Excuse me, Minister. You'll have to forgive James. He's very distraught about all this."

"Of course, Mr. Black. It's understandable under the circumstances."

Sirius smiled politely at the Minister before turning to James. "Come on, mate. Let's go."

"No, I'm not finished." James pulled his arm out of Sirius' grasp and turned back to the Minister. "Tell me, Geoff, what was it like?"

"What was what like?"

"Killing them. Did you have fun killing Julie and Matthew?" James raised his eyebrows at the Minister, whose face had turned an ashen gray colour. Complete silence had descended as everyone watched the exchange.

"James, what are you talking about?" Sirius whispered to his friend.

"He did it, Padfoot. He killed them, I know it." James' eyes pleaded with Sirius to believe him, to trust him, and Sirius nodded slowly. "Thank you," James said quietly to him. Sirius took a step back, put a hand in his pocket and grasped his wand. James turned back to the Minister. "See I went there. To where they were killed. I had to see for myself. There were Death Eaters there and they told me. They said that you were there, that you made sure that the Aurors didn't arrive until it was too late. They told me that you killed Julie and Matthew and that you made their parents watch while you did it. They told me that you, Minister, are a Death Eater." A shocked gasp ran through the crowd at James' words. The fear in the Minister's eyes increased for a second and was replaced by laughter.

"Me? A Death Eater? James, do you honestly believe that I would be a Death Eater? In case you've forgotten I'm the Minister for Magic. And if I had killed them why would I be here? Answer me that."

"Simple, you're paranoid. You've always said it. You came because you thought that if you didn't people would suspect you."

"Ah, I see. Very clever, James, but wrong. I wasn't there. What happened to your family is regrettable and I'm sorry that the Aurors couldn't get there fast enough. Tell me, when were you told these lies?"

"The day I found out."

"So, two weeks ago? Why did you say nothing until now?"

"Because I didn't want to believe it. But then I got to thinking. You go to the funerals of everyone killed by an unknown Death Eater. And at all of those funerals you bring the same Aurors with you for protection, one would assume. But the thing is, you stand there at every funeral, with the same bodyguards and you laugh. Everyone can see it and everyone has criticised you for it. You say that you are trying to lighten the mood. But then, just now when I saw you hear, I saw that your laughter was nervous. Your whole demeanour is nervous and jumpy. And now I know why. You're afraid that someone's going to work it out and then you'll be done for. I figure that, including this one, you've been to thirty funerals of people or families killed by the same unknown Death Eater. So that means you've personally killed, by my count, eighty people."

James let his words hang in the air. He kept his eyes glued on the Minister's face while everyone began to see the truth of his words. He felt Sirius move next to him and noted that Remus, Peter and (to his delight) Lily also came to stand with him. Though Peter stood slightly behind Sirius.

"It also makes me wonder why you bring the same Aurors," James continued. "Could it be that these particular Aurors are Death Eaters as well?" James glanced at the four Aurors and noticed that one of them subconsciously touched his left forearm. James smiled in bitter triumph. "Remus, did you notice that?"

"I did actually." Remus, who was a quicker draw than James surprisingly, pulled out his wand and muttered a spell. The Auror in question watched in absolute horror as the sleeve of his left arm was torn away to reveal a hideous and most unwelcome sight. The Dark Mark. A shocked gasp once again spread through the crowd and before the Minister could escape James crash tackled him to the ground. James went to throw a punch when he felt a light touch on the back of his neck. James knew instinctively that it was Lily's hand on his neck, and Lily's body pressed lightly against his.

"Don't give him a reason, James. Don't give in. This isn't you." Lily placed her small hand over James clenched fist. "Please, James." Lily whispered in his ear and James dropped his fist and stood back, allowing Lily access to the Minister's arm. She pushed his sleeve up to his elbow and stood back as the Dark Mark blazed clearly on the man's pale skin. James' father was there in an instant, pulling the now ex-Minister to his feet and taking away his wand. He then passed him on to some trusted Aurors and turned to James.

"You went there, James?"

"Yes, Dad. I'm sorry. I…" James closed his eyes to hide the tears. His father placed a firm hand on his shoulder and looked around for his wife. When he caught her eye she came over.

"James, I am so very proud you." James looked up at his mother in shock. "You would have made your aunt and uncle, and cousins, very proud as well."

"Really? But you always told me not to fight."

"And you never listened to us. And, honestly, I'm glad you didn't." Mrs. Potter smiled at her son and then turned to Lily. "And who might you be?"

"Lily Evans. I'm a friend of James."

"Lily Evans? Sirius lead us to believe that you hated James."

Lily shot Sirius a murderous look but then smiled at Mrs. Potter. "I don't like Black much so he takes it out on me by telling stories about me."

"I do not. She's lying, Mrs. P. I swear."

Mrs. Potter laughed. "No matter. Thank you, Lily, for helping James." Mrs. Potter said this quietly so that her son wouldn't hear her. "Now, enough drama. It's time to pay our respects to the lives of mine, my husband's, and my son's family." With her piece said Mrs. Potter lead the way into the church. Lily sat beside James and held onto his hand tightly for the entire proceedings until it was his turn to stand up at the lectern and speak.

"I'm here if you need me." Lily whispered to him quietly as she let go of his hand. James nodded dumbly and walked up to stand in front of everyone. James almost lost his nerve when his eyes settled on Peter, Remus, Sirius and Lily. All four of them were smiling at him slightly in support. James decided to either look at them or the back wall.

"I tried to write a proper speech to say and I thought I had managed it. But I don't think that I will be able to read it after what happened outside." James looked down at his notes, then picked them up and threw them onto the floor. He looked back at the Marauders and Lily; all of them were trying not to laugh. James, however, let his laughter bubble up his throat and out his mouth. "I'm sorry. But I can't help thinking about what Aunt Imogene would say if she could see all of us here. She'd say 'James, ma boy, what are these people blubbering about?'" Everyone in the church couldn't help but laugh.

"Aunt Imogene had so many different sayings. Some of them were funny, some were genius, and the rest I didn't understand. I don't think many people did. Except for Uncle Bill. He understood Aunt Imogene perfectly. I think that's why they fell in love and managed to stay together for almost twenty years. They worked in such perfect synchronicity and knew each other so well that the problems that they faced, such as their early inability to conceive a child, they dealt with together and they dealt with easily. Imogene and Bill were a loving couple who wanted nothing more than to have a child and they doted on me for years and years as my godparents. As far as I'm concerned they were the best godparents imaginable. Every year without fail, they would give me a present that my parents had expressly told them not to get me. I'll never forget the day that Uncle Bill gave me my first broomstick, which is the one I still use today. Bill and Imogene taught me Quidditch moves that my dad wouldn't because they, like they always told me, they wanted me to be the absolute best player there was. So really, Gryffindor has Imogene and Bill to thank for the cup we keep winning.

"I will never forget the joy on Imogene and Bill's faces when they announced that they were finally going to have a baby, and twins for that matter! After twenty years of heartbreak they were finally going to have two children to dote on till the cows came home. I remember them saying that I would be the unofficial godfather to both kids. When they had Julie and Matthew they couldn't stop smiling. Both kids were healthy and there was no danger of either of them passing in those early and crucial days as had happened with ten of their other babies that had survived to term. Imogene and Bill were the greatest parents to little Julie and Matthew. The four of them made such a happy family that it all seemed like a dream. Julie and Matthew were angels, plain and simple. They were bright and bubbly. Both of them followed me around like lost puppies and although I pretended that it annoyed me they both knew that I loved it. I promised them that I would teach them Quidditch and show them all of the secret passageways in Hogwarts. I taught them how to get whatever they wanted and how to get all the attention. Mostly they used the last talent to get attention away from me, but I never actually minded when they did that." James glanced at the two tiny coffins placed between two larger ones and had to quickly look away.

James' eyes swept through the room only to see that he was making everyone cry. His eyes settled on Lily, whose tears only made her eyes brighter. Lily managed to smile at him a little. James continued. "I promised Uncle Bill and Aunt Imogene that I would always do my best to protect their little angels. And I promised Julie and Matthew that if they ever needed me I would be there for them." James' voice broke several times and people only just managed to catch the last few words. James bent his head and closed his eyes. He breathed very slowly and very evenly, counting while he did. When he reached thirty he looked up again and kept going.

"Unfortunately, when they needed me the most I wasn't there for them. But someone very wise told me something," James made his eyes focus on Lily and was happy when he saw her blush. "She told me that they knew that if I had been there I would have done anything and to take comfort in the fact that because they were so young they didn't truly know what was happening to them. She was right. I can take comfort in that and I always will. Aunt Imogene, Uncle Bill, Julie and Matthew, like so many others, didn't deserve what happened to them. But I know that right up to the moment that they drew their last breath they loved each other very much and I know that they are looking down on us all and wondering why we're still here blubbering." James nodded, smiled, and then, after a glance at the coffins, sat back down in between Lily and Sirius. Sirius placed a comforting hand on his shoulder and James saw Remus and Peter smiling at him. Lily simply retook his hand and held it in her lap, stroking it softly with her thumb.

…

After the funeral, almost everyone, including Lily, returned to the Potter household for a wake. The Marauders and Lily stayed inside with everyone for a while until the talk inevitably turned to the Minister and other possible Death Eaters. At that point the five of them retreated outside and sat down around a table. The moon that night was half full and Remus sat with his head leaning on the back of the chair staring up at the moon. Peter sat with his hands folded in his lap staring at his left forearm. Sirius sat looking at the table with unfocused eyes trying to think of a way to help Regulus. Lily sat looking around at the Potter's exotic and beautiful garden. James sat watching each of them in turn. It didn't actually click where Peter was looking unfortunately. Peter was the first to leave; citing that if he didn't his mother would come and get him. After he had gone silence fell once again until James broke it.

"I wonder how many Aurors are Death Eaters."

"Hopefully, they were the only ones." Lily said sadly. "But I doubt it. Voldemort is gaining strength every day. His power is unbelievable and the natural draw that everyone has can't always withstand it. Then again some people are just evil and join him as an excuse. Others are probably scared of what could happen to them or someone they care for and join for protection. Others are just out right pathetic morons who need to get a proper life." This last statement was said with such venom that Remus knew she was talking about Severus, but he wisely decided not to say anything.

"That's what I said." Sirius pointed out. James shot him a look that clearly said _Shut up_.

"Then again, some may need protection for other reasons." Remus muttered. He didn't think anyone had heard him but when he looked the three of them were looking at him closely and then they glanced at the moon. Remus looked back at it as well. "Some need to feel as though they belong somewhere. With people like them, monsters like them."

"You're not a monster, Remy. How many times do I have to tell you?" Lily said. Remus smiled happily at her, while Sirius and James stared at her.

"You know he's a werewolf?" Sirius asked rather stupidly.

"Of course I know. It wasn't that hard to work out."

"But… but… how long?"

It was Remus who answered. "Since first year. She worked it out the third time. Came to the Hospital Wing the next morning to confro… sorry, to _see_ me." Remus smiled at Lily again.

"Like I said, not that hard to figure out." From inside the house they heard a clock chime twelve times. "Midnight? Oh, bugger. I'm sorry, James, but I have to go. I have to go dress shopping for my sister's wedding in a few weeks."

"Of course, come one." James showed Lily to the gate at the front of his house. "Thanks for coming today, Lily. I'm not sure what would have happened if you hadn't been there."

"Remus would have stopped you. Or Sirius. But you're not talking about that." Lily blushed slightly. "I'm glad you found what you were looking for. I'm just sorry it was someone everyone trusted." James glanced away and Lily frowned. She reached out and placed her hand against his cheek and made him look at her. "James, what you did today was incredible. A lesser man would have hit him. A lesser man would have killed him. You didn't. You gave your family justice and they would be proud. I'm proud of you. You showed amazing courage and I will never forget that." Lily stood on her tip toes and kissed James very lightly on his cheek. "Bye, James." Before James could do anything Lily smiled and Aparated.

"Bye, Lily." James whispered to the empty night, cheek still burning from the touch of Lily's soft lips.


	7. A Wedding

_The summer holidays were mostly uneventful for all concerned. After the funeral James and Lily didn't see or speak to each other but they couldn't stop thinking about each other. James couldn't forget the feel of Lily's soft lips on his skin and Lily couldn't forget the feeling she got from holding onto his hand. Both were confused but neither hated the confusion. It gave them something good to think about instead of focusing all their thoughts on Voldemort and what he was planning. James' only highlight in the holidays was having Sirius and Remus at his house the entire time. Sirius' name had been blasted off his family tree and Remus simply hated staying at his house for any longer than hour due to the fact that his father was extremely anti-werewolf-. Lily's only highlight was threatening to use magic at her sister's impending wedding. Lily decided to make the horrible wedding day more fun for herself, but she had to ask her mother and sister before she forged ahead with her plan..._

Lily sat at the kitchen table, listening as her mother, her sister, her soon-to-be brother in law and his family plan the up-coming nuptials. Lily's father, Jack, had managed to get out of the session by claiming a previous engagement. Lily knew that he was actually at the pub with some friends. Lily hadn't been allowed to skip it because she was the Maid of Honour. Currently they were going through the guest list and deciding where to seat people. Three people had just dropped out of the wedding, claiming illness. Petunia desperately wanted to fill the spaces but couldn't think of anyone. Lily took a deep breath. Her mother looked at her and cocked an eyebrow.

"Lily? You have something to say?" All eyes turned towards her.

"Yes. I was wondering if I might invite some friends along. Only three, though. It's just that no one I particularly get along with is coming and it might keep occupied." Lily shot a meaningful look at her sister, who blanched.

"Friends from your school, you mean?" Petunia asked.

"Yes, they're in my House. You've already met one of them. Remus Lupin, remember? The other two are James Potter and Sirius Black. They're nice and they won't ruin the day."

"I think that's an excellent idea." Rose, Lily's mother, came to the rescue with a winning smile. Mr. and Mrs. Dursley smiled and nodded, Marge ignored them completely, and Vernon and Petunia looked slightly murderous. Lily ignored them and smiled.

"Fine but they must wear appropriate clothing." Petunia said venomously. Lily understood that "appropriate clothing" meant "Muggle clothing".

"I'll make sure of it. May I send them a proper invitation?" Lily's mother gave her three spare invites before Petunia could protest and Lily rushed upstairs with them. When she reached her room she made a note on all the invites which said _'Please wear a Muggle suit'._ Lily sent off the invitations and reluctantly rejoined the group session.

...

The three Marauders were, at the moment that Lily sent the invites, sitting around the table in the Potter's garden. None of them were talking as they were each wrapped up in their own thoughts. Remus was thinking about the full moon that had passed two days earlier as he was still feeling the pain of the transformation. Sirius was worrying about Regulus and his entire family. James was thinking about Lily. All three were staring up at the sky but it was Sirius' keen eyes that first spotted Lily's tawny owl flying towards them carrying what appeared to be a very heavy load. As it got closer Sirius could make out three different pieces of whatever attached to the animal's small legs. Sirius laughed at the slightly ridiculous sight, which alerted the others to the owl's arrival. The owl landed heavily on the table and stuck its leg out to Remus, who it knew best.

"Hello, Absolem. What have you got there?" Remus untied the three invites and handed them out.

"Invites? Who the hell would we want to go to a wedding?" Sirius questioned. "And why is the owl called 'Absolem'? It's not a very good name for an owl."

"Absolem is the name of the blue caterpillar in _Alice in Wonderland._ And we want to go to the wedding because Lily invited us. Oh, and Sirius? Do you have a Muggle suit?" James asked.

"Course not, you idiot. Why would I? Actually how the hell could I have gotten one?"

"Fair enough. You'll have to get one then." James ran into the house and made sure that nothing was planned for that day and to grab a pen. Once all three RSVP slips were filled in they sent them off with Absolem.

"By the way, Prongs, how'd you know where the name Absolem was from?"

"I read the book when I was younger." James didn't tell them that he'd read it with his Aunt Imogene.

...

The day of the wedding arrived and Lily was nervous as anything. It had nothing to do with the fact that her sister was getting married but mostly to do with the fact that her dress was a hideous colour pink and clashed terribly with her red hair. Lily stared at herself in the mirror and actually began to weep. Her mother came into the room and rushed to her daughter's side.

"Lily, what's wrong?"

"The colour. Look at the colour. It's hideous." Lily sobbed onto her mother's shoulder. Rose had known this would come up.

"I'll make you a deal. You can change the colour of the dress and you act civilly to everyone, including Vernon's family. Deal?"

Lily sniffed and smiled. "Deal. But what about Petunia?"

"Let me deal with her. What colour were you thinking? Green to match your eyes? Or maybe blue? Or perhaps red? Or what about silver?"

"I was thinking a goldy colour." Lily picked up her wand and muttered the spell. The dress turned from the pink to a lovely light gold colour that complimented her hair and eye colour perfectly. It also suited the dress style better. Rose smiled at her youngest daughter's ingenuity and then left to deal with her eldest. Lily re-did the make-up she had smudged and went downstairs to help out. Lily soon found her father out in the back yard drawing in huge breaths of fresh air. Jack always did this when his three special girls were annoying him.

"Bad time?" Lily laughed as her father spun round and almost toppled over.

"Lily! Don't scare me like that. You almost gave me a bloody heart attack. Actually I take that back. Your sister is giving me one." It was a well known fact that Mr. Evans found his eldest daughter to be a spoilt drama queen and that Lily was by far his favourite. And he didn't care if Petunia knew it.

Lily swatted at his arm. "You shouldn't say that."

"All right, all right. But on the day you get married I'll be saying the same thing. It's just that the heart attack will be caused by someone taking you away from me and not because you're running around shouting at everyone." Jack smiled sadly at Lily.

"I'm not leaving you, Daddy." Lily hugged her father tightly. Lily was a Daddy's girl through and through and didn't mind if people knew about it.

"Come on. I suppose we better do something before Petunia actually loses her head." Father and daughter walked back into the house arm in arm. "By the way, you look beautiful."

...

James, Sirius and Remus arrived outside the house that the Evans family called home and stared at it in wonder. It was, by Muggle standards, a veritable mansion. Flying in gently in the breeze from a flag pole was the Union Jack and beneath that flag was the Irish national flag.

"Why is there an Irish flag?" Sirius stared at the flag.

"Because Lily's mother is from Belfast, that's why. Come on." Remus led the way to the front door and knocked loudly. After a minute of scrambling sounds behind the door it was pulled open by a woman who could only be Petunia Evans, soon-to-be Dursley. Petunia stared at the three of them for a second, and when she recognised Remus she frowned.

"Excellent more freaks for the show. LILY! Your freaks are here." Petunia gave the hideous look and walked away to be replaced by a lovely woman.

"Good morrow, Remus. And you must James and Sirius." The woman shook each of their hands and guessed correctly which was James and whish was Sirius.

"Hello Rose. Guys, this is Lily's mother." Sirius seemed shocked that such a nice and calm woman could be mother to the girl with the fiery temper that they knew so well. James didn't seem at all shocked. Now he could see where Lily got her looks, though Rose had black hair and chocolate brown eyes.

"Hello, Mrs. Evans." James smiled his best and was glad to see that Rose smiled back widely at him. James had planned on making a good impression and so far everything was going well. Then a stern looking man appeared behind Rose and came towards them. The look on his face told them that this was defiantly Lily's father.

"Good morning, Jack." Remus spoke up first. When Jack saw Remus he smiled brightly.

"Remus, my boy." Jack shook Remus' hand and then embraced him. "How are you?" The worried look on Jack's face told James and Sirius that Jack knew about Remus' lycanthropy.

"Fine, thank you, sir. This is James Potter and Sirius Black." Remus introduced the other two and James was glad to see that Mr. Evans appeared to like the look of him.

"Come in, boys. I'm sure my Lily's around here somewhere. LILY! YOU'RE FRIENDS ARE HERE!" Jack had to yell as Petunia suddenly began screaming at the top of her lungs. Next thing they knew red hair and gold dress was racing down the stairs being chased by brown hair and white slip. Lily flew straight into James' arms and he quickly pushed her behind him. Jack smiled warmly at this sight and moved into Petunia's path.

"Something wrong, my dear?"

"She changed the colour! The freak!" Petunia shouted this last bit over her father's shoulder and in Lily's general direction. James felt Lily press her forehead against the back of his neck and her grip tighten on his arms.

Rose stepped in to calm the situation. "Calm down, Petunia. I told her should could on the condition that she had to act civilly to everyone here today, including Vernon and his family. She will also make sure that her friends don't use any magic in front of anyone, and neither will she. Fair enough?"

Petunia was livid. "Fine. Leave the colour. But if I see one piece of... abnormality you will all regret it. You're all freaks!" Petunia stomped back up stairs. Rose threw an apologetic look at the boys and left. Jack sighed, squeezed Lily's shoulder and made his escape. Lily pressed her head against James' shoulder again, took a deep breath and then moved into sight of the other two.

"Hello. Sorry you had to see that. Thanks for coming." Lily smiled, and although it was warm the pain there was unbearable for James but he didn't risk doing anything other than smile at her.

"Lovely woman your sister." Sirius stated rather unnecessarily. "Your parents on the other hand are lovely. Rose and Jack? Kind of a doom bringer isn't it?"

"You've seen _Titanic_?" Lily asked incredulous.

"My mother made the three of us watch it last summer holidays. He cried like a baby." James laughed.

"So did he." Sirius muttered. "This house is incredible, Lils. You never said you were rich."

"You never asked. Come on, I'll show you where the horror show is going down."

…

Almost two hours later, the ceremony was over and the congregation had moved to the local hall, which Jack Evans actually owned. Petunia hadn't been happy about having the reception there but they got it for free and when it was all done up it was near impossible to tell that it was a hall-for-hire. When Lily walked in as part of the bridal party she saw that Petunia had made sure that James, Sirius and Remus were stuck at the worst table with Lily's most obnoxious cousins, Jane and Jill. She smiled at the three of them and rolled her eyes at them. The three of them attempted to stifle their laughs but only just managed to make it sound as though they were coughing. Lily took her place and waited for Petunia and Vernon to arrive at the hall. Lily couldn't wait to see Petunia's face as she walked in to the room. As expected Petunia looked disgusted but tried to hide it behind a smile. Lily was forced to turn her head away so that no one would see her laughing.

As the dinner and speeches dragged on Lily felt as though her head was going to explode. She needed fresh air but her mother was making sure that she couldn't leave by throwing relative after relative at her to keep her occupied. Lily put on a brave face and forced herself to stay in her seat and breathe deeply. It didn't work very well. But soon it was time for the bridal waltz which meant that Lily had to dance with Vernon's best man who was even bigger than Vernon and smelt worse. Half way through the dance Lily managed to escape from Bill and made her way over to the boys while dodging several relatives on the way. When she reached them she found that Jane and Jill were desperately trying to chat up the three boys. However, when Lily approached her cousins stopped talking all together and turned venomous smiles on her.

"Lily, how nice to see you." Jane drawled. "I didn't recognise you for a second there. You don't often wear dresses and you almost never look pretty."

"Thanks for the compliment." Jane looked incredibly confused before realising exactly what she had said. She sighed and motioned to Jill to leave. Lily took Jill's vacant seat. "Sorry about them. In case you couldn't tell we don't get along very well."

"Do you get along with anyone in your family?" Sirius asked incredulously.

"Do you?" Lily replied simply. Sirius frowned. "I didn't think so. I hope you guys aren't too bored."

"Not at all. I've never been to a Muggle wedding before." James looked around and decided that he rather liked the Muggle version.

"And I've never been to a magical wedding before." Lily laughed.

"If you'll excuse me." Remus suddenly got up and left for the exit.

"Is he okay?" Lily asked. Sirius and James had followed Remus' exit with their eyes but they now turned their attention back to Lily.

"No. He got a letter from his father this morning telling him that he was trying to get a law passed which would mean that werewolves would be hunted down and killed one by one." James said. His eyes were burning with hatred and Sirius was no better.

"I knew that Remus' father was anti-werewolf but I never realised how badly."

"You have no idea. Should we leave him?" Sirius had turned his attention back to where Remus had left.

"Yeah, he'll come back when he's ready." James was also looking at the door. After a minute Sirius was distracted by someone else. Lily followed his line of sight and sighed when she saw who was looking at.

"That's Amelia Adams. She's a friend of Petunia's and not worth the trouble."

"I'll be the judge of that." Sirius got up and made his way over to Amelia leaving James and Lily alone for the first time all day.

"Are you enjoying yourself?" James was amused to see Lily roll her eyes and pretend to gag.

"Of course I am. I've never had so much fun!" Lily rolled her eyes again. "I want to leave but as the Maid of Honour I can't. Instead I'm stuck dancing with Bill the whale over there. He stinks something bad. Worse than the Owlry at school." Lily pretended to gag again but descended into laughter when James laughed at her.

James went to speak but they were interrupted by Bill the Whale. James had to breathe through his mouth to stop himself from gagging on the stench. Lily raised her eyebrows at him as if to say _Told you so_.

"Here you are, Lily flower. I was wondering where you'd escaped to." James had to hide a laugh as a cough. Bill's voice was incredibly high and didn't match his appearance. Plus he'd called Lily 'Lily flower'. "And you would be?"

"James Potter. I'm a friend of Lily's from school." James did the polite thing and stood, hand outstretched. The whale looked at his hand, scoffed and proffered his arm to Lily.

"Shall we dance, my dear?"

"Thanks but no."

"And why not?" Bill dropped his arm and genuinely looked hurt. No doubt he was thinking it had something to do with the smell. But Lily was too kind to let him know the truth but she couldn't think of something to say.

"Because she only just agreed to dance with me." James jumped to rescue and took Lily by the hand, leading her away to the dance floor just as Percy Sledge's _When A Man Loves A Woman_ came on. James saw Lily close her eyes and knew that she must feel slightly awkward. "You can run if you like."

Lily looked up at him and instead of answering placed her hand on James' shoulder.

…

_When a man loves a woman_   
_Can't keep his mind on nothing else_   
_He'll trade the world_   
_For the good thing he's found_   
_If she's bad he can't see it_   
_She can do no wrong_   
_Turn his back on his best friend_   
_If he put her down._

_When a man loves a woman_   
_Spend his every last dime_   
_Tryin' to hold on to what he needs_   
_He'd give up all his comfort_   
_Sleep out in the rain_   
_If she'd said that's the way it ought to be_

_Well, this man loves a woman_   
_I gave you everything I had_   
_Tryin' to hold on to your precious love_   
_Baby, please don't treat me bad_

_When a man loves a woman_   
_Down deep in his soul_   
_She can bring him such misery_   
_If she plays him for a fool_   
_He's the last one to know_   
_Loving' eyes can't ever see_

_When a man loves a woman_   
_He can do no wrong_   
_He can never own some other girl_   
_Yes, when a man loves a woman_   
_I know exactly how he feels_   
_'Cause baby, baby, baby, you're my world._

…

After several songs, James and Lily made their escape out into the cool night air. James quickly steered Lily away from where he could see Sirius and Amelia leaning against a wall. Instead they sat on a low stone bench over-looking the city. For a long time the two of them sat in silence looking out over the twinkling lights of the city below them.

"I hope Remus is okay." Lily muttered suddenly. It was then that James noticed that Lily was staring up at the moon. There was a slight twinkle in her eye and James couldn't help but feel as though Lily was thinking about more than just Remus. But he didn't think that he should ask, because chances were it had something to do with the turmoil in the magical community.

"Remus is tougher than he looks. He'll be okay, he just needs time." Lily smiled at him but quickly looked away when she could feel a blush coming on.

"I certainly hope so. He doesn't deserve to go through all… the crap. The superstitious crap that people have about Muggles is ridiculous. I just don't understand how people can be so shallow and idiotic to think that Muggles are incapable of doing things without magic. What are you staring at me like that for?" Lily asked James.

"You're not talking about werewolves. Lil, you said the superstitious crap that people have about _Muggles._ You said nothing about werewolves."

"Oh, I didn't even realise. I didn't mean too. It just slipped out, that's all."

"Twice, Lil. Once I get, but twice?" James twisted his body so that he was facing Lily, who sighed and covered her face with her hands. James placed his hand on her shoulder gently. "What's wrong, Lil?"

"Nothing. Really." Lily looked at James and could tell by the cocked eyebrow that he didn't believe her for a second. "I don't know. Sometimes I can't help but wish that I wasn't who or what I am. At home I'm a freak and at school I'm mud. Sometimes I just don't see the point in trying to be someone I'm not, but at the same time I don't know who I am."

"Lily, you are whoever you want to be. You aren't a freak and you aren't mud. You're beautiful and smart and incredible and you deserve so much more than what you have. I have never known you to care about what other people think of you and I find it hard to believe that you do. The Lily Evans I know is proud to be a witch and a Muggle born. The Lily Evans I know is not a meek girl who doesn't know who she is or where she belongs. You are exactly who you want to be." James took hold of Lily's hand. "To me, you are Lily Evans, the best witch I have ever met and the best Muggle I've met. You're the best of both worlds and you belong in both."

"Thank you, James." Lily moved closer to him and rested her head on his shoulder. "I don't care what people think of me but if you hear the same thing over and over again it gets to you. That's all. Petunia keeps calling me a freak and so I think I am one. Slytherins keep calling me mud blood and so I think I am. It's hard not to listen to them. I try, though, I really do. But with everything that's happening with Voldemort I'm finding it harder to not listen to them. I'm finding it harder to believe that we can fight him, that we can beat him. Do you think we can?"

James squeezed Lily's hand and looked up at the moon. "No, I don't think we can. But we can at least stand with our heads held high and say that we tried. One day we will be able to say that we stood up for what was right. That we didn't cave under the pressure. That we fought for as long and as hard as we could. That's all we can hope for. I do believe that one day a very powerful witch or wizard will come along and defeat him for good. I just don't know if we'll be there to see it." James lapsed into silence, not wanting to say more. Lily didn't move but her grip on his hand tightened.

They sat like that for a long time before they finally stood and re-entered the hall and the festivities that were going on. Lily and James were virtually inseparable for the rest of the night. Each of them were going over what had been said, and what they hadn't said. When the night ended they each went their separate ways, thoughts swirling around their heads. They wouldn't see or hear from each other until the end of the summer holidays and their new and last year at Hogwarts.


	8. Head Boy and Girl

_The end of the summer holidays meant a return to Hogwarts for the very last time for the Marauders and Lily. It also meant a year of responsibility for Lily as Head Girl and for James as Head Boy and Gryffindor Quidditch captain. Neither was aware of the responsibilities of the other until the two of them turned up for the Prefects meeting on the Hogwarts Express. James had known that Lily would be the Head Girl and had been worrying about her possible reaction since he had first received the badge in his letter. Lily, on the other hand, hadn't had any suspicions. She had decided that so long as it wasn't a Slytherin everything would be fine…_

James sheepishly followed Remus into the Prefects carriage. Lily was standing at the front, talking to the female Gryffindor Prefect, Amber, who was a fourth year. Lily and Amber were laughing about something and James sunk further behind Remus.

"Will you please relax? She doesn't bite. Well, not anymore, anyway." Remus smirked.

"Thanks for the comforting words. I appreciate it. Really, I do." James whispered back, sarcastically. Remus laughed and this, of course, attracted Lily's attention. "You did that in purpose." James hit Remus on the back.

"You don't say. Hey, Lily." Remus smiled brightly. James groaned.

"Hey, Remus. James, what are you doing here?" Lily was a little more than confused. Remus surreptitiously faded into the background.

"Um, yeah, 'bout that. I'm Head Boy." James said it in such a rush that even he only barely caught what he said. Lily's face seemed to freeze and then there was a look of confusion. "Maybe I did say that too fast. I'm…"

"Head Boy, yeah, I heard you." Lily turned away and began to organise everyone. James meekly stood beside her for the entire meeting. Lily didn't acknowledge him except to tell the prefects that he was Head Boy. There had been what sounded like, a touch of disgust or anger when she made the announcement. The feeling appeared to be shared by all of the prefects except for Remus, who had smiled at him reassuringly. James hadn't moved or said a word since the meeting had begun. When it was over Lily forced a smile and all the prefects left. Remus gave James another reassuring smile before he left. When the door swung closed Lily turned away from James and started to pack up her things.

"I'm sorry I didn't have anything to say during the meeting." James mumbled. He felt as though he should have said something but he hadn't been able to think of anything.

Lily stopped what she was doing and turned to face him slowly. "That's fine, I suppose." Lily looked at him a second longer and then walked out, leaving James standing by himself.

…

James returned to where his fellow Marauders were waiting for him. It was clear when he walked in that they had just been talking about him. It was slightly unnerving to walk into a room where moments before people had been discussing your love life, or lack thereof. Sirius stood when he entered the room and saluted him.

"What are you doing?"

"Saluting a brave if idiotic man-boy. I would've run away as soon as she looked confused." Sirius grinned and ended his salute. James scowled and sat down next to the window. There was silence in their compartment until Sirius suggested a game of Exploding Snap which Peter gladly agreed to. Remus merely rolled his eyes and moved out of their way, which that he moved closer to James.

Once the game was well under way, Remus whispered to James. "You could go and talk to her." Remus sighed when he saw James close his. "Would it kill you to talk to her?"

"No," James whispered back. "But she won't talk to me. Didn't you hear what she said? ' _Potter's Head Boy'._ Potter, Remus, she called me Potter. She hasn't done that for months. She won't talk to me." James closed his eyes and leaned his forehead against the cool glass of the window. Remus turned away, thinking that James was probably right. James passed the rest of the train trip in absolute silence.

…

During the feast, James remained silent, eating only the bare minimum. Sirius, Remus and Peter were actually beginning to worry about him. James always ate the same amount as Sirius, but that night he ate less than Remus, which was a single plate piled acceptably. James was dreading the end of dinner when the time for Dumbledore's speech came. Dumbledore always took great pleasure in telling people who the Head Students were for the year, especially if the student would be embarrassed. James visibly flinched when the crumbs disappeared and silence fell.

"Welcome to our new students, and welcome back to the old. A few notices for the first years and some reminders for the older students," Dumbledore's eyes swept to the Marauders at this point and he noticed the dejected look on James' face. "The forest at the edge of the grounds is forbidden to all students and Mr. Filch wishes me to remind you that magic is not allowed in the corridors between classes. A list of forbidden items can be found stuck to the door of Mr. Filch's office if any of you care to take a peek. I would also like to announce that our new Head Girl is Miss Lily Evans and our new Head Boy is James Potter." The reaction to Lily's name is of polite, fake surprise. The reaction to James' name was complete surprise. Some good, others not so good. James saw Lily frown slightly as his name was mentioned. "I would ask that you all treat them well and do not question what they ask of you, nor my decisions. I also ask that the two of them remain behind to see me. I bid the rest of you a fond and heartfelt goodnight."

There was a great rush of people leaving, eager to get to their dormitory and collapse into their warm beds. James stayed in his seat, ignoring everyone who went past. Many called out congratulations, while many others yelled an insult, and some didn't bother saying anything. Lily, James saw, stood off to the side and away from any students walking past. When the hall was empty James and Lily walked up to join Dumbledore.

"Congratulations to the both of you. I know that you will both do an excellent job. Now, as is customary, you will have the choice of remaining in the Gryffindor dormitories or you may wish to elect to stay in the Head dormitories. However, you must both make the same decision. You will find the entrance to the dormitories on the seventh floor in between a suit of armour and a painting of Helga the Highlander. Good luck and good night." Dumbledore smiled at them and left the Great Hall.

"So, do you want to stay in Gryffindor tower?" James asked cautiously. Lily huffed and walked away from him. James watched her go but then hurried to catch up. Neither of them said a word as they made their way to the seventh floor. When they reached the portrait of Helga the Highlander they stopped and stared at the blank wall.

A voice from nowhere spoke to them softly. "You may choose your own password. Unlike the regular House passwords, yours will remain the same for the entire year. Choose wisely."

Lily frowned and turned to James. "I'm not good at this. You think of something."

James was silent for a minute trying to think of a suitable password. His mind flashed back to Petunia's wedding. "Percy Sledge." Lily frowned for a second before remembering the song they had first danced to. The blank wall sunk back slightly until it was a doorway. James and Lily walked through and found themselves in a large room occupied by several couches, tables and chairs. The walls were covered in paintings of previous head students, and famous witches and wizards.

"Well, well, two Gryffindors. That hasn't happened in a long time. I was wondering about the hideous decor." James and Lily spun around. Hanging above the doorway was a large painting of four people. On the left hand side stood a tall man with a brown beard wearing a red cloak embroidered with the image of the Gryffindor lion. Sitting on a chair next to the man was a plump woman with a kind face. She wore a yellow cloak with a badger on it. Sitting next to her was a severe looking woman with a brown hair twisted into a knot on top of her head wearing a blue cloak with an eagle. The last man was standing up and he wore a green cloak with a snake on it. James and Lily realised at the same time that it was the four founders of Hogwarts: Godric Gryffindor, Helga Hufflepuff, Rowena Ravenclaw and Salazar Slytherin. It had been Salazar who had spoken.

"Shush, Salazar. Congratulations to the both of you." Helga spoke with a soft and kind voice.

"Yes, my congratulations." Rowena spoke with an air of authority and it seemed as though she couldn't care less about what was happening.

"This is an honour! Two of my House as the Head students. And what are your names?" Godric's voice was deep but kind.

"My name's Lily Evans and this is James Potter."

Godric smiled at them. "Potter? I thought so. Your father was Head Boy wasn't he?" James nodded dumbly. He wasn't quite sure what to say. Godric's smile widened. "I thought you looked familiar. And your mother?"

"Yes, sir. Her name's Emily Potter. But her maiden name was Jackson."

"Yes I remember them." He looked at Lily. "And your parent's, my dear? I don't think I've known any Head students with name Evans."

"You wouldn't," Lily glanced at Salazar. "I'm a Muggle born." As expected Salazar frowned but he managed to keep his mouth shut.

"Ah, well that would explain it." Godric smiled kindly at her. "I hope that neither of you will mind us being here. Some of the others had… issues with at least one of us." Godric sent a dirty look at Salazar who simply returned the gesture. "Anyway, congratulations to you both. Tell me, what is happening in the outside world? We don't get much information as you can imagine. Though Dumbledore is more than happy to fill us in occasionally."

"Uh, what do you want to know?" Lily asked quietly. She was slightly awed by the painting.

"What's _his_ descendant up to?" Godric threw another dirty look at Salazar.

"You mean, how many innocent people has he killed?" James said with venom. This seemed to surprise the four founders.

"Voldemort isn't up to anything good." Lily interrupted. Salazar seemed to nod approvingly. "He's tricking more and more people into following him and killing Muggles, Muggle born, half-bloods and blood traitors. There are people who are trying to fight him but so far it's not going well. Now, I'm sorry, but neither of us particularly wish to talk about that hideous monster."

"Of course, of course. Godric was right though. We don't get to hear much." Helga said kindly to them.

"My descendant is obviously a very powerful wizard." Salazar sneered.

"And an evil little f…"

"James!" Lily stopped James before he could finish the word. He scowled at her slightly but didn't say anything. "I'm going to bed. It was nice meeting you. Goodnight."

"Night." James watched as Lily walked up the stairs to her room.

"You fancy her, don't you?" Godric said, smiling. James scowled and went up to his own room.

…

The next morning, James woke up and frowned at the ceiling of his four-poster. It took him a second to realise why there wasn't a giant lion. James sat up and pushed his curtains out of the way and looked around his new room. The walls were covered in Quidditch paraphernalia, including Gryffindor paraphernalia. There was also a large dark brown wardrobe and another door lead into a bathroom. James sighed. He really liked his dorm but he missed his friends. He missed waking up in the morning to Peter's snore. He missed waking up to Remus already dressed and attempting to wake Sirius. Every morning had been the same, almost. Now he was alone and he didn't like it. The silence of the room pressed upon and he was forced to take a deep breath in order to steady himself. He wondered if Lily was awake yet.

…

Lily was, at that moment, sitting up in her bed looking around at her room. It was warm and comfy and simple. There was a large Gryffindor banner on one wall next to the wardrobe. There was also a dressing table and a large plushy chair in one corner which Lily knew would be perfect for reading and sleeping. There was also a door that lead to a bathroom. Lily liked the quiet but she missed the hysteria that she knew would be taking place in the seventh year Gryffindor girl's dorm. Alice and Mary would be up and rushing around madly trying to get ready. Lily smiled slightly and slowly got out of bed. Lily went to pull her uniform out of her bag before realising that it was a Saturday and so she didn't have to wear her uniform. Instead she pulled on a pair of jeans and a white shirt. Lily briefly considered wearing her badge but shook her head. People would think she was boasting, and they would be right. Once Lily was ready she went downstairs, only to remember that breakfast was held later on in the morning on the weekend. Lily huffed and threw herself into one of the armchairs and hoped that Potter wouldn't come down yet.

…

James dressed quickly and left his room in the hope that he would be able to get to the Gryffindor common room quickly. When he got downstairs, however, he stopped dead in his tracks. Lily was sitting on one of the armchairs. She looked up when she heard him, frowned and looked away again.

"Morning, Lily."

"Morning, Jam… Potter." Lily made sure that she didn't look at him.

James sighed and sat down across from her. "I know you aren't happy about me being Head Boy but it's not going to change any time soon, so you may as well get used to it." James said in a rush. He heard the four founders sniggering and shot them a withering glare.

"It's not that. I promise." Lily kept her eyes down, ashamed of the actual reason that she was treating him so badly.

"Then what is it?" James knew that he sounded like an insensitive prick but he didn't have time for Lily to be all… mysterious on him.

Lily rung her hands together and avoided his eyes. "You were so nice to me during the holidays but now were back at Hogwarts and I don't want you to turn into the arrogant toerag again. I liked the James Potter I knew in the holidays and I'm scared that now that we're back here you'll revert to your old self again. I have no doubt that you'll be a good Head Boy, though."

James sat back in his seat. He was unable to comprehend what Lily had just said. He thought that he must be hearing things. Lily looked up at him from beneath her lashes and James sighed. She was right to feel the way she did. He couldn't deny that. James moved next to her and placed a comforting hand on her back. "Lils, do you know why I acted like a prick? Why I cursed and pranked people? Why I did everything I did?"

"Cause you're a self absorbed idiot?" Lily laughed softly.

"No," James laughed. "It's because somehow I thought that would make you notice me."

"It did."

"True, but not for the right reasons. See I thought that it would make me look cool. But it just made me look like a… self absorbed idiot. The truth is that how you saw me in the holidays is how I really am. You have to believe that. I am a nice person. I'm not going to revert back to how I was. I don't want to be that kind of guy anymore. Especially seeing as you don't like me that way. I'm not going to curse people for fun, however, I'm still going to prank people." James smiled as Lily laughed. "Are we okay?"

"Yeah, we're okay." Lily sniffed and smiled gently at him. Lily buried her face into James' neck and he wrapped his arms around her. The two of them sat like that for quite a while until Lily broke her hold on him and they went down to breakfast.


	9. Deadly Accident

_James and Lily became even closer friends as the year progressed further. The entire school commented, quietly, how well the two of them worked together and how they supported and looked out for each other. James didn't ask Lily out at all, much to her chagrin. Halloween passed and the Quidditch season started up again. Lily went to every single match, whereas before she only went when dragged there, and for every single near miss that James encountered she flinched and prayed that he was okay. It was December when the inevitable happened…_

The match was Gryffindor v. Slytherin and as always the match was dirty and no one was playing fair. Not even the Head Boy. The match was the last one before the holidays and therefore, the last one before the Christmas Ball. Most of the student population was staying behind for the holidays for the ball but also for the match being played out in front of them. The weather was, for once, perfect for Quidditch. It wasn't snowing and there was only a slight breeze in the air. Gryffindor was leading 150-60 and as time passed and the Snitch remained elusive some bloody tactics were brought to the forefront of the game.

High up in the sky, James, as Gryffindor captain, was keeping an eye on everyone plus the Quaffle. So far he'd racked up an impressive 85 points for this particular game. He watched as one of the Slytherin Beaters sent a Bludger flying towards Sirius, who was a Beater. James yelled out to Sirius, who only just managed to dodge the flying ball of metal before belting it towards the Slytherin Seeker. The move by the Slytherin Beater made no sense. Why go after a Beater? Sure they did damage but they weren't worth missing a shot at a Chaser or the Seeker. James couldn't understand what the Slytherins were up to but he figured that everything would be fine. Eventually.

James passed the Quaffle off to one of the other Chasers and glanced around to make sure the other players were doing okay. Sirius was keeping an eye on both Bludgers and all the Slytherin players. The Seeker was hovering high above everyone else. The Keeper was slightly relaxed at that moment but he was still keeping a very close eye on the Slytherin players. Apparently James wasn't the only one who had noticed something strange about the way the Slytherins were playing the game. Suddenly James heard Sirius yell out his name. James turned to his mate's voice and saw him signalling for him to drop. James didn't comprehend what was going on at first bit then he saw one of the Bludgers coming towards him. James forced his broom into a steep dive and only just managed to get away from the speeding bullet. James pulled out of the dive and headed back up. James sighed in relief and then… white lights blazed in his eyes… a searing pain soared through his head… red sticky stuff on his hands… wind… blue sky… green grass… black…

…

Lily sat in the stand next to Remus and watched James fly through the sky. Somehow the brutal sport was magical when James was playing. He moved with such grace and ease. The determination on his face was incredibly sexy. Lily shook her head. _James is not sexy._ The game had been going for so long and even Lily knew that the Slytherins weren't playing properly. There was just something strange about their tactics. Lily asked Remus what he thought.

"I'm not sure." Remus frowned, his eyes following the Slytherin captain. "Something's weird about their so-called tactics. They're sending the Bludgers at Sirius. Why would they try to take out a Beater over the Seeker or one of the Chasers? But I'm sure it's nothing, Lily."

"Even though they're playing dirty?"

"Lily, they're all playing dirty, not just the Slytherins. They'll be fine." Lily could see that Remus didn't actually believe what he was saying. Remus was wringing his hands and his eyes were darting all over the sky. Lily rolled her eyes at him and turned back to the match.

Lily grabbed onto Remus' arm as James dived to avoid the Bludger. Lily didn't release her grip on his arm until James had come out of the dive. Lily sighed and closed her eyes for a second. She opened her eyes just in time to see a Bludger smash into the side of James' head. As the Bludger hit James his head seemed to explode outwards. Blood and bits of bone flew out in all directions. Everyone in the stands stood as one as James swayed slightly on his broom. A second later the other Bludger slammed into the other side of James' head. The force of the impact pushed the two sides of James head together in the most grotesque way. James reached up to the side of his head and stared at the blood on his hand. James seemed confused by the blood and then he slipped off his broom and began to plummet towards the ground. Before anyone could react James hit the ground with a sickening _thud_.

The entire incident had happened in less than ten seconds. There was absolute silence as Madam Pomfrey ran out onto the pitch and fell to her knees besides the fallen star. Sirius landed ten metres away from the prone body of his best mate and ran over. Everyone watched as Sirius stopped short when he got a closer look at James and fell to his knees. Remus raced onto the pitch and joined Sirius. Lily stood stock still in the stands and then, throwing everything to the wind, she ran down the stairs, leapt over the fence, and joined the two boys. Lily sucked in a breath before looking at James.

His eyes were closed. His robes splattered with blood. His glasses were missing. His chest wasn't rising or falling. His head was a mess of blood and lord knew what else. There were two gaping holes on either side of his head, exactly where his temples used to be. There was no way that James Potter could still be alive. Everyone could see that.

_Oh my God. How could this happen? Please, please don't let him be dead. Please let him live. I need him to… I need him. Please let him come back. Please let him come back to me. I need him. I… I… I love him. I love James David Potter._

Lily broke down.

…

Sirius, Remus, Peter and Lily variously sat and stood around outside the doors to the Hospital Wing waiting for news. Madam Pomfrey hadn't allowed them in for obvious reasons. James had been ferried up to the Hospital Wing by Professor Dumbledore while Professor McGonagall had made all the students return to the dormitories. No one was allowed to be anywhere near the Hospital Wing except for the four of them. That had happened almost four hours ago. Mr and Mrs Potter had arrived about an hour after it had happened. The two of them had smiled briefly at them and they hadn't come out of the Wing once. Neither had Professor Dumbledore. Lily was sitting on the floor, eyes closed, head back, hoping and praying. Sirius was sitting on the floor across from her. He was holding his head in his hands and whispering. Peter was standing, leaning against the wall. His eyes were open but they were un-focused. Remus was pacing back and forth along the hallway. Every so often he would swear under his breath and run a hand through his hair.

Lily straightened up slightly when Professor McGonagall came around the corner bearing food and drinks for the four of them. She handed the trays over to Remus and Peter and left without another word. It didn't escape any of their notice that seemed as though their strong Head of House had been crying. Lily watched the three boys eat the food but didn't have any herself. Once she got sick of watching them eat she closed her eyes again and leant her head back. Lily couldn't believe what was happening. Just as she admits her feelings for James, albeit to herself, he goes and gets himself so badly injured that everyone believes he's going to die. The unfairness of it all hit Lily like a ton of bricks, forcing her eyes open again. She caught the boys looking at her before they quickly looked away again. Lily ignored them and closed her eyes once more. This time, though, she fell asleep.

…

"I just don't know." Madam Pomfrey muttered.

Pomfrey, Dumbledore and Mr and Mrs Potter were staring down at James' prone body. Madam Pomfrey had managed to fix James' external injuries but she couldn't be sure about the possible injuries to James' brain. As far as she was concerned there was every chance that James would be better off dead. If there was brain damage, it would be irreparable. James Potter would be no more. He would be an empty shell and there was no way of knowing in advance. Dumbledore sighed and frowned at the frame of the Head Boy. He couldn't work it out either. Mr and Mrs Potter were no better. Mrs Potter was clinging onto her husband's arm, drawing strength from his immoveable frame. Mr Potter seemed calm on the outside but inside was a different story. A storm was raging inside David Potter's mind and the only way to calm it was for his son to wake up and be exactly the same as he had always been.

"David, Melissa, I am sorry about this. I can promise you that I will get to the bottom of this." James' parents nodded. "Madam Pomfrey, I believe that there are four very anxious students outside. May they come in yet?"

"I suppose. If, of course, David and Melissa don't mind."

"Of course not. We should go home and get some sleep anyway. Thank you for everything you've done, Pomona. Albus, please let us know if anything changes." Dumbledore smiled and nodded. James' parents left, without telling the four students anything.

"Pomona, will he be okay?"

"I don't know. Albus, I have never seen this kind of injury before. I have fixed everything on the outside but inside? That's a different story all together. I've done what I can. Now, well now, it's up to him."

"Very well. I'll bring them in."

…

Apparently James would be able to hear them talking. Lily very much doubted it. The four of them were sitting around James bed looking down at him. Madam Pomfrey had given in and was allowing them to stay through the night. On the condition that if James were to wake they were to get her immediately. From the way she had said it, Lily assumed that the nurse didn't expect to woken. And it was clear to them that she didn't expect James to come back properly. Chances were, she said, that he would have some kind of brain damage. Chances were, she said, he wouldn't be the same James David Potter they knew and loved. He would be changed, different. Lily wasn't going to allow that to happen. James would come back and he would be as good as new.

At some stage Lily fell asleep. She dreamed that she joined James wherever he was. They were floating amongst the clouds, high up above the ground. When they looked down they could Hogwarts and the grounds and the Quidditch pitch. They were care free. Nothing to worry about, no reason to feel fear or lose. A beautiful place where there was no pain, no hurt, no worry, no lose. A place where they were free as birds, as light as clouds, as care free as a new born child. They were together and nothing else mattered.

Lily woke from her incredible dream with a start. She'd slipped down the chair in her sleep. The Hospital Wing was dark and Lily could tell that was probably about three o'clock in the morning. The boys were all sleeping in the chairs. James was unmoved. Lily sighed and pushed her hair back of her face. Lily burst into silent tears as soon as she looked at the man loved properly. Lily put her head down on James bed and sobbed. Lily didn't even bother trying to brush the tears away. There was no point. More tears would come, simple as that.

After what seemed an eternity, Lily's eyes dried out and she sucked in several deep breaths to steady herself. Lily looked at James face and took hold of his hand.

"Madam Pomfrey says that you can hear me. She said that if we talked to you it might make you want to come back to us. So, here goes. I'm scared. I don't want you to die and I sure as hell don't want you to have brain damage. I want you to come back exactly as you were. I want to see your smile again. I want to see your beautiful eyes and I want you to see me. I want to hear you ask me out again. I've actually missed that. But that could be because I want the chance to say 'yes'. So, please, come back. If not for me, then come back for Sirius and Remus and Peter and your parents. Come back for everyone that cares about you. Please, come back exactly how you were before those Bludgers hit you. I don't want to lose you, James." Fresh tears over came Lily. She put her head back down on the edge of the bed. Great sobs shook her entire body. She couldn't breathe but she didn't care. All she wanted was for James to come back. She needed him to come back.

…

_I'm scared…_

James could hear. He could someone talking to him. But who? He couldn't pick the voice. It was a girl. She sounded sad but he didn't know why. Then it hit him. _Lily._ Beautiful Lily was talking to him. Confessing to him.

_I want to hear you ask me out again…_

It couldn't be Lily. She didn't want that. Or maybe she did. It was her. It had to be.

_I don't want to lose you, James…_

He liked how his name sounded when she said it. It sounded good. What was that noise? Crying, someone was crying. _Lily._ She was crying for him. He felt a slight pressure on the bed next to his arm. Her head was there. James slowly forced his eyes to open. Lily was hunched over next to him. Sobs shook her small frame and she couldn't breathe properly. James concentrated very hard and managed to move his hand. It was only a slight movement but it took all his effort. Lily didn't notice. James closed his eyes and breather in. he concentrated even hard and lifted his hand. He placed it gently on Lily's exposed arm. Lily bolted up and stared at him with a tear stained face.

"James?" James swallowed and smiled at her. "Oh my god, James!"

"Shh," James whispered. Lily fell silent and stared at him, waiting for him to speak. It took an incredible amount of effort but he managed. "Lily… I could hear… you… talking to me. I heard… everything." At this Lily bit her lip and blushed. James smiled again. "I'm… fine. I'm all here. If you think… that a Bludger… can kill… me… you're… wrong. Takes more… than that… to kill… a… Potter. You… aren't going… to lose me. I'm not… going… anywhere. I'm glad… you think… that I have… beautiful eyes. So do you. I have to… ask you… something. Lily… do you… want to… go to… the… Christmas Ball with… me?"

Lily answered without hesitation. "Yes, I would love to." Lily smiled and kissed James cheek lightly. When she straightened up, she smiled again.

"Madam Pomfrey!"


	10. The Christmas Ball

_James healed better than anyone had expected. Many, Madam Pomfrey included, believed that this was due to Lily sitting with him every day until he was allowed to leave. Lily wasn't the only one to visit him, of course. The other Marauders were there whenever Lily wasn't. This was quite a lot of time, for which the boys were thankful. No one knew what went on in the Hospital Wing when Lily was in there, though many desperately wanted to know. What actually happened were several harmless conversations. Once James was discharged from the infirmary, he and Lily still spent a lot of time together around the grounds and the castle simply having conversations. It didn't seem as though they were dating and, technically, they weren't. Very soon though they were busy planning the Christmas Ball. Christmas Day dawned bright and clear…_

Lily woke to the sound of screaming. The other girls were awake and screaming hysterically at the size of the present piles. Lily sat up groggy but smiling widely. She had always loved Christmas. Her favourite part was simply being with friends and the food. Presents came after both. Lily crawled to the end of her bed, with a blanket wrapped around her to fight off the sudden cold, and began to attack her pile of presents. Lily was only mildly surprised to find presents from Sirius and  
Peter. As she went through the pile, however, Lily became more and more worried as a present from James didn't surface. Eventually she got to the bottom of the pile and found a small gift. Lily opened the card first:

 

_My dearest Lily,_   
_Happy Christmas!_   
_Hope you like my gift._   
_Please wear it, even if you don't._

_Love, James_

Lily's smile widened as she read the note. She especially loved the " _Love, James_ " bit. Lily ripped the bright paper off to reveal a small plain looking box. Inside the box Lily found the most beautiful necklace. At the end of a silver chain was a magnificent silver lion encrusted with bright rubies. Lily carefully lifted the necklace out of the box and admired it in the light. The light played across the lion making it seem as though it were running. Lily absolutely loved it. She raced over to the mirror and placed the necklace carefully around her neck. Lily didn't look at it until she had managed to fasten the clasp at the back of her neck. Once she had Lily looked up and smiled. The necklace sat just below her collarbone. The rubies stood out against her pale skin and it looked incredibly beautiful sitting there.

Lily hoped that James liked his gift.

…

James woke to being jumped on by a very heavy object, which turned out to be Sirius. James groaned and punched Sirius' arm until he got off him. Sirius laughed and jumped off him only to go over to wake Remus. James sat up slowly to see Peter already awake and Remus pushing Sirius away. James pushed his glasses onto his face and winced as the arms brushed against his temples. Although there were no injuries anymore it still hurt occasionally. James turned his attention to his pile of presents. James loved opening the presents but his favourite part of the holiday was being with those he cared about and all the food. Sirius jumped back into his own bed and began ripping the paper off his gifts with gusto. The other boys began to open theirs with enthusiasm just not as much as the overzealous Sirius. Sirius and Peter weren't at all surprised to find a gift from Lily amongst their presents. James, however, was having trouble finding his gift from Lily.

Finally, at the very bottom, James found a large red wrapped gift. He opened the card first.

  
_My Dearest James,_   
_Merry Christmas!_   
_I hope you like your gift._

_Yours always, Lily_   
_xoxo_

James grinned at the card. He loved that Lily had said that she was always his. James ripped the paper off the gift to reveal a beautiful leather box. James undid the bronze clasps and lifted the heavy lid. Inside he found the most perfect broom servicing kit. There was also a book in there filled with new Quidditch manoeuvres, which James was eager to try out. James just happened to look at the inside of the lid and found an inscription.

 

_The greatest results in life are usually attained by simple means and the exercise_   
_of ordinary qualities. These may for the most part be summed in these two:_   
_common-sense and perseverance._   
_Owen Feltham_

_Merry Christmas, James_

_Yours always, Lily_   
_xoxo_

James smiled at the quote from the English author. And at what Lily had written. He sincerely hoped she was wearing the necklace.

…

As always on Christmas morning at Hogwarts, the word 'thanks' was in over use. James was delighted to see Lily wearing the necklace and was pleased at how well it looked resting against her chest. James and Lily sat next to each other.

"Did you actually think that I wouldn't like this?" Lily touched the necklace lightly with her index finger.

"No, but I'm very insecure." James whispered back to her. James blushed slightly when Lily smiled brightly at him. "I love the servicing kit." Lily sighed in relief. "I lost mine a while back. And you remembered what I told you."

"Whatever do you mean?" Lily feigned innocence. James merely raised his eyebrows at her. "Oh, okay. Yeah, I remembered you said that you liked Own Feltham's quotes. I liked that one as well so I used it. I tried to think of something on my own but it didn't go so well. Thank you for this." Lily touched the lion again.

"No problem, Lils. And thanks for the kit and the book." Lily positively beamed in response. James decided that he liked making Lily smile like that. He hoped that he would be able to get that kind of response from her for years to come.

…

Lily and the other seventh year Gryffindor girls began getting ready for the Ball after lunch at the insistence of Mary and Julie. Alice wasn't too fussed about the whole think because her boyfriend, Frank, wasn't there as he'd graduated the year before. Lily was simply nervous. Her friends knew that she was going with James and so they paid extra attention to making her get ready.

Lily took her time in the shower. She washed her hair twice and shaved her legs three times, just to be sure. Once all the hygienic things were done Lily stood underneath the stream of hot water and let it run down her back. The water helped Lily to calm her nerves and eased out the tension in her shoulders and back. Lily knew that the Marauders were in the Head dormitories getting ready. Or sitting around waiting to get ready. Lily lathered herself with soap again and let the water wash it away. Once she could find nothing more to do, Lily turned off the water, dried herself off, and re-entered the dorm. Alice, Mary and Julie were already showered, as the bathroom held four showers, and they were currently painting their nails. Lily was quickly forced into a chair and sat patiently as her finger and toe nails were painted as pale pink colour. Lily tried to focus on relaxing and tried desperately not to think about James and the up-coming Ball. Once her nails were dry, Julie blacked out the mirror so that Lily couldn't see what they were doing to her hair and face. The three girls had already managed to do each other's hair and make-up. Lily almost fell asleep sitting in the chair, she was that relaxed. As soon as they were finished they handed Lily what appeared to be a scrap of white material, but which actually turned out to be a dress. Lily put the dress on and was pushed in front of the mirror. Mary, who was an absolute genius, had designed and made all the girl's dresses and so none of them had seen their dresses, let alone ever worn them.

"Alright, Lil, open your eyes."

Lily cautiously opened her eyes and stared at the person in the mirror. There was no way in hell that it could actually be her. Her red hair had been curled and pulled off her face by a silver circlet studded with diamonds. Small strands of her hair still hung down though beautifully framing her face. Lily's make-up was very subtle as only neutral tones had been used. Despite this, Lily's emerald green eyes stood out more than they normally did. Lily's cheeks had been brightened using a light pink blusher and her lips had been painted a dull red. Around her neck Lily wore the necklace that James had given her only that morning. Lily's white dress was Grecian style and floor length. The dress had elegant sleeves that were each split in two. The dress was tightly gathered across her chest. Just beneath the gathered section was a band of darker material inlaid with what appeared to be diamonds. From there the dress was free flowing, though it still showed off the curve of Lily's waist. The material was soft against Lily's skin and she absolutely loved it, but she was still having trouble believing that the girl in the mirror was actually her. On her feet, Lily wore silver high-heels which she was trying to get used to. Lily turned to Mary and threw her arms around the girl's neck.

"Thank you!"

…

James sat on the lounge, staring into the fire. He had butterflies in his stomach. He was sweating slightly. And all because in about an hour he would go down to the Great Hall to meet Lily. Remus and Peter were playing chess and Sirius sat in an arm chair brooding silently because of the 'welcoming' he'd gotten from Salazar Slytherin. James ignored all of them and concentrated on breathing. He'd come close to hyperventilating three times now and he was determined not for it to happen again. Though chances were it would. James saw Remus glance up at him. James closed his eyes and leaned his head back. This was also the wrong thing to do. As soon as his eyes were closed images of Lily leapt into his head. Although the images weren't exactly unwelcome they didn't help with his nerves.

"So, Black, tell me. Do you like disgracing your family?" James' eyes fluttered open and quickly settled on Sirius. Sirius growled but kept his eyes firmly on the fireplace. "Do you enjoy disgracing your family's name? Hmm? Is it fun for you to watch them burn with humiliation as you flounce around with those three?"

Sirius leapt to his feet and stood in front of the gigantic portrait. "For your information, my family is a bunch of sadistic bastards who want nothing more than to see me fail. And I want nothing more than to see each and every one of them burn, literally. I'm glad to be shot of the whole lot of them. And these three are the best friends I could ever ask for. So, please, if you don't mind, could you just shut the hell up? Thanks very much." Sirius was breathing very heavily and was having trouble keeping his hands steady.

"How nice for you. However, surely your family can't be so sadistic if you're still alive. And if you're friends are still breathing."

"Hey, Salazar, guess what?" James stood next to Sirius. "You're an arse." With that eloquent and imaginative insult said James took hold of Sirius' arm and guided him back to his seat. "Ignore him. He likes annoying everything that's actually still alive." James sat down in his armchair and resumed his study of the fireplace.

Finally, James decided that he'd better get ready and escaped up to his dorm room. The other three were going to get ready after he did. James took his time getting ready, however, so that he'd have something to concentrate on besides the warm glow of the fire, which had became boring. Once James had finished preening and dressing he resumed his seat and occupation of fire watcher. James put his head back against the chair. Images of Lily once again came to mind…

"James! Come on, mate. Time to go." James sat up slowly. Remus smiled kindly at him and tapped his watch.

"Right, right." James got to his feet and stretched his muscles before following his fellow Marauders out the door and down to the Great Hall. James felt like an absolute idiot standing there and staring up at the stairs like a lost puppy. Suddenly the most beautiful girl he'd ever seen appeared. She was wearing a long white dress and her hair was red and it was… Lily.

…

Lily didn't see James at first. But when she did, she couldn't help but laugh. James was staring up at her with a big cheesy grin plastered on his face. It was then that Lily noticed he wasn't the only one staring up at her. Everyone was looking at her, even the Slytherins. Lily dipped her head so that they wouldn't be able to see her blushing. Lily made her way down the stairs to James. Over his shoulder Lily could see Severus standing back in the shadows watching her. Lily held her head high and smiled brightly at James. She could hear whispers springing up everywhere.

"Hi."

"Hi." James' voice squeaked slightly. Lily laughed at him lightly and James seemed to relax. He cleared his throat and grinned. "Hello. You look… amazing. And you're wearing the necklace. Oh, this is for you. It's a bit cheesy, you don't have to wear it, if you don't want." James held out a white box with a gold ribbon on top. Lily opened the box and saw a beautiful corsage with a red rose.

"Oh, James, it's beautiful. Thank you, I love it. Will you help me put it on?" James smiled and took the corsage out of the box and placed it gently around Lily's right wrist.

"It looks good. Come on, let's go in."

…

The Great Hall had been decorated beautifully. Lily, who had been in charge of the decorations, had done a brilliant job. The customary twelve Christmas trees were still there and so were the other usual decorations but things had been added to the Hall and the trees to make it look even better. Strung up between each of the Christmas trees was a garland of white tinsel interspersed with twinkling fairy lights. The decorations hanging on the trees represented each of the four houses evenly along with pure white decorations. Tables and chairs were set up as well for when the students had dinner and also if they didn't particularly feel like dancing. In regular intersections along the wall small alcoves had been created to give people some privacy. However, Professors McGonagall and Slughorn checked the alcoves every so often. There was a large section of the floor that had been designated as the dance floor and the DJ was set up on the platform where the Professor's table usually was. Fake snow fell from the enchanted ceiling but dissipated very quickly so as not to ruin anything. All in all, the Hall looked amazing.

Whispers followed Lily and James the entire night. Many were wondering if it was an actual date or if it was merely because they were Head Boy and Girl. It was, of course, the former but very few were sure. No one, however, could deny that the two of them looked good together and even Professor McGonagall was heard to mutter _"Well, it's about time"._ Professor Dumbledore nodded sagely when she said this. People were trying to figure out what had happened between the two of them which caused Lily to go from hating to dating to Potter. Many, like McGonagall, were of the belief that it was about time, while many, many others, depending on their gender, wanted to rip either one of their throats out. And then there were those, mostly Slytherins, who couldn't have cared less.

James and Lily were apparently completely oblivious to the whispers and stares they were getting, so wrapped up were they in their own personal world. They did know that the whispering was about them but they paid it no mind. They were largely inseparable for the whole night and they seemed entirely at peace in each other's arms.

Towards the end of the night, James and Lily escaped the stares and the whispers by going outside into the grounds. The grounds, like the Hall, had been decorated beautifully. The courtyard was lit up by thousands of tinny lights and the fountain was practically glowing, thanks to difficult charm. Garlands hanging everywhere and there were several Christmas trees dotted around the place. There were a few places where people could sit and they wouldn't be seen from the doors of the castle but teachers were still patrolling and seemed to enjoy docking points of the students they found. James and Lily found one such area and sat down on the marble bench. For a long time neither of them spoke until James saw Lily shivering in her ridiculously thin dress. James shrugged off his dress robe and draped it around Lily's shoulders.

"Thanks." Lily smiled up at him and James laughed when he heard her teeth chattering. "It's Mary's fault. She designed the stupid, flimsy thing."

"Well, even if it is thin, you still look beautiful." James grinned when Lily gave him _that_ smile.

"Thanks. For everything. I've had fun."

"The night's not over yet, Lil."

"Yeah, I know," Lily stammered. "But I just mean that I've had fun… so far."

James cocked an eyebrow at her. "So, you're not going to have any more fun, then?"

"Well, yes, I just… Shut up, James." Lily hit James' arm playfully.

"Ouch, geez, Lil, go easy on me. I've only just healed." James rubbed his arm and put a mock hurt voice.

"Oh, I am so sorry." Lily looked at James with puppy dog eyes and then hit him again. "Baby."

James laughed at her. "Alright, alright. I'm glad you've had fun… so far." Lily smirked and they fell into a comfortable silence. After a while, Lily leaned her head against James and he put his arm around her. They sat like that for a long time before Lily broke the silence.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Technically, you just did." Lily poked his side, hard, and James laughed. "Okay, okay. You can ask me anything, Lily."

"Kay." Lily fell silent and James waited patiently for her to speak. "Why me? I know that's kinda clichéd but I want to know. Remus said that it might've had something to do with the fact that I was the first girl to turn you down and that you really liked me. This was about two months after you first asked me."

"He was right, as he usually is."

"Yes, but why did you like me?"

"Lily, I still like you. A lot. That hasn't changed and I don't think it's going to anytime soon." James took a deep breath and gently lifted Lily's chin so that he could see her eyes. "I like you because of who you are. You're smart and funny and beautiful and amazing and you managed to with hold the Potter charm for a whole year. I have never met anyone like you. You're incredible and I don't deserve you. Every second I'm with you I can't look away. And whenever, I'm not with you I can't stop thinking about you. Lily, I love you. I don't know when…"

James was cut off abruptly when Lily pressed her lips against his. James was taken by surprise at first but once he realised what was happening he kissed her back. Lily pulled away first.

"I love you too, James."


	11. Proposal

_As their final year passed, James and Lily became increasingly closer than most school romances ever did. Everyone, even a begrudging Snape, had to admit that they weren't just school sweet hearts and that they would probably end up spending the rest of their lives together. Some were upset by this, though those people were mainly the ones who wanted to be with one of them. James and Lily were happy and in love and that was all that mattered to them. They didn't care about anything that anyone else said to them. In their eyes so long as the two of them, their families and their friends were happy, the rest of the world could shove it. James was so over the moon about everything that, for a time, his grades slipped but Lily and Professor McGonagall managed to wake him up by threatening to stop him from playing Quidditch. Towards the end of the year, right before their NEWT exams, James woke up one morning with his mind set. All he had to do was talk to a couple of people first…_

James was quiet during breakfast that morning and Lily wasn't the only one who noticed and who was slightly worried. Sirius and Remus shared a look before turning to Lily, who merely shrugged at them. None of them said anything, partly because they knew he wouldn't answer them but also because he looked so… strange. All through the morning classes James was silent and actually did the work he was set without making any smart-arsed comments. The teachers picked up on it but they chose not to say anything for the same reasons as Lily and the boys. Finally, Sirius and Remus got the chance to speak to James alone when Lily had Care of Magical Creatures and they had a free hour. The four of them were sitting in a circle on the floor of the Gryffindor boy's dorm room because the library had been weirdly noisy. Sirius elbowed Remus in the ribs.

"Ahh, James, we were wondering, is everything okay?" Remus stammered out.

James seemed a little confused at first but then he understood what had been said. "Yeah, I'm fine. I'm just having some trouble writing this damn letter."

"You're worried about a letter? Who's it to?"

"No-one. Listen, I wanted to talk to you guys about something." James took a steadying breath and then, with his eyes focused on the floor, spoke very quickly. "I've decided, just this morning, to do something that I really want to and even if you guys don't think I should I'm going to because I want to and I'm gonna ask Lily to marry me and there's nothing you can do about it."

A stunned silence followed James proclamation as the three boys tried to figure out what he'd actually said. James glanced up at them but quickly looked down again.

"You want to propose to Lily?" Remus said slowly. James nodded without looking up. "And the letter?"

"I want to ask Lily's parents for permission." James spoke meekly. He looked up and saw that Remus looked very happy, Peter seemed slightly confused, and, as expected, Sirius was simply staring.

"Well, I think it's brilliant, James." Remus smiled kindly at him. "And I'm sure that Jack and Rose will give you permission. No matter what you write in the letter. Congratulations, Prongs."

"I hope she says 'yes'. She hasn't been saying that to you for long." Peter said.

"Thanks, Wormy. I think." James smiled at Peter's way of congratulations. He then turned to Sirius who wasn't looking at him. James glanced at Remus, who nodded.

"Come on, Pete. I need something from the library." Thankfully Peter got the message and the two of them left.

"Sirius?" James spoke softly. Sirius sighed and looked up. "Mate, you're my best mate and I want you to be okay with this. I want you to be happy for me."

"I am happy for you, James. I just… I don't know. Don't you think that you're moving a bit quickly? You've only been dating since Christmas."

"I know but I love her and she loves me. What more do we need?" James watched as Sirius closed his eyes and took several deep breaths. "Unless you know some reason why I shouldn't marry her? Padfoot?"

"No, of course not." Sirius ran a hand through his hair and stood up. Sirius went over to the window and leant against the frame. James stood as well but remained rooted to the spot. "It's just that for years, you were so broken up because Lily refused to go out with you. She finally agrees to go out with you only a few months ago and now you want to propose. I know you love her, mate, but are you sure that you're not moving too fast?" Sirius fell quiet and kept looking out the window.

"Yes, I'm sure. There's a war going on and I don't think that I'm going to see the end of it. I know you think I will, you think we all will, but deep down you know that one, if not all of us, won't make it. And I don't want to die without having married her. I don't want to die at all of course, but I especially don't want to die without having been with her as more than just boyfriend/girlfriend. Why can't you understand that?"

Sirius spun around and glared at him. "I do understand it. I get it, Prongs, you want to be with her. You want to be able to finally call her your wife. And, you're right, we won't survive to see the fucking end. None of us will. Wormy won't because, let's face it, he won't know what to do without the three of us. Moony won't because he's a werewolf. And as for you and me, hell, we won't live because we'll be too busy protecting everyone we care about to even think about ourselves. So, don't tell me that I don't get it. I know what it's like to not want to die without having done everything you wanted to do. There's so much crap that I wanna do but I know that I'm never going to have the chance." Sirius sat down on his bed heavily and buried his face in his hands. James stood chewing his lip for a minute before sitting down with a sigh. "Don't lecture me. Please, James. I don't want to hear it. If you want to marry Lily now then I'll be okay with it. And I'm not just saying it. I mean it. I'm okay with it and I'm happy for you. Now, she just has to say 'yes'. Good luck with that, by the way." Sirius smirked at him but looked away too quickly for James' liking. There was a terrible sadness in Sirius' eyes, not to mention in the way that he was holding himself.

"Thanks, Paddy. And I'm not going to lecture you, that's Moony's job. I just… I don't know. I'm sorry for what I said. But you know, I reckon there's still time to do some… how'd you put it… crap?" Sirius muffled a laugh. "Unless, the crap you want to do, can't be done?"

Sirius let out a great sigh. "It's Regulus. I mean, what else is new, right? It's always Reg. He's going to join them and there's nothing I can do."

"Maybe, just maybe, you need to let him decide for himself. Give him the facts without forcing your own opinions on him. At least, that's what Moony and Lils would say."

"Maybe you're right. I don't know." Sirius ran a hand over his face and then seemed to pull himself together. "So what have you written in that letter so far."

James smiled and picked up the piece of parchment he'd been writing on. "' _Dear Mr and Mrs Evans, I hope this letter finds you well.'_ That's all I've got."

Sirius laughed and took the parchment. "Pathetic. First of all, they've told you time and again to use their first names. Maybe you should start there." He handed back the parchment and placed a hand on James shoulder. "They'll give you permission, mate. For some twisted reason they actually like you."

"Thanks a bunch, Padfoot. Any other bright ideas?"

"Nope. You're on your own for that. Ask Moony, he'll come up with something good. I'm happy for you, mate. And I do hope that she agrees."

"Thanks."

…

"He's fine, Lily." Remus whispered.

Remus and Lily were sitting together in their Ancient Runes class. Lily has asked Remus what was wrong with James and it was blindingly obvious that she didn't believe his answer.

"Come on, Remy, please." Lily clutched his arm and squeezed lightly. "I'm worried about him. He's been quiet and distant all day. I've never seen him like this."

"I have." Remus muttered. He hadn't meant for Lily to hear him.

"You have? When?"

Remus sighed but decided that he may as well answer. "When you kept refusing him."

"Oh. But I haven't refused anything." Lily said. Remus smirked and cocked an eyebrow at her. "What? Oh, you're worse than Sirius." Lily had turned bright red. She ducked her head as Remus laughed at her.

"Something funny, Mr Lupin?" Professor Babbling asked.

"No, Professor, sorry." Babbling nodded and continued with the revision lesson. "Honestly, Lil, he's just worried about… exams." Remus wasn't entirely sure if she would buy it. Lily seemed to consider it for a minute before nodding and returning her attention to the lesson. Remus sighed and relief and made a mental note to tell James that Lily was worrying about him.

…

_Dear Jack and Rose,_

_I hope that this letter finds you healthy and happy. No doubt you won't be surprised to hear that Lily is making sure that we are all studying long and hard. I'm not sure if she's already told you but on top of studying and her Head duties, Lily is helping several other seventh year students, including my friend Peter, to study for their exams._

_I wish that I was able to discuss what's in this letter with you in person but I'm a fairly impatient kind of person and I couldn't wait for the holidays._

_As I'm sure Lily has told you, I've been in love with your daughter for years. And, despite the constant rejections, I never gave up on asking her to go out with me. She was of the belief that I was an 'arrogant toe-rag'. I can assure you that I'm really not. Something tells me that you both know of some of my past exploits, as I call them. These exploits were my attempt to get Lily to notice me, but in the end they just made things worse. I don't like hurting people and I have never intentionally done so. The pranks that my friends and I pull are harmless fun, though Lily didn't always see it that way. However, times have changed and she has actually helped us with some of our more elaborate stunts, but she has never gotten in trouble for them. She's much too clever for that, as I'm sure you're aware._

_Once I have graduated Hogwarts I plan to become an Auror, which means that, along with Remus and Sirius, I will be hunting down Dark wizards and witches and thereby protecting everyone I care for, which does, of course, include your daughter. My parents have decided that should I manage to become an Auror they will buy me an apartment in London, though I do have enough money to buy one on my own. It's kind of a tradition in my family to buy something massive for someone who achieves their dream career. It may sound somewhat strange but its tradition and I get a free apartment out of it. I have enough money to support myself and those I care for and enough to buy anything and everything that is needed for the apartment and that includes bills._

_The reason that I'm writing to you is to ask you for your permission and blessing to marry Lily. I know that we're only seventeen and if you don't want me to propose to her while we're still so young I will understand, though I'm not entirely sure if that will stop me, and I apologise in advance if that's the case. I can promise you that I will look after Lily for as long as I live, no matter what happens. I have always and will always love her with my whole heart, which she stole from me a long time ago. Everything I own is for her. I want to spend the rest of my life with her and I swear that I will never hurt her and I will protect her with everything I've got. There is nothing that I wouldn't do for her. Please give me your blessing and permission to marry your daughter._

_Yours Sincerely,_

_James David Potter_

…

In the end, James had written the letter without help and he was quite pleased with the end result. Remus had offered to read it once he was finished to check everything, but James politely refused. Once he had sent the letter it was an anxious wait for the reply. Every morning at breakfast James would look up to search the flock of incoming owls for his own, desperately hoping for the letter and permission. The engagement ring he had bought with his mother's help was hidden in Remus' trunk, waiting the day when it was needed. James' thoughts constantly turned to the simple yet elegant ring in its plain box.

It took a whole week after James had sent the letter for him to receive the reply. When his owl landed he quickly grabbed the letter before Lily had a chance to look at. Sirius gave James an encouraging smirk and nodded towards the doors with a question on his face. _You wanna get out of here?_ James nodded in response and watched as Sirius got to his feet and climbed up onto the table.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, boys and girls, come one, come all, and see the Amazing Sexy Sirius perform death defying acts!" As Sirius continued his announcement and performance James snuck out of the Great Hall and into the Head dormitories to read the letter.

…

_Dear James,_

_Firstly, we would like to say that was nice to get a letter from you and apologise for taking so long to reply to it. No doubt you've been losing sleep over this. I want to explain that it only took so long because we wanted to get the wording right so that everything we want to say is clear and concise._

_I want to thank you for asking us permission. Vernon did no such thing and perhaps it would have been better if he had, mainly because we wouldn't have given them our blessing. One day when you're a parent, you will understand why it is so important to us to be a part of our children's lives, especially when it comes to making big decisions, such as marriage. The fact that you took the time and effort to write such a lovely letter to us means a lot._

_Lily has always been our favourite. We know that parents shouldn't have a favourite but there it is. Lily is our favourite and the youngest and is therefore still our baby girl and she always will be. When we found out that Lily was a witch somehow we knew that we would lose her to magic, and we have in some small way. Although she will always be our daughter there are just some things that she won't be able to talk to us about because we won't understand. When she got that letter we hoped and prayed that she would meet and make friends with people who would be able to explain things to her and help her whenever she needed. This isn't to say that we aren't proud of her or that we aren't happy for her. We are incredibly proud of her and we wouldn't want her to be anything else than everything she is._

_When she came home from Hogwarts that first Christmas, it was obvious that in the space of a few short months we had already lost her. She was full of such wonder and enthusiasm for this new world and we knew in that minute that we were the only things tying her to this, our, world. We are by no means sorry for that. That Christmas Lily told us about everyone she had met, including you and your friends. Lily didn't really like you from the get go, but you probably know that. She told us that you were the most irresponsible and immature boy she had ever met and that she couldn't ever be friends with you, let alone date you. Yet somehow we both knew then. The way she talked about you, the way she looked when she spoke of you, her very manner betrayed her that very first Christmas. Every letter she sent home mentioned you. Every time she came home for the holidays she talked about you. She very rarely used the nicest terms, but she did say that you were a very good wizard and that didn't actually come as a surprise to her. It seemed that as the months and years passed Lily talked more and more about you. And each time she did, the name calling and the insults became less frequent and the compliments and adorations grew._

_You wrote that you have loved Lily for years and, from our perspective (though Lily will probably deny it) she has loved you for as long as you have her. And nothing has ever or will ever change that. And we don't want it to. James, our daughter is a very bright and strong young woman. She knows exactly what she wants out of life and we have no doubt that she will get it. Lily is free to do as she pleases and all that we ask of her is that she keeps herself safe and remains in contact with us. We have never asked anything else of her and we never will. All that we want out of life is to see both our daughters happy, healthy and loved. It would appear that Petunia is at least healthy and loved. Lily, on the other hand, is happy, healthy and loved. We could not ask for anything more and we have you, James, to thank for that._

_Although you and Lily are still very young and have your whole lives to look forward to we know that both of you see each other in that future. You have given our daughter everything she has ever asked for and we are sure that you will continue to do so, even if it hurts you. And so it is with great joy and sadness, that we give you our permission and blessing to ask Lily to marry you._

_We ask for one thing in return, however. We are not as ignorant of the Wizarding World as Lily would like us to be. We are fully aware of the war that is going on and we know that, unfortunately, Lily has decided that she will fight this Dark Wizard and his followers. We ask that you keep our daughter safe throughout this war and that you make sure she doesn't do anything reckless._

_Your future in-laws,_

_Jack and Rose Evans_

…

James finished reading the letter and closed his eyes. He had their permission and Lily had loved him for years. James couldn't have been happier. All he had to do now was actually pop the question.

…

Lily walked out of her very last exam, Ancient Runes, and heaved a great sigh of relief. Next to her Remus was looking the same way that she felt. Incredibly happy and relieved. The Ancient Runes exam had been harder than either of them had anticipated but both believed that they had done reasonably well. Without saying a word both of them headed out into the grounds and the beautiful sunshine. Most of the students were milling around outside as they were experiencing some of the best weather they'd seen for a long time. The sun was out, the birds were singing, no one was fighting or mourning, and everyone was happy. Remus and Lily made their way over to where James, Sirius and Peter were sitting amidst the roots of a large tree. Though Sirius was actually sitting up in the branches of the tree. Every so often he would yell out an insult to one of the Slytherins, who either didn't hear him or ignored him. The latter was the more likely option.

When they reached the tree James stood up. "How was the exam?"

"Horrible." Remus sat down heavily and threw his bag to the side in disgust. "Glad the stupid thing is over."

"It was fine. He's just upset because he hadn't studied one of the languages." Lily laughed. Remus shot her a dirty look and then smiled.

"True but that's his fault." Remus jerked his thumb at Sirius. "He hid those notes."

"Did not. Hey, Mulciber, you stink!"

"Lily, come for a walk." James took Lily's hand gently in his and strode off. James glanced back at his friends who all smiled in encouragement and gave him the thumbs up. Lily followed along, hoping that everything was okay. When James began to go into the Forbidden Forest, however, Lily yanked her hand out of his.

"James, we can't go in there."

"Why not? I go in all the time."

"Yes, I know, but…"

"We'll be fine, Lils. Trust me." James took Lily's hand again and continued walking. The two of them walked for some time until they reached a beautiful glade which was filled with sunshine giving it an ethereal quality. James let go of his Lily's hand and walked away from her. He was breathing slowly and deeply in an attempt to calm his nerves. Lily, for her part, stood still and silent, watching him closely. Finally he turned around and walked over to her. He reached out and took her bag off her shoulder, placed it on the ground, and held both of her hands.

"James, what's going on? You're scaring me."

"I want to show you something. But first, conjure your Patronus."

"Ok-ay." Lily took out her wand and brought forth the silvery doe. James smiled and took out his wand. An incredible silver stag came forth. "But I thought you Patronus was a…"

"Swan? Nope. I don't know what happened when we had that Charms duel. No, this is my actual Patronus. See that, Lil? Yours is a doe, mine's a stag. Always has been, just like yours has always been a doe, right?" Lily nodded but stayed silent. She wasn't sure where James was going this. "You managed to produce a corporeal Patronus before me. You did that before I got my Animagus form, which is a stag. It's always been that way. The Stag and the Doe. Me and you. I don't generally believe in fate and destiny and all that crap, but even I couldn't deny that we've always been meant for each other." James fell silent and the stag slowly disappeared. Lily allowed the doe to disappear as well and stowed her wand in her robes. James put his in his pocket and waited.

"I… well, yes, I suppose you're right. Though I've never actually thought about it before. James, please, you're still kind of scaring me."

"Sorry, I don't mean too. I'm just a little… wound up, is all." James turned away again and began breathing in a very deliberate way. He turned around again, took Lily's hands, and launched into his speech.

"Lily, I have loved you for longer than you know. I just never realised it before fifth year, and I wish to Merlin that I had. Everything I did, the rule breaking, the pranks, it was all to get your attention because I loved you. I just didn't know it then. And once I did realise I prayed every night that you would go out with me, even if it was just the one date. All I've ever wanted from you is for you to say 'yes'. And when you finally did, I could hardly believe it. I thought that I was still slightly concussed and that's why I had to ask you again just to be sure. I still can't believe you said it. Sometimes I wake up in the morning and it feels as though all of this has been the most amazing dream. But then I see you when I go downstairs or I feel you next to me in bed and it hits me. Every single day it hits me that I'm lucky and that I'm blessed. I don't know what I did to deserve you but whatever it was I'm glad that I did it. I've never been this happy and worried at the same time.

"I'm happy because you finally love me back. And I'm worried that one day either you'll stop loving me or someone will take you away from me. And I won't let either of those things happen. I don't know what I'd do if you left me, but I know damn well what I'd do if you were forcefully and suddenly taken from me. But I don't want to think about that. Lily, everything that I have is yours. Everything I can give you, I will. Whatever you ask for, I'll go to the ends of the earth to get it for you. There is nothing that I wouldn't do for you, even if, ultimately, it hurts me to do it. I can't imagine my life without you in it and I don't want to try. I love you more than I can put into words. I know that you don't need someone to care for you and look after you, but I will. I'll care for you, I'll look after you, I'll provide for you until the day I die. And believe me I'll be first. Because I'll be damned if I let you die before me. Lily Rose Evans, will you do me the great honour of marrying me?"

James then pulled a plain box out his pocket and opened it to reveal the most elegant and simplistic ring that Lily had ever seen and dropped down on one knee. The ring was a simple band of gold with a large princess cut diamond resting on top. Thin straps of gold held the diamond in place. Lily looked into James' hazel eyes and dropped to her knees in front of him.

"James David Potter," Lily was struggling to keep her tears at bay. "You have given me so much over the past few months and I could think of no better way to spend the rest of my life than with you. I love you so much that sometimes it hurts when I'm not with you. I don't know what I would do without my great protector. So, my answer is yes."

James slipped the ring onto Lily's finger and as the dying rays of the sun hit the beautiful glade, the two lovers embraced.


	12. Once

_James and Lily didn't announce their engagement to anyone, but close friends and family. But by the time they graduated Hogwarts the entire school had found out, as is the way of Hogwarts. Most people were happy for the couple and congratulated them. Only a few of their fellow students weren't happy, but those people didn't count. James and Lily were happy and nothing else mattered to them. True to their word, James' parents bought him an apartment in London, and Lily moved in with him a few weeks later, after a getting a job so that she could pay her own way. As James, Sirius and Remus began learning how to be an Auror, Lily worked at Flourish and Blotts in Diagon Alley while trying to chose a career. Meanwhile, the war had intensified with Dumbledore creating the Order of the Phoenix, of which James, Lily, Sirius, Remus and Peter were all members. The war was no longer about subtle attacks on Muggles and Muggle borns. Attacks were no being done out in the open in perfect view of Muggles. The Order was mostly about stopping these attacks before they happened bur often they were unable to do so because they didn't get the information in time. When attacks did occur the Order was always there, fighting back. So far the Order had lost several people, but the Death Eaters were losing many more and Voldemort, who was never present at these fights, was apparently very disappointed in his followers. And so he decided that he needed to be there in order to inflict more casualties on the 'enemy'…_

Screams filled the square and the smell of blood and death hung in the air. The fight was bloodier than anyone had ever encountered because the Dark Lord himself was there. Not many people had seen him before and those who had didn't normally live to tell the horrifying tale. The fighting had been going on for almost six hours now and everyone, Death Eater and Order members alike, were exhausted. No one wanted to keep fighting but no one was giving up. And so the fight went on.

James was fighting alongside Sirius and Remus, and in the distance he could see Lily, Alice and Frank fighting. Lily had a cut on her cheek but it didn't seem to be bothering her. James had a gash on his left arm and the pain was beginning to distract him. James only just managed to deflect a curse as a blinding pain shot up his arm. James groaned in pain and closed his eyes for a split second. When he opened them again, Sirius was furiously shooting off spells while Remus was leaning over him. Apparently he'd fainted from the pain. Remus healed the wound and pulled James to his feet. Sirius sent off a curse and turned to James.

"What the hell was that? I thought you'd been killed."

"Sorry, my arm." James tubbed his arm. "Thanks, Moony."

"No problem."

"Says you." Sirius shot James a mildly dirty look and the three of them resumed fighting.

…

Lily saw James fall but was prevented by getting to him by several Death Eaters who appeared to have taken a certain creepy interest in the redhead. Lily was only just managing to keep them at bay when she was slightly distracted by the sight of Remus pulling James to his feet. Lily felt herself get hit with a curse but as she didn't feel any different she assumed that the spell had worked properly and tried to keep fighting. It was only then that she realised that she couldn't lift her wand arm. They'd paralysed her arm. Lily stared in horror at her arm and tried to think of a way to fix it. Fortunately, Alice came to the rescue while Frank managed to remove the curse. Lily managed to mutter a 'thanks' before a blood-curdling scream rent the air. The scream was enough to stop everyone fighting to look for the source. Lily saw it first.

Lord Voldemort stood over the motionless body of a woman. The woman was quite clearly still alive but she refused to move. Voldemort stared down at the woman coldly and then smiled, though it wasn't exactly warm. Voldemort lifted his wand and, before anyone could interfere, he slashed his wand down towards the woman and a bright green light exploded from his wand. The light hit the woman and she convulsed violently before falling still. Voldemort then raised his bare foot and pushed the woman's face away from him. Lily recognised the woman. She was an Auror, and a mother to three beautiful children. And now she was gone. Just like that.

The fighting resumed faster than Lily would have liked. Lily couldn't take her eyes away from the empty shell that lay at Voldemort's feet. Unfortunately, he seemed to sense her watching. His cold, hard eyes lifted from the form at his feet and found Lily's. The red eyes took some hold of Lily, putting her into some kind of trance. She couldn't look away, though she desperately wanted to. Voldemort sneered at her and stepped over the woman's body. Lily's eyes widened when she realised that he was coming for her. He was going to kill her.

…

James had turned away from the sight while Lily had stood transfixed. He didn't want to see that, didn't need to. He was the first one to continue fighting and he would never regret that decision. James didn't relish in the fight like some. Next to him, Sirius was actually smiling. Probably because he'd realised who he was fighting. It was one of his many cousins and this one was particularly stupid. Remus wasn't enjoying the fight either. But that was due more to the fact that the full moon had been the previous night and he was still in pain. Technically, he shouldn't have been there but he didn't want to sit around while his friends fought. James was concentrating so hard that at first he didn't hear the anguished cry. But as it increased in volume he couldn't ignore it any longer. Not everyone could hear it though, and so none had gone to the aid of the victim. That was really the only reason James turned. To see if there was any chance that he would be able to help. What he saw took his breath away.

Voldemort stood, with a sneer on his face, watching the woman convulse horribly. Her red hair seemed to float around her head and she was emitting a cry that not many people seemed to be able to hear. Although some people were trying to help her, they were largely being held at bay by several Death Eaters who were greatly enjoying the spectacle. Alice and Frank were amongst those trying to help. James didn't see any of that. All he saw was Voldemort torturing the woman he loved. And that was all the incentive he needed.

James broke away from the Death Eaters he was fighting and began sprinting towards Lily. He didn't even think to Aparate. Sirius and Remus were hot on his heels. They reached the Death Eaters that were keeping everyone at bay and James loosed a powerful curse on them. Every single Death Eater that stood in his way was rendered entirely unconscious, but only long enough for him to get past them. As soon as he was, all of them rose to their feet and continued on as though nothing had happened. Thankfully, James hadn't used a Dark curse. On the flip side, he was alone. Sirius and Remus hadn't been fast enough and they had never managed to do that curse properly. Then again, James had never been able to either.

…

Fire. She was on fire. That was the only explanation she could think of. Through the burning haze, Lily could see Voldemort's face and nothing else. She was blinded by the pain coursing through her veins. She had never felt anything like this before and she truly believed that it would be the end of her. There was no way, in her mind, that she could ever survive this pain.

" _Lily!"_

It came to her as a dream. A voice shouting her name. Willing her to come back. There was fear in that voice. So much fear. But why would someone fear what had happened? She was already dead. How could they fear?

" _Lily!"_

There it was again. And this time she recognised the voice. _James._ It was James. Maybe she wasn't dead after all. Maybe she was just hoping she was so that she wouldn't have to feel the pain anymore. Who knew?

" _You want to save her? This filthy Mudblood?"_

A high, cold voice interrupted her musings. A voice Lily had never heard and yet she knew the owner. Who else could have such a voice? _Voldemort._ James wanted to save her. She wasn't dead.

The pain in her body reached an all new high and the scream that erupted from her lips hurt more than anything else. Whether it was the actual scream or the sound that did it, she wasn't sure, but it woke her up. She could see the somehow blue sky. She could see Voldemort standing over her, though he was looking at something else. Lily managed to turn her head slightly. It hurt like hell but it was worth it. She could see him. James. He was standing perhaps five feet away from her but he wasn't looking down. James was staring right into the monster's eyes. Lily wanted to scream at him _Don't look at his eyes!_ But she couldn't find her voice. There was a single tear rolling down his cheek. James thought she was dead.

…

_She's dead. He killed her._

James had nothing to live for now. Lily was gone. Everyone would understand his stupidity. There was no point in living without her and so he would fight Lord Voldemort. No one ever survived a fight with him. So how could Lily? How could he? There was no chance. And so, they fought. Curse after curse was thrown and deflected. The two combatants didn't notice the people around them, they didn't notice the people watching, they didn't notice the sky or the birds or the sounds. Nothing. There was nothing but each other and their desire to fight. There was nothing and no one around them.

Voldemort mercilessly aimed a curse at James which threw him to the ground and opened a large gash on his forehead. Blood spilled down over his eye and James gave up all together. He turned his face towards Lily's body and froze. She wasn't there. Or at least not in the same way. Lily was standing up and walking towards him. She knelt down next to him and smiled.

"I'm still here."

James thanked any god that would listen and allowed Lily to pull him up. James was incredibly unsteady on his feet but at least now the two of them would die together. Lily held onto James's arm tightly for fear that he would fall. They turned to face Lord Voldemort with no fear of him

"How sweet. The Mudblood and the Blood traitor. Potter and Evans. Standing together in defiance. It will do you no good. You are both going to die." Voldemort sneered.

"Doesn't matter." Lily managed. "At least we won't die as murderers."

"Doesn't matter? My dear, stupid Mudblood, it does matter. You are going to die. And I will make sure that you both die the most painful death that _I_ can imagine. You, Evans, will die first. How do you feel, Potter, knowing that you will see her die?"

"Do what you like to us." James said. "But you won't get the chance to kill us painfully. Didn't you ever learn that you shouldn't play with your food? Kill us now if you want."

"James?" Lily whispered afraid. James glanced down at her and winked. He winked!

"You won't fight?" Voldemort didn't understand how they could both be so calm.

"Nope. And you aren't going to kill us." Quick as a flash, James raised his wand and blinded Voldemort. "Aparate, Lils. But not far." Lily concentrated on a spot near Sirius and Remus and Aparated. Sirius and Remus quickly helped Lily to support the barely conscious James, while they watched Dumbledore step in front of Voldemort. James was the only one who had noticed the Headmaster's arrival and had used it to save them all.

Voldemort and Dumbledore fought for a long time before Voldemort gave in and beat a hasty retreat, his Death Eaters following shortly afterwards. As soon as they were all gone, James was gently lowered to the ground and checked. The gash on his head was still bleeding quite badly and Remus set about healing it. Lily walked away from the boys but Sirius was the only one who saw.

"Professor?" Dumbledore turned at the sound of Lily's voice.

"Ah, Miss Evans. How are you feeling?"

"Fine. Thank you, Albus." Lily didn't feel strange about using the Professor's first name and he didn't seem to mind.

"You are more than welcome, Lily. You were incredibly brave. Not many people would be able to withstand that."  
"Yes, I suppose. Thank you again." Dumbledore nodded and Lily walked away, only to be confronted by a certain Sirius Black. "Sirius?"

"Lily." Sirius smiled warmly at her. "You okay?"

"He wanted to die, Sirius." Both of them looked over at James, who was still being tended to by Remus.

"I know. He thought that he'd lost you." Sirius turned back to find that Lily was staring at him. "Lils?"  
"Will you promise me something, Siri?"

"Anything."

"Promise me that if something does happen to me you'll make sure that he doesn't do anything stupid. Promise me you won't let him get himself killed because of that."

With a heavy heart, Sirius said "I promise, Lils. But nothing will happen to you."

"I know." Lily smiled but there were tears in her eyes.

Sirius pulled her into a hug and whispered into her ear. "I promise you, Lils, that nothing will happen to you. And if something does, God forbid, I'll look after him for you."

"Thank you, Siri." Lily breathed.

…

"I almost let him kill me, Moony. I would have if she hadn't walked over to me."

Remus glanced into James' hazel eyes and saw that James wasn't actually there. His mind was somewhere else. Remus returned to his ministrations without saying anything. He doubted if James would hear him at all.

"I wanted to die. I can't live without her. Not really, anyway. It wouldn't be living, it would be existing and I don't want to just exist. But I don't want to live without her. I don't know what I'd do if she left me."

"She isn't going to leave you, Prongs. She loves you, finally, and she isn't going anywhere."

"You don't know that for sure, though. You're just guessing. Maybe she's just playing with me, you know, leading me on."

"By agreeing to marry you? I highly doubt it, James, my friend." Remus flicked his wand the last drops of blood disappeared from James' face. "There, all better. Now stop worrying. And besides, we wouldn't let you die if Lily did. You'd have to go first, or not at all." James shot Remus a dirty look but didn't have the chance to reply, as Lily embraced him.

"You scared me, Lil." Both of them knew he wasn't talking about the surprise hug.

"I know. I didn't mean too. I'm sorry."

"Don't be. You have nothing to apologise for. I'm just sorry I didn't get there sooner."

"Me too." Lily finally let go of James. "Can we go home now, please?"


	13. The Night Before

_It had been two months since James and Lily had survived their encounter with Lord Voldemort. In that time Lily had been given a job at St. Mungo's as a medi-witch but was being trained to eventually become a Healer. James, along with Sirius and Remus, was still working as an Auror and was, somehow, loving it. Probably because the three of them shared an office and always worked together. No one in the Auror department wanted to split the three of them up because of the results they were getting and many of them were scared of Lily. For months, James and Lily had been organising their wedding and now the night before had come. James' bachelor party and Lily's hen's night were over and done without any major incidents except for the killer hangovers the day after. As with the Muggle tradition, James and Lily didn't see each other for the whole day before. James stayed in their apartment and had Sirius, Remus and Peter there for company. Lily spent the night at Alice's apartment along with Julie and Mary._

The four Marauders met up at James' apartment once they had all finished work and Sirius immediately pulled out some Firewhiskey, but in the end he was the only one who had any. James was more nervous than he thought he would be and was having trouble staying still. He was continuously shifting positions or getting up and walking around. Finally, Sirius used a charm on him that made him freeze in mid-step. They left him standing in the same position for almost two hours before Remus took pity on him and removed the spell. As soon as the spell was off him, James launched himself at Sirius and tackled him to the ground. Remus and Peter moved out of the way and made sure that they didn't break anything. Sirius and James fought for several minutes before they ran out of breath and simply lay on the fall, side-by-side, breathing heavily but laughing.

"You're an idiot, Paddy." James panted.

"Am not. You're the idiot, Prongsie." Sirius replied.

"You're both idiots." Remus said, smiling. "You guys are just lucky you didn't break anything."

"Party pooper."

…

Lily, meanwhile, was freaking out.

"Alice!" Alice, Julie and Mary came running to the door of Alice's bedroom.

"What? What's wrong?"

"It doesn't fit! My dress doesn't fit!"

"Lily, come out and show us." Julie said calmly. There was a sigh from behind the door before she came out. Lily was wearing her dress but was holding it up against her chest.

"I can't get it done up at the back. The zipper won't close." Lily was almost in tears by this stage. Mary motioned for her to turn around and the three girls inspected the back of the dress.

"Its fine, Lily, we can fix this." Julie undid the dress and checked the dress. She then slowly pulled the zipper back up and found that it really wouldn't close properly. "Breathe in, my dear." Lily took a deep breath and all three girls managed to pull the zipper up all the way. When it was done, Lily turned around and winced as she did.

"I can't breathe." Lily wheezed. It was obvious that she couldn't. The dress was so tight that she was nearly popping out the top.

"Bloody hell, Lily, what did you do?"

"I don't know. I've been on a diet to make sure this didn't happen and it did. What the hell?"

"Lily, are you pregnant?" Alice asked with an eyebrow raised.

"No, of course not… I don't think so." Lily fell quiet as she thought about it. "No. I haven't been sick for years and we're careful. There's no way."

"Okay, okay. Maybe its water weight?"

"Maybe. Un-do me." Lily turned around and they un-did the zipper. Lily went back to Alice's room and took the dress off and put it away carefully. She then pulled on her pyjamas and went back out. "What am I going to do? I don't want to expand the dress."

"Then how you gonna get into it?"

"I don't know. I'm screwed."

…

"I wonder how Lily's doing." James and the boys had been sitting quietly, but there was too much going through James' mind and he wasn't game to start moving again.

"I'm sure she's fine, James." Remus spoke soothingly and before Sirius had the chance to pipe up and freak James out.

"Yeah, I suppose." The boys fell silent again until James had a sudden idea and smiled at Remus.

"Yes, James?" Remus hadn't even looked around.

"Moony, you know how you're my best mate?"

"What! I'm your best mate, not him." Sirius' comment went completely ignored.

"Anyway, can you check on her? Please, Moony?"

Remus sighed. "I'm sure she's fine, James."

"Please, Remy?"

"Don't call me that." Lily, after all, was the only one who called him that, though that wasn't mentioned. "I'm sure she's fine."

"Please?"

Remus Aparated away before anything else could be said or suggested.

…

A loud knock on the door interrupted the girl talk that had been going on in Alice's living room. When the door opened, it was Remus who said there looking very sheepish.

"Hey, I'm really sorry to interrupt." Alice smiled kindly, guessing why he was there and welcomed him in. "Thanks, Al. Hello."

"Remy?" Lily stood and hugged Remus. "What are you doing here?"

"James wanted him to check on you. Make sure you hadn't changed your mind." Remus shrugged.

"Oh, I'm sorry." Lily smiled.

"That's okay. How is he?"

"Worried that you're going to get cold feet and run out on him. You know nothing over the top, or anything." Remus smiled while Lily rolled her eyes albeit with a huge grin on her face. "And how are things here?"

"Horrible." Lily had stopped smiling now. "My dress doesn't fit me. They managed to zip it up but I couldn't breathe. What am I going to do?" Lily collapsed onto a chair and hid her face in her hands.

"We've already ruled out pregnancy." Alice said quietly to Remus, who smirked.

"Lily, I'm sure everything will be fine in the morning."

"But what if it isn't? Then what, Remy?"

"Then we'll work something out. But until then, you aren't meant to worry about anything. Everything will be better in the morning. I promise you."

"Don't. Everything won't be better in the morning."

"And why not?"

"Petunia still won't come. She returned my letter un-opened. My big sister won't be at my wedding. And I only plan on doing this once." Lily was in tears by this stage and before anyone could comfort her she had run off and shut herself in the room she was staying in for the night. The girls all looked at Remus pointedly.

"I'm going." He sighed. Remus knocked on the door gently. When he heard no reply he tried the door and found that Lily hadn't locked it. Remus walked into the room cautiously and saw Lily standing next to the window.

"I thought she'd come. I really thought that she would come to see me get married. You know what she said when I told her? She said ' _At least you're marrying another freak_ '. I'm used to her calling me that but when she called James that I… reacted badly. I slapped her, Remy. I slapped 'Tuney. Because she called him a freak. I slapped her and told her that at least I would be happy in my marriage. I know that she only married Vernon to get away from us. She isn't happy and I rubbed it in her face. What kind of sister does that? A bad sister. I'm a terrible sister, Remy. She's called me names before but she's never physically hurt me. She wouldn't, couldn't, do that. But I did." Lily turned to face Remus with tears in her eyes. "And so she isn't coming." Remus stepped forward and pulled Lily into his arms.

"I can't blame you for slapping her. I hate to say it, but she deserved it and you know that, Lils. You aren't a terrible sister. She is. If your positions were reversed you'd be going to her wedding, no matter what." Lily smiled against Remus' chest. "And I promise that you won't even notice that she isn't there. I promise, Lil. We'll make sure of that."

"Thanks, Remy." Lily sniffed and let go of him. "Thank you. Please don't tell James."

"I suppose." Remus kissed Lily's forehead. "You going to be okay?"

"Yeah, I'll be fine. Thanks again, Remy."

"No problem. See you bright and early. And if there's still a problem with your dress in the morning I think I know a spell that can help, but we'll wait till then."

"Okay."

…

"How is she?"

Remus had just gotten back from Alice's and walked through the door. The question had come from James immediately.

"She's…okay." Remus smiled slightly.

"Moony?" Sirius didn't even believe him.

"She's a mess. But not for the reasons you think. And she asked me not to tell so I'm not saying a word." Remus watched amused as the expression on James' face rapidly changed from worried to disbelieving to annoyance.

"Remus!"

"Yes, James?"

"Please, tell me?" James was attempting to calm himself down and be tactful but it wasn't working.

"No."

"You… Why not?"

"Because Lily asked me not to." Remus smiled at James' confusion. "James, she's okay."

"Then why don't I believe you?"

"Cause you've known him to too long." Peter chimed in.

"Nice, Pete. Remus, spill it." Sirius had stood up in what was meant to be a threatening way but which just looked ridiculous.

Remus decided to take the bait. "Make me."

"Gladly." James and Sirius launched themselves at him but Remus was too fast. Before they got anywhere near him, Remus Aparated away from them. As a result, Sirius and James landed heavily on the floor. Both of them quickly jumped to their feet and spun around in a circle looking for Remus.

"Careful or you'll end up dizzy." Remus teased. James and Sirius turned to face him with identical mischievous looks on their faces. "Oh no." James and Sirius Disaparated. "Bugger. Where'd they go?"

"Behind you." Before Remus could move, James and Sirius had grabbed hold of his arms so that he couldn't go anywhere. The three of them struggled for a minute before Remus gave up.

"Alright, alright. I'll tell you, just lemme go." Sirius and James let go of their friend but kept their eye on him just in case. Peter had remained in his chair the entire time the mock fight had been going on. Lately, he hadn't seemed interested in their games.

"Lily's freaking out slightly because her dress doesn't fit and Petunia still isn't coming tomorrow because Lily slapped her for calling you," Here Remus motioned towards James, "a freak. That's all."

"Oh." James appeared to be considering everything Remus had said. "Why doesn't her dress fit?"

"I don't know. But apparently they ruled out pregnancy." James blanched slightly and his three so-called friends laughed at his discomfort.

"What's the matter, Prongs? Don't you want baby stags running all over the place?" Sirius said.

"Fawn, you idiot. Baby stags are called fawns. And no, not just now." James muttered his last statement and the boys only just managed to hear it.

"You'll be a good dad one day, James." Remus assured him.

"Yeah, and I'll be an awesome god father."

"Sirius, who says you're going to be god father?"

"I say." Sirius stuck out his tongue.

"Whatever. Wait, Petunia called me a freak?"

"Apparently. When Lily first told her that you guys were engaged Petunia told Lil that at least she was marrying another freak."

"God thing she isn't coming then."

"From your perspective, James, yes, it is a good thing. But Lily really wants Petunia there and she won't go."

"Maybe we can force her to go." Sirius mused.

"I don't think that will work. It would probably just make things worse." Peter said wisely.

"Pete's right. I wouldn't work." James frowned. "I wish I could do something to make it easier for Lil tomorrow."

"Just turn up." Remus said.

"Obviously."

"You need sleep, James. We all do." Remus said.


	14. The Letter and Panic Before the Wedding

_The day of James and Lily's wedding dawned bright and clear. The sun was out, the sky was blue and the birds were singing. The day was, for lack of a better word, perfect. It seemed that nothing could possibly go wrong. The ceremony was being held in a small yet beautiful church (as a Muggle ceremony) and the reception was being held in the backyard of the Potter's household, where there was every chance of magic and lots of it. Everyone had been warned that would be quite a few Muggles there and people would have to be careful with their magic. Lily had insisted, for her parent's sake, that the at least the ceremony be a traditional Muggle occasion. Not to mention, Lily had always wanted the big white wedding. The white dress, the flowers, the church, the whole she-bang. But, of course, it wasn't going to end up like that. Nothing was ever that easy. Petunia wasn't going to be there, Severus wasn't going to be there, the bride and groom were both exceptionally nervous and their friends weren't much better. Lily was holed up in a room in the church, counting down the minutes until she walked down the aisle. James was in the same position, just in a different room._

Lily was sitting in a chair, staring at her reflection in the mirror. She was wearing only a white slip and was being forced to relax while her hair was being done. Lily's make-up was already finished and Lily was glad that her mother had done it. The make-up was very natural and minimal. Her hair was going to be much the same hopefully. Lily's only condition was that most of her hair was left down. James liked her hair out. And so it was going to be out.

Lily was looking into her own eyes. She could see the various greens floating around and she could see the depth in them. James was always telling her that her eyes had so much depth that he sometimes got lost looking into them. Lily was beginning to feel like that. Staring into her own eyes, Lily was losing herself. Her mind was beginning to wander. Her thoughts turned from her beautiful James, to her wounded Remus, to her juvenile Sirius, her delirious Petunia, her incredible parents, her hilarious Alice, her brilliant Mary, her awesome Julie, the war, the death, the destruction, Lord Voldemort. All these things and more went through Lily's mind as she sat staring into her own eyes. She couldn't escape her own thoughts. And she didn't want to.

...

Down the hall, James sat in a chair staring out the window. Like Lily, thoughts were racing through his mind. And many of them were about the same thing. His soon-to-be wife, his friends, his family, the war, Voldemort. Every thought that James had ever had seemed to be repeating itself, over and over again. James hadn't blinked for a while and his hazel eyes were beginning to dry out. Sirius, Remus and Peter had, of course, noticed that their friend was off in another world. They weren't worried but they still kept an eye on him. Just in case. James didn't notice them watching him. It was as though he was in a deep sleep. His mind was playing tricks on him.

Outside, James could see an eleven year old Lily Evans telling an equally young James to leave her alone. The eleven year old James wouldn't do it. He kept bugging her until finally she was the one to walk away. Suddenly, it was two twelve year olds and they were fighting again. This time there was an audience. People were watching them, most of them in awe that the two twelve year olds could fight in such a way. In this fight, James was the one to walk away, but not until he had called Lily a 'dirty, rotten, know-it-all nothing'. James could remember that fight. Lily hadn't even looked at him for three months. The image changed and there were two thirteen year olds having a fight. The fight didn't end well. That had been the first time that Lily slapped James. It had hurt for hours afterwards. James had never forgotten that slap and he never would. Next they were fourteen and James had finally told Lily that he thought she was extremely pretty. The fourteen year old Lily stared at James for a second before whispering a thank you and disappearing around the corner. Fifteen years old and James heard Lily swear for the first time when she told him to 'piss off'. James had actually laughed at her, which had earned him another slap. Sixteen and James asked her out. Seventeen and Lily finally went out with him. Eighteen and they were engaged. Today they were getting married.

James was shaken from his thoughts by Remus who had brought tea. James gladly accepted the cup and held it tightly in his hands to warm them. He looked back out the window and was transported back to the day they had all gone to a park so that they could celebrate their graduation. The leaves had been falling off the trees and James and Lily had danced amongst the falling leaves. Remus had taken a photo of them and it had become James' favourite photo of the two of them. There were lots of photos of them but the one of them dancing amidst falling leaves was his favourite because it was a spontaneous picture and it was natural.

"Remus, can you..."

"I'll be back soon." Remus smiled at him and went to check on Lily.

...

A knock on the door finally awoke Lily from her thoughts and was incredibly happy when her Remus walked through the door. Lily jumped to her feet and straight into his arms. Lily felt so safe in his arms, though Remus had never understood that.

"Lils?" Remus spoke quietly, guessing that Lily had been putting on a happy front all morning.

"Remy." Lily's voice was even softer than Remus' had been. Remus held onto her even more tightly and looked pleadingly at Alice who took the hint and emptied the room of everyone, including herself. Remus got Lily to sit down on the lounge. Remus kept one arm around Lily's shoulder and held Lily's hands with the other.

"Everything okay, Lil?"

"No," Lily sniffed. "I mean, yes, of course. I'm fine." Remus looked Lily in the eye and cocked an eyebrow. "Okay, I'm not okay. I'm terrible."

"Is it about Petunia?"

"Hmm? Oh, no."

"Do you still want to marry James?"

"Yes, of course."

"Then I'm lost. What's wrong, Lil?"

"May I ask you something first?" Lily asked softly. Remus inclined his head and smiled gently at her. "How do you do it?

"Do what exactly?"

"Not give in to all the crap out there. There's so many people who think such nasty things about you but you don't seem to be affected by it. How do you not give in to what people expect you to do and be?"

Remus was silent for a minute, considering both his answer and Lily. "It's not easy and it does affect me. I've just gotten so used to it over the years and I've managed to find ways of coping. Mainly, though, my coping techniques centre around James and Sirius and you and Pete. I don't give in to people's expectations because I have something to hold onto. Every time I hear some kind of criticism I think of you guys and I know that I have a chance in this world. It's not a good chance but I have reasons to keep my chin up. And anyway, you guys wouldn't let me succumb to the crap. Like I said it's not easy but I have ways. That's all. Lily, why'd you ask? In all the years that I've known you, you've never once asked me that. You've always told me that I'm better than the expectations. You made me believe that and know you're asking me why. I don't get it, Lil. What's going on?"

"I don't know, Remy. I'm just scared. Not about the wedding but about the war. I know it isn't easy for any of us but I worry about you the most and..."

"Lily, you're lying to me. Just tell me what's really going on."

Lily sighed. "I'm sorry. I got a letter this morning." Lily stood and retrieved a letter from her over-night bag. She sat back down next to Remus and held it out to him. "It's from Severus."

Remus took the letter and glanced at Lily. Her emerald green eyes were on the envelope. She stared at it for a minute before getting up and sitting back down in front of the mirror.

...

_Dear Lily,_

_I realise that today probably isn't the best day to be sending this but I make no apologies. If I don't do it now then I never will and I don't want to have gone through my entire life without writing and sending this letter. I want you to have all the information before you make any big decisions, such as getting married._

_Firstly, I want to apologise, yet again, for what I said to you all those years ago after the Defence OWL exam. I said it in the heat of the moment and if I could take it back, believe me I would do it in a second. Unfortunately I can't take it back and for so long as I live I will regret that day. I will be eternally sorry for that and I truly understand your reaction when I called you that. I know that you never liked the term and for me to say to you was the biggest betrayal to you. I understand that and I am sorry._

_Secondly, (and this won't be new) I don't think you should marry Potter. For years, you told me over and over again that he was an arrogant toe-rag and that you would never date him, let alone marry him. I don't understand what happened. You hated him and then you come back for seventh year and all of a sudden your madly in love with him. The Lily I knew would never have given him the time of day. And today, you're going to marry him. Lily, I'm sorry, but you shouldn't marry him. Not when you hated him for so long._

_Lily, you and me were best friends for years and one word brings it all crashing down? That's the biggest thing that I just don't understand. One word, Lily. I know you hate the word, especially when it came from me, but it's a word. It's not as though I cursed you. I made a mistake and you're killing me because of it. I miss you, Lily. I miss the way we used to talk for hours on end about nothing. I miss everything that we had. How could you give that all up because of a single word? You have no idea what you've done to me, what you've forced me to do. I don't want to do it but you've made me. You've given me no other option. I just hope that we never met on the field, as it were. I don't know what I'd do if we did. We'd have to fight, Lily, and I don't want to fight you, ever. It's not something I've ever wanted to do. You're a good witch, Lily, better than anyone I've ever met. You're the best witch that I will ever meet. I have no doubt about that._

_Lily, I have been in love with you for longer than Potter. I have always loved you and I have never toyed with your emotions. And I never will. Lily, you marry me and I can protect you from everyone who wants to harm you. And there are a lot of them, seeing as you are a Muggle born. I mean no offence to Potter, but he can't possibly hope to protect you from everything and everyone that's wants to see you dead. I, on the other hand, can and will._

_Please see sense, Lily._

_Severus_

_..._

Remus finished reading the letter and put it down on the table. Lily came back to the lounge but wouldn't meet Remus' gaze.

"Lily?" Remus put his hand on Lily's and she looked up at him. "It wasn't exactly a very polite letter, was it?"

"No, it wasn't." Lily managed a small laugh. "He blames me for him joining them, Remy. How can he do that? How can he even come to that conclusion?"

"I have no idea. But I don't think you should dwell on that."

"How can I not? It's all I've been able to think about since I got it. I can't even think about James. Not after what Sev wrote in that damned letter."

"Lily, you love James, right?" Lily nodded. "That what does the opinion of anyone else matter? It doesn't. All that matters is that the two of you love each other. And if James ever reads this letter I don't think it'll go down well."

Lily laughed. "I don't think he'll react well, either. He's right, though. Severus, I mean. I hated James for years and now I'm going to marry him. It's not logical. How can someone go from hating a person to loving them?"

"I've never experienced it, so I wouldn't know."

"Oh, Remy." Lily threw her arms around Remus' neck and hugged him tightly. "I hope you only experience the love bit. The hate part isn't nice." Lily let go of Remus but kept her hands resting on his shoulders. "You deserve so much, Remy. And one day you will find someone who will love you for everything you are, even the bits that not many others seem to like. But until then, you have me and James and Sirius and Peter and Alice and Frank and Julie and Mary and my parents and James' parents. You have so many people who love and worry about you. We won't ever let you do anything stupid. We'll always be there to make sure that you're okay."

"Thanks, Lil. I know, believe me, I know. If I haven't scared you lot away by now I think I'll be stuck with you until I die. Or until I do something really, really, really bad. If you ever let me."

"We won't. What am I going to do?"

"About Severus?" Remus asked. Lily nodded without meeting her friend's eyes. "I don't know, Lil. It's up to you. Just don't let James, or anyone else know." Lily nodded again. "I suppose I should let them finish doing your hair." Remus went to stand up but Lily stopped him.

"They have finished. I just have to put my dress on and you said that you knew a way to make it fit."

"Very true." Remus went to get the girls back while Lily re-hid the letter. When Alice, Mary and Julie came back they helped Lily into her dress and began to zip it up slowly. Lily's body was relaxed and the girls got the zipper to do up all the way without any magic or problems. Lily let out a sigh of relief and turned to face Remus.

"What do you think?" Lily's dress was strapless, floor length, and simple.

"I think you look beautiful and James will love it." Remus kissed Lily's cheek and left the room.

…

"How is she?" Remus was greeted by the question before he had actually entered the room.

"She's fine, Prongs. A little nervous but fine. And she looks amazing." Remus smiled as James sank into a chair with a goofy grin on his face.

"He looks like he's gonna be sick." Peter muttered to Sirius who laughed loudly.

"He does actually. Come on, mate, time for us to wait out there for the bride." Sirius pulled James to his feet and clapped him on the back. "Relax, Prongsie, everything will be just fine. You'll see." James nodded dumbly and followed his friends out into the church. The four of them stood at the end of the aisle, next to the priest. Everyone could see James' nerves and everyone felt sorry for him, knowing that he was hoping Lily wouldn't change her mind and run. Sirius, Remus and Peter were trying to get him to relax but he refused. Not even his and Lily's parents could get him to relax.

…

Lily stood in the room alone, looking at her reflection. Lily pulled the lace veil down over her face and smiled at herself. She was marrying James Potter. She could barely believe it. Severus was right. It didn't make sense. How could she marry someone that she had hated? Simple, she thought, people change. And James had changed and she'd fallen in love with him. There was a soft knock on the door and Jack, Lily's father, came in.

"Oh, Lily, you look beautiful."

"Do you really think so, Daddy?"

Jack stepped forward and kissed his youngest daughter's forehead. "Absolutely, and I'm not just saying it. You ready to go? James is losing his mind out there."

Lily looked at herself in the mirror again. Her green eyes were sparkling.

"I'm ready."


	15. Wedding Aftermath

_James and Lily's wedding was perfect. Nothing went wrong and neither of them messed up their vows. Sirius had silently wondered if one of them would accidentally say someone else's name but, thankfully, it didn't happen. After the ceremony the entire congregation moved the party to the backyard of the Potter's house. The reception was small but incredibly fun. Lots of pictures were taken and for a few hours everyone forgot about the war. Speeches were given, toasts were made, cake was eaten, and fun was had. James and Lily could not have asked for a better wedding and deep down Lily was glad that Petunia wasn't there. Sirius had decided to commemorate the union of his best friend by setting off magically enhanced fireworks. They were absolutely spectacular and a fitting tribute. People began to leave at midnight until eventually James, Lily, Sirius and Remus were the only ones left. James' parents weren't staying at the house that night and were instead spending the night with Lily's parents, as the four of them had become very good friends. Sirius and Remus didn't feel as though they were intruding, and neither did James or Lily. They both felt that it was the perfect way to end a perfect day._

"Well, I don't know about you lot, but I'm beat." Sirius was leaning back and in danger of toppling off the bench completely. James and Remus laughed at him, while Lily could only manage a smile, she was so tired. Lily's hair had long since fallen out of the bun it had been in and she was leaning against James for support and warmth. The night had been absolutely perfect, weather wise, but as it had gotten later and later the weather had taken a nasty turn and a strong breeze was now blowing through the trees and straight through Lily's dress. James had draped his jacket around her shoulders but it wasn't making much of a difference unfortunately. Lily shivered and moved closer to James, who tightened his grip around her.

"I'm gonna head home." Remus stood up and goodbyes were swapped between all of them. Sirius decided that it was time he returned to his flat and said his goodbyes to James and Lily. As soon as their friends were gone, James and Lily went inside in a desperate attempt to warm their bones. James noticed that Lily had a far-away look on her face.

"Lils? You okay?"

"What? Oh, yeah, just tired." Lily smiled weakly and sat down on the edge of the bed. James watched her for a minute before sitting down next to her.

"You're not having any regrets are you?"

Lily laughed at him. "Of course not, James. Don't be stupid."

"Got you to laugh though. Lils, you sure you're okay?"

"Yes, I just still can't believe that… Petunia didn't come." Lily said the last part very quickly as she had almost mentioned the letter from Severus.

James looped his arm around Lily. "I'm sorry that she didn't. But there's no point thinking about it now, is there? I mean, it was her loss anyway."

"Yeah, I know." Lily rested her head against James and sighed happily. "I'm so tired but I don't want to sleep."

"There are other things we could do."

Lily hit his arm lightly and laughed. "Probably, but I'm too tired."

"Typical."

"Shut up, James." Lily closed her eyes and breathed deeply. She had always loved the way James smelled. Unfortunately, as soon as her eyes closed, an image came to Lily's mind. It was Severus and the look on his face was one of betrayal. Lily sat up quickly and her eyes sprang open.

"Lily? What is it? What's wrong?" James was extremely worried. Lily was looking very scared and worried about something.

Lily managed to brave a smile. "Nothing. I'm fine, honestly."

"You sure?" James looked straight into Lily's eyes and saw that she was more than scared and worried. She was absolutely terrified about something.

"Of course I'm sure." Lily looked at James' eyes for a second longer before averting her eyes. And, despite them being open, the image of a betrayed Severus appeared to her again. Lily could do nothing about the tears that misted her eyes. "I'm going to shower." Lily got up and walked as quickly as possible into the bathroom. As soon as the door closed behind her, Lily sunk to the ground and let the tears flow.

…

James watched the door close and could almost make out the sounds of Lily sobbing. He stood up and went over to the door, raising his fist to knock. Something, however, stopped him. Perhaps it was the sound of Lily crying or perhaps it was just an instinct telling him to leave her be. James sighed and rested his head lightly against the door. Whatever was going with Lily wasn't just about Petunia. James went and picked up Lily's bag to put with the rest of the luggage. But James had only grabbed one handle and the bag tipped over and everything fell out.

"Damn it." James knelt down and began shoving everything back into the bag without looking at what it was. At the very bottom was a thick envelope. James' curiosity got the better of him and he opened the envelope and took out the pieces of parchment. James recognised the writing immediately.

…

Lily had long since finished crying but she remained sitting on the floor for a little while in an attempt to calm herself down. Lily stood slowly and changed out of her wedding dress into track pants and singlet top. Lily washed and dried her face before opening the door and stepping out into the room. James was sitting on the bed with his back to her.

"James?" Lily frowned when James didn't react and it was only then that she noticed her bag lying on the floor with the contents all jumbled up. "James?" Lily walked towards him and saw that he was holding Severus' letter in his hands. "James, how did you find that?"

"I picked up your bag and everything fell out." James didn't look up at her. His hazel eyes were focused on the piece of parchment in his hands. Lily could see that it was the last page of the letter.

"You shouldn't have read it, James."

"I know." James glanced up at Lily and she was shocked to see the look in his eyes.

"James? It means nothing."

"This is what's upset you." James held the letter out as though it were something poisonous. "What he said or wrote or whatever. This is what's wrong."

"Yes." Lily sat down on the floor and leant against the wall. "I'm only upset about it because I wish he hadn't sent it and that I hadn't read it." Lily watched James closely for his reaction. James wasn't looking at her instead his eyes were entirely focused on the letter.

"He… loves you." James finally looked at his new wife to see that she wasn't looking at him. Her face was hidden behind her hands. James sighed and went over to Lily. James sat on the floor next to her but he didn't put his arm around her. Lily moved slightly closer to him but stopped when he didn't reach out to her.

"I know. I think I've always known but I ignored it because he was my best friend. But then he called me a Mudblood. Thanks to you. And I mean that. I'm not being sarcastic or anything."

"Yeah, I know." James got back to the first page of the letter. "He didn't want you to marry me."

"And I did anyway." Lily put her hand on her new husband's arm.

James nodded. "And he blames you for forcing him to become a Death Eater." James finally turned towards Lily. Lily bit her lip and nodded. "It isn't though. He's just being an idiot."

Lily smiled, though it wasn't very convincing. "Yeah, I know."

"I say we burn it." James held the letter out to her. Lily took it tentatively. "We don't have too, though, if you don't want. It's up to you."

Lily got out her wand and pointed it at the pages of the letter. "I should have done this as soon as I got it." Lily quietly set fire to the pieces of parchment and the new husband and wife watched the pages flare up and disintegrate. "That's better." Lily sobbed.

James finally put his arm around her and pulled her close to him. "I am sorry about it, Lils." Lily nodded and buried her face against him. There were no tears but Lily didn't want James to see her face.

After a while, Lily sat up straight and turned to James. "I can hardly believe that we're finally married." Lily grinned as James' face fell slightly as the realisation caught up to him.

"After all those years of you denying me, you've married me."

Lily kissed James' lips. "I love you, James."

"Love you too, Lily."


	16. Twice?

_In many a mountain pass,_  
Or meadow green and fresh,  
Mass shall encounter mass  
Of shuddering human flesh;  
Opposing ordnance roar  
Across the swaths of slain,  
And bloods in torrents pour  
In vain - always in vain,  
For war breeds war again!

_The shameful dream is past,_  
The subtle maze untrod:  
We recognise at last  
That war is not of God.

_~ John Davidson_

…

Screams and shouts filled the air. Coloured lights lit up the sky. Blood flowed from every single person there. There was no love. There was no happiness. There was only desperation. There was only fear. There was only hatred.

Desperation. Fear. Hatred.

All together they equal death. All together they equal pain. All together they equal war.

…

The message from Dumbledore had come while they were having dinner.

_Hillsbrook. Muggle town. Twenty dead already._

They hadn't said goodbye. They hadn't wanted to. It was just another battle. There was nothing to worry about. They'd done this enough times to know that goodbyes would just make it harder to concentrate on their own battle.

No goodbye would ensure that they would see each other again. Alive.

…

Lily had a gash above her eyebrow which would scar brightly.

James had cuts all over his body, though only one on his shoulder would scar.

Remus had a large cut on his back which would scar, though it would blend in with all the others.

Peter had a cut on his arm which would not scar.

Sirius had a gash on his cheek which would scar lightly no matter what.

…

The Death Eaters were faring no better. Not one of them was unharmed. And they all appeared to be desperately holding on for something. They were all waiting for something or someone.

This fact only made the Aurors and Order members fight harder. They were desperate to finish this battle before the arrival of Lord Voldemort.

James and Lily didn't know if they would be able to survive another encounter with him. No one thought they would be able to.

…

Lily was only just managing to fend off five Death Eaters. The cut above her eyebrow was causing problems though. The blood kept clouding her vision. And it hurt, a lot. The five Death Eaters had long since realised the problems that Lily was having and they were trying to use that to their advantage. They kept making sure that she couldn't see them, but, thankfully, she always managed to block the curses in time. Either that or she dodged them and hoped they didn't hit anyone on her side.

Lily couldn't see anyone friendly anymore. All she could see were Death Eaters. Everywhere she looked there was someone who wanted her dead. She could hear the screams and shouts of her friends off in the distance and that was worse than actually seeing them hurt. Lily could only hope that they were doing better than she was. And that at least some of them were fighting in groups and not individually.

Lily was roughly pushed aside as a curse was thrown at her. She then watched helplessly as the curse slammed into a Death Eater. The Death Eater in question began to scream as his flesh started to melt. It was the most horrible sight that Lily had ever seen and she abandoned her efforts to stay alive in an attempt to help the writhing Death Eater. She knelt down beside him and ripped off his mask to reveal a seventeen year old boy. Lily almost lost it then. How could children be made to fight? Then of course she realised that she was only nineteen. The young boy seemed incredibly confused as to why he had helped a Mudblood that he was just attacking and why she was helping him, but as a fresh wave of pain came over him, he decided he didn't care why. He just wanted help.

Lily began trying every single counter-spell she could think of but nothing was working. And the fact that the other Death Eaters were still sending curses her way wasn't exactly helping. Lily's hands were shaking from the exhaustion of it all and she was very nearly killed but at the last minute someone deflected the curse.

"Bloody hell, Lils, pay attention." A beaming and bleeding Sirius said. Lily was so glad to hear Sirius' voice that she almost abandoned her efforts to help the boy in front of her.

"Sirius! Help me." Lily motioned towards the young boy. Sirius knelt down and inspected him.

"Christ. Johnny?" Sirius reached out and touched the boy's face.

"You know him?" Lily fired off a curse and smiled grimly as a Death Eater fell to the floor unconscious.

"He's a friend of Regulus. Johnny, can you hear me?" All of Sirius' concentration was focused on his brother's friend and so Lily took over the business of protecting the three of them. Johnny looked at Sirius and seemed to recognise him. Johnny opened his mouth to speak but the words were replaced by a scream of pain. Sirius knew what this curse was. And he knew that there was no stopping it.

"Help… me… please… Sirius…"

"I can't… Johnny, I'm sorry. Nothing can stop this curse. You know that." Sirius gripped Johnny's hand. "But I won't leave you to die alone like this."

"I know." Somehow Johnny's eyes had cleared and he seemed to understand what he'd done. "I made a mistake. I joined the wrong side. This war is wrong. I know that now. I knew that when I pushed her aside." Johnny nodded at Lily. "She's nice, she isn't trying to kill us. She should be though."

"That's Lily Potter. You won't ever find her killing for no reason."

"Lily Potter. Evans. I remember her. She was Head Girl." Johnny closed his eyes and grimaced in pain. "Sirius… Regulus… he's here. Help him." The last thing Johnny saw was Sirius' face and Johnny was very thankful for that. He had, after all, always been in love with Sirius.

As soon as he was sure Johnny was gone Sirius stood and looked around at all of the Death Eaters, hoping to recognise his brother's lanky figure. Lily saw his distress and asked him what was wrong. Sirius simply said his brother's name and Lily knew.

"Go look for him, Sirius. I'll be fine." Sirius glanced at her and knew she would be. And so he took off.

…

James was beginning to get really annoyed. He was currently fighting back to back with Remus and he could just make out the figure of Peter standing and fighting with Arthur Weasley and Kingsley Shacklebolt. James was glad that Peter was getting help. James could also see Alice and Frank fighting with Gideon and Fabian Prewett. The only people James couldn't see were Lily and Sirius. Somehow he doubted that they were fighting together. Though he hoped they were.

James was brought back to his current situation when he felt Remus slump to the ground behind him. James swore and looked up at the moon. Tomorrow night would be the full moon. Remus shouldn't be there fighting. Dumbledore hadn't sent him a message but the idiot had found out anyway. James created a temporary bubble around them to keep them safe. He then crouched down in front of Remus, who smiled at him weakly.

"I shouldn't have come."

"You think?" James couldn't blame his friend for coming. Remus had never shied away from a fight. At school, maybe, but that was because those fights were insignificant. He hadn't missed a single fight since they'd graduated. Except for one, but that had been the moon's fault and none of them, not even Lily, had been there.

"It's not worth it, James. What they're fighting for, I mean. They die for nothing on the whim of a mad man. We die for everything we have on our own whim. What makes them think it's worth it?"

"I dunno, mate. We'll ask as soon as I take down the bubble, shall we?"

Remus laughed. "If you like." He drew a shuddering breath. "James, I think I have to go now."

"What d'you mean?"

"I'm not sure. But I feel cold. And it's getting darker."

James' breathing hitched. Remus was dying. "It's the middle of the night, Moony. Everyone feels cold."

"Stop lying, Prongs. Everyone's hot, the adrenalin, and I'm cold. There's no adrenalin. I think… I might be dying."

"Now who's lying? Come on, Moony, you're not dying. Lily would kill me if that happened." James was hoping to elicit a smile from his friend. And he did, briefly. But then pain raced through Remus and he cried out. "Shit, Remus, don't you dare. Don't you dare die on me." James pointed his wand at Remus and that was when he discovered that the gash on Remus' back was deeper than they had originally thought. James desperately tried to think of the spell to heal the wound but the word wouldn't come to his mind. A string of obscenities escaped James' mouth but they quickly turned to a smile when Remus laughed at him.

"Relax, James, this day was always going to come. It comes for everyone."

"Nope, not today, not for you. What's the spell, Moony? I know you know it."

Remus sighed. "It won't work."

"Just tell me the damn spell, Moony! At least let me try." Remus whispered the spell and James quickly performed it. The skin on Remus' back laced together and the blood he'd lost was instantly replaced. As soon as the spell was complete the protective bubble around the two men dissipated and they were thrown back into the fight.

It was then that James saw a strange sight. Sirius was running around ripping the masks off of various Death Eaters. Each time he did this Sirius would peer closely at the face still in darkness and then race off to the next one. James shook his head wondering what the hell was going.

"Regulus." Remus spoke quietly but it was enough to send a shiver down James' spine.

"Bloody hell."

…

A scream filled the air.

A body fell.

Silence descended.

Lord Voldemort had arrived.

…

And that's when things began to go wrong. Up until then, the darkness had been a minor inconvenience. But now that Lord Voldemort was there, the darkness was horror and terror and everything that they feared. Voldemort would move amongst the shadows and whenever he got closer to someone from the 'other' side he would let them know he was there and then kill them. They had no warning. They had no chance to fight back. They never saw him coming. Even his own followers didn't know where he was. And he actually killed two Death Eaters, both of whom had been telling Dumbledore certain secrets. Voldemort showed no mercy, as usual, but he also showed cowardice. He never went anywhere near the fearsome figure of Professor Albus Dumbledore. For Voldemort knew, deep down, that Dumbledore knew where he was hiding in the shadows and at any second Dumbledore would lash out and he would be wounded and unable to defend himself. It was then that Voldemort began questioning whether or not any of his Death Eaters would stand beside the fallen master and protect him from the masses. Somehow, he knew that many of them would run and claim they were under the Imperious curse, and the foolish ministry would believe them out of desperation.

Voldemort moved swiftly and silently. Picking his victims from a distance. Those he killed weren't chosen randomly. Nothing about this particular battle was random. He had planned the entire thing. Certain people were cut off from the friends. Voldemort wasn't taking any chances. His victims had all been handpicked by him in advance. He had taken suggestions and requests, however, from his most trusted followers. It was a very exclusive list and one that you really didn't want to be one.

Voldemort saw a flash of red. Red hair, no less. The target he was after. The Mudblood, Lily Evans, Potter. The former love of his most trusted follower. Severus didn't know that tonight was the night that Lily Potter would die.

…

Lily was desperate. More desperate than she had been the whole night. She needed to get to the others. She needed to find someone friendly. She needed to escape Voldemort. Lily had seen the pattern and she knew he was after her as well. And she knew he wasn't far away. Only three people were following Voldemort's progress. Dumbledore, Lily and Remus. No one else could see that he was walking in a circle, he was closing in on everyone. When someone fell down dead next to someone, they would run away from the body and further into the middle. Lily was doing the same thing but she was warning people as she went. All of them listened to her and so they passed on the message and people did the only thing they could think of. They Aparated away from the fight. Everyone went to the safe house where Healers and Aurors were waiting. People had been going there all night. But now they were going there in larger numbers. Lily hoped that the message would get to…

"Lily Potter." A wand tip was pressed against her back. A cold chill raced down Lily's spine.

"Lord Voldemort."

"No one else has replied to me all night. Interesting change of pace." Cold laughter escaped Voldemort's mouth. "How does is it feel knowing that you die tonight?"

"One day, Voldemort, you will meet someone who will have the power to kill you. I only wish that I could see it."

"No one can kill me."

"No one you've met perhaps. But one day, they will come. And you will fear them."

"I fear no one. Goodbye Lily Potter. Avada Kedav…"

"No!"

Voldemort was thrown off to the side but he managed to get the last syllable out. A green light exploded from his wand and headed for Lily. Voldemort was sure that the curse would find its mark and so he quickly left the scene.

…

_Avada Kedavra._

_Those words. They aren't good words. And you never want to hear them._

_I don't want to hear them. All I want is James._

_I hear the first dreaded word. The second word begins and, suddenly, the small circle of pressure on my back disappears. I turn to see Voldemort flying to the floor. He finishes the word._

_Green light explodes and lights up the dark night. It's brighter than I've ever seen it before. How is that possible?_

_Voldemort's cruel smile appears. And that's when I realise he's killed me. I am dead. As soon as that curse hits me._

_Three…_

_Two…_

_One…_

_Nothing…_


	17. Twice? Part 2

_Avada Kedavra._

_Those words. They aren't good words. And you never want to hear them._

_I don't want to hear them. All I want is James._

_I hear the first dreaded word. The second word begins and, suddenly, the small circle of pressure on my back disappears. I turn to see Voldemort flying to the floor. He finishes the word._

_Green light explodes and lights up the dark night. It's brighter than I've ever seen it before. How is that possible?_

_Voldemort's cruel smile appears. And that's when I realise he's killed me. I am dead. As soon as that curse hits me._

_Three…_

_Two…_

_One…_

_Nothing…_

…

James watched helplessly as the curse headed straight for Lily. James watched as his wife fell. James saw Voldemort leave followed by all of his Death Eaters. James slowly walked over to Lily's prone form. Lily's body had fallen awkwardly and was on her stomach. James could tell that she would have scratches on her face. Hopefully, they weren't too bad. James knelt down and reached out to Lily. He could feel Sirius and Remus come up to stand behind him. James took a deep breath and carefully turned Lily onto her back. Lily's face was covered with blood from the cut above her eyebrow and all of the small cuts she received from the fall. Lily looked incredibly peaceful and James could hardly bare to look at his beautiful wife, who now lay dead in his arms. James lightly touched Lily's face and then stood up and walked away from everyone.

"Prongs! Where are you going?" Sirius yelled out after him.

James stopped and turned around. "To join my wife." James continued walking away and then Disaparated.

...

James wasn't sure where he was going but he knew that he would be able to find some Death Eater in Knockturn Alley or in The Hog's Head in Hogsmeade. James didn't particularly care which Death Eater he met, he just wanted to get in a fight and perform so badly that he joined Lily wherever she was. Though, deep down, James knew that if there was a Heaven he wouldn't be joining Lily there. Not after everything he had done. Especially to Severus Snape.

Snape. That was who James would really like to meet. The man who Lily had loved before she had loved him. The man who had tried to convince Lily not to marry him. James wanted to throw everything back into his greasy face. James reached The Hog's Head and marched through the door with his wand drawn. James went in looking for a fight and he was going to get it, no matter what Aberforth had to say about it. James looked around the dingy bar and saw someone who was clearly a Death Eater sitting at a table on his own. James went straight over to him and was surprised when Regulus looked up at him. Regulus looked exhausted. He had tear tracks on his cheeks and he was clutching onto a Butterbeer and a photograph.

"My friend, Johnny, died in the battle. Sirius and Lily were with him." Regulus looked down at the picture as a fresh wave of tears flowed from his eyes. "He died because he pushed Lily out of the way. He was hit with a curse meant for her. And I'll never know why he did it." Regulus looked up at James. "I'm sorry about Lily, James. You probably want to know where you can find a Death Eater willing to kill you. Well, Snape should be arriving here soon. He always comes here after a fight." Regulus and James turned towards the door as it swung inwards, bringing in both the cold and a hooded figure. The figure sat down at the bar and ordered a Firewhiskey. "That'll be him. James, he won't know that she's gone. He left before it happened."

James smiled wickedly and walked over to Snape. "Hello, Snivelly. Nice night, isn't it? Shame that so many people aren't able to enjoy it."

Snape turned around and gave James a cold stare. "I'm not interested in anything you have to say, Potter. Just leave."  
"Oh, I think you'll be very interested to hear what I have to say. You see, I have a bit of a revelation for you, my slimy friend."

"I'm not your friend, Potter." Snape sneered.

"I don't want you to be. Now, shut up or you won't hear my revelation about your precious master. He killed many people tonight, Snape. Men and women, mothers and fathers, friends and siblings. But you want to know the worst death of the night? Well, the worst death in my opinion." James looked disgusted that he was talking to Snape. Snape, picking up on this sneered at him again and turned around. "Lily." Snape froze. "Lily was killed tonight, by your master. What does it feel like knowing that your master killed the woman you claim to love so much?" James placed both his hands on Snape's shoulder and spoke quietly into his ear. "She's dead because of you."

"You lie. She can't be dead." Snape allowed James to turn him around. In James' eyes, Snape recognized something. Hatred, pure and absolute hatred. James Potter, he realised, was going to kill him. Snape knew he would have to talk fast and make Potter believe him. "No, really, Potter, listen to me. She can't be dead because the curse never touched her."

"What? What did you say?" James spoke so quietly that Snape barely heard him. "You weren't there. You left, you didn't see it happen."

"No, I swear, Potter. I swear on my own life, the curse never hit her."

"She was unconscious."

"Probably because she hit her head when the spell knocked her over."

James suddenly looked very suspicious. "You said the curse didn't hit her."

"What? Oh, the Dark Lord's curse didn't hit her, but... another spell did." Snape averted his eyes.

"Another spell? What other spell?" James shook Snape. "Tell me, Snape!"

"My spell! Alright, my spell hit her."

"What spell?"

Snape sighed. "One of my own. I've never tried it before but I figured it was the perfect moment."

James' eyes narrowed. "The perfect moment to test a spell? Snape, if it's the last thing I do, I'll..."  
"James!" Regulus put a hand on James' shoulder. "He's coming here. The Dark Lord is coming here." James let go of Snape and spun round. "I didn't call him, so don't blame me. I don't know why he's coming but he is. You need to go. Neither of us will say anything. Will we, Snape?" Snape rolled his eyes and returned to his drink.

"Sorry, Aberforth." James muttered to the bar tender who merely nodded grimly and removed his wand from the folds of his cloak.

"Potter." Snape blocked James' exit from the pub.  
"What do you want?"

"I know that I probably don't need to tell you this, but look after her. You make one mistake and she'll never forgive you. Believe me on that. You're very lucky to have her."

"I am aware of this. Now, get out of my way before I do something I should have done a long time ago."

"Yeah, yeah, I get it." Snape returned to the bar and to his drink. James went out into the street and walked towards the Shrieking Shack. When he got there, James stood staring at the imposing structure, thinking about the night to come. No doubt Remus was in absolute agony but putting on an act. James wondered if he'd go. Remus would, of course, understand if he didn't go. James glanced up at the moon and couldn't help but be reminded of Lily. She had always liked looking at the moon, except for when it was full. James mind inevitably turned to what Snape had said. Could Lily be alive? It was impossible. James had seen her fall. She hadn't been breathing. Suddenly, James heard a twig snap under foot behind her. James carefully pulled his wand from his pocket and listened carefully. He could hear the person breathing softly. A shiver found its way down James' spine and he knew the person wasn't friendly.

"Let me guess. Lord Voldemort." James heard soft laughter and turned to see Voldemort standing casually on the path, slowing twirling his wand between his long, ghost-like fingers. James faced Voldemort head on, holding his wand loosely by his side. He had no interest in surviving this fight. He would die and join Lily. Simple.

"You are so ready to die, my dear enemy. You have survived me once before and now I have killed your wife. What more do you have? Can you do anything more in this pathetic life of yours? Are you really ready to give up entirely and join your Mudblood wife in death?"

James had tears clouding his vision. His wand slipped from his hand. "Completely. Lily was everything to me, and you took her away. I have nothing left."

"And what of your friends? The traitor and the werewolf. What of them?"

Something about what Voldemort had said stopped James. "What did you say?"

"What of your friends? Don't you care about them? Don't they matter?"

"The traitor and the… werewolf." The tears in James' eyes disappeared. "How do you know about Remus?" Voldemort frowned as he realised his slip of the tongue. He hadn't wanted anyone to know that he knew. "How do you know?"

"Many of my followers are aware of Lupin's disease."

"Disease? He isn't diseased. And Sirius isn't a traitor. What would you know? You don't know them, you don't know anyone. _You_ are completely alone, not me." Quick as a flash, James bent and grabbed his wand.

The fight between the two was absolutely brutal. Neither gave in and neither ever would. This fight was a fight to the death. And James was damned if he was going to be the one to die. Even if he wanted to. Despite the fight's brutality it didn't last long. James was exhausted from fighting for so long and his reflexes suffered for it. Voldemort managed to use the Cruciatus curse on James. Although James' body was screaming out in pain, his mind had gone entirely blank. In his mind, James was floating through the air on the softest cloud imaginable. In his mind, James was experiencing the most incredible pain. In his mind, James was leaving his body behind for good.

…

Regulus has watched the entire battle from the cover that the trees provided. He had heard every single word that his master and James had said. And every word had shocked him. Absolutely everything that had been said was shocking and weird to him. Especially the bits about Sirius and Remus. Regulus had known that Remus was werewolf ever since the incident with Snape but he had never realised that the Dark Lord knew and more to the point he didn't know how. Everyone involved in that had been sworn to secrecy, even his parents. There was no way that the Dark Lord could know about that, unless he could somehow read minds and that was ridiculous. What surprised Regulus most, however, was the idea that Sirius could ever betray anyone. It just wasn't in his nature. Sirius hadn't become a traitor to the Black family; he had only done the smart thing and left when he had the chance. He wasn't betraying them and Sirius would never even considered betraying Regulus.

Regulus watched the fight hoping that James wouldn't simply give in. He watched as the two fighters ducked, weaved and deflected various spells and curses. Regulus could see the weariness finally over coming James. But there was nothing he could do. Regulus gripped onto a tree branch as soon as he heard his master say _Crucio._ It became very obvious to Regulus that James' mind was leaving his body and that he would be nothing more than a vegetable. Regulus had to act quickly to ensure that wouldn't happen. And so, he ran a little bit away from the horrible scene and then turned back running, ensuring that he made a lot of noise. Regulus was hoping that Voldemort would leave before he arrived but as expected Voldemort was still there and still torturing James when he arrived.

"My Lord, I am sorry to interrupt but Aurors are on their way. Someone in the village saw you and sent a message to Dumbledore."

"I will not leave until I have dealt with this blood traitor."

"But, my Lord, Dumbledore is here now. He is coming." Regulus hoped that he was being convincing enough. Voldemort looked at him and Regulus was careful not to change his expression, knowing that Voldemort would suspect something.

"Very well." Voldemort let James fall to the ground heavily. "His mind is almost gone anyway. I don't think anything can save him now." Voldemort shot a disgusted look down at James' prone form and Disaparated.

Regulus knelt down beside James. "Hold on, James. They're coming." Regulus had already sent a message to his brother and he hoped that they would be here soon. "Hold on, James." Regulus stood, glanced down at James once more, and then Disaparated.

…

Padfoot crashed through the trees towards the Shrieking Shack hoping, that he could reach James before anything too bad happened. Padfoot broke through the trees, transformed back into human form and then fell to his knees beside James' prone body. Sirius checked for signs of life and although James was breathing and he had a pulse, something was wrong. James' eyes seemed as though they were looking at something on the horizon as they were unfocused and there was no light in them. They were the cold eyes of a dead man.

"No, no, no. James? Prongs, can you hear me?" Sirius took out his wand and considered giving his friend a shock but decided that it probably wasn't the best idea. "Damn it, James. Wake up, you moron!" Sirius sat back on his hunches, very dog like, and covered his face with his hands. "Damn, damn, damn." Sirius stood up and kicked James' side. Sirius then stared down at his friend unable to believe what he had just done, when, suddenly, James eyes cleared slightly and he moaned. "James? Can you hear me, Prongs?"

"What the hell did you kick me for?" James spoke softly as he was still very weak after everything that had happened.

"Cause you wouldn't wake up." Sirius had tears running down his cheeks and he wasn't even bothering to wipe them away.

"Why not?"

"How the bloody hell should I know, you moron?" Sirius helped a weakly laughing James to his feet. "Hold on tight, buddy, we're going home."

…

Sirius arrived at the safe house supporting James' entire weight. Thankfully, Sirius Aparated right next to Frank who quickly grabbed James' other side, and together they got him to a bed. A Healer came over to assess the damage.

"Frank, where's Remus?" Sirius was looking around the room.

"Ah, I think he's outside getting some air. Do you want me to get him?"

"Nah, I got it. Thanks." Sirius glanced at James before walking outside into the chilly early morning air. Sirius took a deep breath and began his search. It didn't take him long to find Remus, who was sitting on a stump watching the sun rising. Sirius sat down next to him without a word.

"Did you find James?" Remus' voice was soft and it was clearly hurting him to speak.

"Of course. He's inside now getting checked." Sirius then told Remus everything he knew about what had happened.

"Bloody hell." Remus rubbed a hand over his tired face. "Why does he want them dead so much?"

"No clue, but it isn't good for them." The two men fell silent and didn't speak again. Instead they watched as the sun finished rising and then went back inside to check on all of their friends. Sirius could see Molly and Arthur sitting off to the side. Molly had her head buried against Arthur's shoulder and it was clear she was crying. Sirius spun to face Remus.

"Fabian and Gideon were killed. I think it was Avery." Remus shook his head. "Fabian found Gideon's body and kind of lost it. He fought about twenty Death Eaters on his own. Molly only just found out from Dumbledore."

"Shit." Sirius looked around and saw through a door way a line of bodies lying out in the open. A line of the dead from both sides. "So many dead. So much waste."

"James, sit down!"

"That was Alice." Remus and Sirius glanced at each other and then raced over to see James trying to get past Frank and Alice.

Alice turned towards Remus and Sirius when she heard them arrive. "He won't listen to us. He wants to see Lily but I haven't finished making sure he's okay."

Sirius nodded and stepped up to James who stopped struggling with Frank and turned to Sirius with pleading eyes. "James, sit back down and let Ally finish checking you. Then we'll take you to Lily. I swear." Sirius put a hand on James' shoulder but James refused.

"No, I have to see her now." James said forcefully.

"Prongs, sit down." Remus gently placed his hand on James' other shoulder. James turned his eyes on Remus.

"Moony? Moony! He knows. Someone told him." James looked very worried about whatever he was talking about.

"James, what in Merlin's name are you on about?" Sirius asked while still applying pressure to James' shoulder.

"Voldemort, you twit. He knows about Remus. Remus you have to hide." James stared at his friend who sighed.

"I know he does, James. I've known for a while. Now, sit back down and let Ally check you." James nodded dumbly and sat down. The three men moved out of Alice's way.

"He knows? How does he know, Remus?"

"Greyback. Or Snape. Either one, it doesn't matter." Remus sighed again and sat down on a chair. "I'm not going into hiding, Prongs. There's no point." James opened his mouth to argue but the look on Alice's face was enough to shut him up.

"Moony, don't be stupid. You have to hide." Sirius said quietly.

"Padfoot, I'll go into hiding the day that Dumbledore does." Remus smiled.

"That'll never happen." Sirius frowned at his friend.

"Kind of my point, Paddy." Remus grinned again.

"Now, can I see Lily? Please, Ally?" James was watching Alice closely who only managed to nod. "Thank you." James jumped off the bed and looked at Sirius and Remus. "Well, are you going to take me to her, or do I have to find her on my own?"

Remus stood and approached James cautiously. "We'll take you but, James, Lily's…"

"Dead, I know. Come on, then." James started to walk away towards the room where all of the dead were being kept when Sirius and Remus steered him off in a different direction. He didn't notice the confused and worried looks on their faces.

"There she is." Remus motioned to bed standing slightly apart from all the others.

James slowly went over to the bed and saw Lily lying there motionless. She had a long bright pink scar above one eyebrow, a black eye, and a broken nose. Lily's hair was matted with blood and there was a light bruise forming on her neck.

"Injuries from the fall." Remus said softly. James nodded. "Other than all that she's unharmed."

"Unharmed? Remus, she's dead." James looked at his friends but didn't notice the confused looks. "How can you call that unharmed?"

Just then James felt something touch his cheek lightly. He looked back down at Lily.

"James, I'm not dead."


	18. Godchildren

_Lily and James took a long time to heal, even with the help of their friends. It wasn't just the physical injuries that had to heal. It was the mental trauma that took the longest to heal, though James never truly healed. James had night terrors for the rest of his life but not every night, thankfully. When they did happen Lily was always there for him. Except some nights were harder than others. It took almost a whole year before the two of them were able to function the way they had before. And in that time, Frank and Alice got married, Gideon and Fabian were farewelled and, at the end of that year on the first of April Molly gave birth to twin boys._

Lily hurried through the halls of the Muggle hospital glancing at the numbers on the doors as she went past. James was racing a long behind her, only slowed down because he was carrying Percy Weasley. Behind James came Sirius and Remus herding Bill and Charlie Weasley with them. The three boys had been staying with James and Lily while Molly had been in the hospital and this was the first time they were coming to visit. Sirius and Remus had only helped when forced into it. Lily suddenly stopped outside a closed door and faced the five boys.

"Now, you three have to be nice and quiet for your mum and your new brothers, okay?" The three Weasley's nodded vigorously. "And, you three," Lily now turned her attention to the older boys. "Play nice." The three of them only smiled at her. Lily sighed and opened the door and moved out of the way as three redheads ran past her into the room. Lily sighed again and followed them in. Molly was sitting up in bed with Arthur standing next to her. Beside the bed were two cribs each containing a sleeping boy. Although Molly had a large smile on her face there was a deep sadness in her eyes. Molly, understandably, still hadn't recovered from the sudden deaths of her brothers, but she put on a brave face for her children.

"They're beautiful, Molly." Lily was looking down at the twins in the cribs.

"Thank you, Lily." Molly was hugging her other boys.

Lily watched her dear friend interacting with her children and a sudden incredible maternal feeling came over her. Lily realised just how much she wanted her babies. She glanced at James only to see that he was watching her. As soon as he saw her looking at him, he smiled and winked at her. Lily rolled her eyes but only so that she wouldn't return the gestures. Lily looked back down at one of the twins just in time to see him open his eyes. The tiny new born stared up at Lily with big brown eyes and Lily couldn't help but be drawn in. She didn't notice Molly watching her out of the corner of her eye. All Lily could see was this little bundle before her. The boy blinked and slowly drifted back off to sleep. Lily smiled slightly and sighed quietly. No one but Molly noticed.

Sometime later, Lily found herself alone with Molly who was staring at the door where two nurses had just left with her new sons. Molly smiled and wiped a tear off her cheek.

"I wish they were here. I can't even imagine what they'd say if they knew I'd had twins." Molly laughed. "Lily, are you okay?"

"Me? I'll bet I'm feeling better than you are." Lily smiled.

"Probably." Molly raised an eyebrow and watched her closely.

"Okay, okay." Lily held up her hands in defeat and laughed. "I just never realised how much I wanted a baby." Lily moved and sat in a chair next to Molly.

"Have you talked to James about it?"

"No," Lily sighed. "We've never talked about it. I never even thought to."

"You need to talk to him. Do you think he wants kids?"

"Of course." Lily frowned. "I mean, I think so. He's so good with kids and he'd be an amazing father. But I don't know if either of us are ready for it."

"How'd you do looking after mine this week?"

"We did okay, I think."

"Lily, if you can look after those three without them killing each other than I reckon you can manage your own."

Lily laughed. "You think?"

"Absolutely." Molly smiled and stifled a yawn. "Oh, I'm sorry. It's not easy giving birth to twins, you understand." Molly placed a hand on her belly. "Though I'm glad I don't have to carry them around in here in anymore." Molly laughed and leaned her head back against the pillows. Molly's eyes closed and she breathed out gently. Lily got up to leave her be when Molly spoke softly. "You'd be a good mother, Lily."

"Thanks, Mol." Lily quietly left the room, closing the door softly behind her.

…

Later that night, Lily was sitting on the lounge reading a book she'd borrowed from Remus, when James came and sat next to her and turned on the television. Lily glanced at the screen and went back to her book, blocking out all other sounds. After some time, Lily sighed, took note of the page she was on and closed the book. She turned to James and simply watched him. James did his best not to notice but it was very difficult.

"Yes, Lily?" James muted the sound on the TV and faced his wife.

Lily smiled sweetly at him. "Nothing."

"Of course not." James focused his attention back on the TV but after a while Lily's staring began to bug him again. "Lily!"

"Yes, dear?"

"What is with the staring?"

Lily sighed. "We need to talk."

"About?" James was, understandably, worried.

"I want a baby." Lily said this very simply that James wasn't quite sure she'd actually said it.

"You what?"

"I want a baby." Lily spoke slowly this time and watched as James' expression went from confused to slightly scared. "Don't you?"

"No," James said. Lily's eyes went wide and James quickly held up his hands to stop her. "I mean, yes. You just kind of caught me off guard."

"Off guard? James, you shouldn't be off guard when it comes to talking to me about these things."

"I know, Lil. I'm sorry, it's just that we've never talked about this before."

"Which is why I brought it up." Lily sat properly on the lounge and stared fixedly at the TV. James watched her a little longer before moving closer to her and wrapping an arm around her shoulders. He kissed her temple lightly.

"I'm sorry, Lily. I do want kids but I wasn't sure how to broach the subject with you. This is probably something we should have talked about before we got married." James smiled when Lily huffed and rolled her eyes. "Will you forgive me?"

"I suppose so." Lily smiled despite herself and leaned against James. "You really want kids?"

"Absolutely, as many as possible. Besides we'll have fun trying." Lily laughed and kissed her husband.

…

The next morning at the hospital, Molly smiled when she saw both James and Lily watching her new twin boys. It was clear to Molly that the two of them had talked about having kids and by the way they were acting they had probably already started trying.

"Have you thought of any names yet?" Lily asked smiling at Molly and Arthur.

Molly glanced at Arthur and smiled. "Fred and George. For Fabian and Gideon."

"There great names, Molly." James said. "You know what? I'll bet there trouble makers when they get older." James grinned at Molly.

"Oh, shut up, James. But I think you're right. Especially with you and Lily as godparents."

"What?" James asked. Lily looked just as shocked as her husband.

"We both want you to be their godparents, just in case anything should happen to me and Arthur. Will you be there for them?" Arthur asked them.

Lily hugged first Arthur and then Molly. "We'll be there for all of your kids. Even though, nothing will happen to you."


	19. Giving Up

_Since being named Fred and George's godparents, James and Lily had been spending a lot of time at the Burrow helping Molly and Arthur cope with the two new additions to their family. They were also trying for a baby of their own. However, with all of the good that was going on around them, James and Lily were also finding that bad things seemed to be finding them much easier than normal. It began with the death of James' parents, and then the death of Lily's father. James' parents had died in a battle with Death Eaters, while Lily's father had been killed in a car accident. These tragedies threw into sharp light everything that James and Lily could lose. The slaughter of Mary McDonald and her entire family just a few weeks after the funeral of Jack Evans was apparently the final straw for Lily Potter._

The funeral for Mary had been more difficult than Lily could ever have imagined. Besides the fact that instead of just one coffin, there were in fact five coffins. One for Mary, two for her parents, one for her little brother, and the final one for her grandmother. They had all been killed in the same attack on their home. Lily hadn't spoken at the funeral for her friend because she knew that she wouldn't be able to speak. First James' parents, then her father, and now Mary. Lily was losing so many people she loved and she wasn't sure if she would be able to bear the deaths of anyone else she cared for. At one point during the funeral, Lily had glanced at James beside her and had broken down even more. James hadn't been crying instead there'd been a kind of steely resolve in his eyes that Lily had never seen before. Not at his parent's funerals, and not even at the funeral for his young cousins and their parents. Lily had never seen him like that and she didn't like it very much.

After the funeral, they had attended the party that was meant to celebrate the lives that Mary and her family had lead. Lily had spent most of that so-called party standing in front of her father's grave alone. Lily had never been good at dealing with loss, especially when it was someone that she was so close too. Lily looked out over the top of her father's grave stone and swept her eyes along with the length of the cemetery. So many graves, so many dead. Lily wondered if the killing would ever stop. She doubted it. Throughout the entire war, Lily had been sure that she would be able to protect to everyone she loved, and she was only just coming to the realisation that she couldn't. That people she loved would die, and that people she loved would be hurt.

Lily took a deep shuddering breath and focused her attention back onto her father's grave. There was nothing remarkable about the headstone. Just a name and two dates. There was nothing to tell her that beneath that block of stone and dirt was her father's body, slowly rotting away. Lily closed her eyes when she felt the tears coming, she had cried enough that day and refused to cry anymore. Holding back the tears and the sobs, however, wasn't healthy and Lily was soon on her knees in the grass. Lily's hands hid her face and her sorrow. She didn't care if she never moved again. She didn't care if no one ever found her. Lily wanted to die.

…

James sat in a corner of the warm room with Sirius and Remus. Peter had just left saying that his mother needed him, what for he didn't say. None of them had noticed when, as he was leaving, he covered his left forearm with his right hand. James hadn't seen Lily for some time but imagined that she was with Alice somewhere. He could just see Frank standing with some people James didn't know. James had hardly said a word since they arrived at the house after the burials of Mary and her family, and he didn't plan on saying anything. Sirius was nursing a Butterbeer between his hands, though he hadn't had anything to drink. Remus was sitting in a chair with his hands folded neatly in his lap as he attempted to control his breathing. It was the night before the full moon and he was struggling more than usual.

In James' mind he could see his parents, and his cousins, and his aunt and uncle, all laughing and smiling and together. James hoped that they were together wherever they were. That's what really kept him going. That and those he loved who were still alive and breathing. Hurting and surviving. James didn't know how else to describe what he was doing. Hurting and surviving. James glanced at Sirius and knew that he was feeling much the same way. Remus was the same. All they were doing was hurting and surviving. However, James had the strangest feeling that Peter was the only Marauder who wasn't feeling that way. And although it should have unnerved him slightly, James didn't think anything of it. James simply assumed that Peter was acting like everything was okay because for him it was. No one in his family had been hurt or killed by a Death Eater and chances were none of them would. The Pettigrew family weren't considered pure bloods and so there for they weren't see as Blood Traitor's either.

James looked around the room just as Alice walked in with two women James didn't recognise. James allowed his gaze to wander until he realised that Lily hadn't been with Alice. James' head whipped around so fast to look at Alice Longbottom that he heard his neck crack. Sirius and Remus looked at him, frowning. James stared at Alice and then looked around again.

'Where's Lily?' There was a slight note of panic in James' voice. Enough to make Sirius and Remus look worried.

'What? Wasn't she with Alice?' Sirius was frowning as well.

'Alice is over there,' James pointed. 'I don't know where she is.'

Remus looked at Alice and then seemed to understand something. 'Relax, James, I think I know where she is,' Remus rested a hand on his friend's shoulder. 'I'll bring her back.' Remus glanced at Sirius, who nodded, and then quickly left.

'Where's he going?' James turned to Sirius.

'Dunno, mate. But it's Moony. He'll find her.' Sirius said calmingly. James nodded reluctantly and went back to staring.

…

Lily was still on her knees, crying into her hands, when someone laid a hand on her shoulder. Lily didn't even flinch. She was hoping that it was someone who wanted to kill her, and she wasn't about to stop them. The hand, however, remained there and was gentle and soothing. Lily leaned back and felt the person's arm go around her. Lily could tell straight away that it was Remus. Lily cried harder and Remus' grip tightened around her. Lily didn't know how long they stayed like that and she didn't care. But after a while, Remus spoke for the first time.

'You scared James, Lil.'

'I didn't mean to.' Lily croaked out. Her throat was dry for crying all day and night.

'I know, I know,' Remus gently rubbed her back. 'Don't give up, Lil.' There's always hope.'

Lily shook her head. 'No there isn't,' Lily drew in a deep breath in an attempt to calm herself down. 'My mother used to tell me that everything happens for a reason. That everyone has a purpose. What was Mary's purpose? Was her purpose to die? And what about my father and James' parents? What was their purpose?'

'I dunno, Lil, I dunno.' Remus closed his eyes and wished that he knew what to say. 'But you can't give up. Not now, think, Lily.'

'I know,' Lily wiped her face with her hand and turned to face Remus. In the light of the moon, Lily could see the scars that were normally invisible. Remus' eyes were gray but full of love and concern. 'Okay, I just… I don't know… if I can lose anyone else.'

Remus smiled slightly at her. 'I know, Lily. I feel the same way, but you have to try and keep going. I know it's hard. But you have to try. Please, Lily?'

Lily looked into Remus' eyes and something in them made her stop and think properly. 'Okay, Remy, okay.'

…

James was still worrying about Lily when Sirius suddenly smiled next to him. James followed Sirius' gaze and saw, almost running towards them, Lily. James jumped up and pulled her into his arms. Sirius stood as well and moved away with Remus to give them some privacy.

'I'm sorry, James.' Lily was sobbing against James shoulder.

'I know, Lily. Don't ever scare me like that again, okay?' James gently held Lily's face in his hands. 'I don't know what I'd do if I lost you, Lil.'

'You almost did tonight. I gave up, James, on everything. I didn't want to lose anyone else. I thought that maybe if I left I'd be okay. I was wrong.'

'If you left? To where?'

'I don't know.' Lily decided that it would be best if she didn't tell him that she had wanted to die. 'Anywhere. I'm sorry.'

'Don't be, James smiled at her. 'I'm never letting you leave me that easily.'


	20. Thrice

_When shall the drum beat end?_   
_When we are dead and buried?_   
_When all hope is lost and_   
_there is no home to go to?_

_When shall the drumming end?_   
_When the cities are lost and burning?_   
_When there is no one left alive and_   
_all thoughts of hope are dead?_

_Drum, drum, drum…_   
_The drumming never ceases._   
_The war drum beats and our_   
_hearts can bear no more…_

_When shall the drum beat end?_   
_When all we love is gone?_   
_When the heart beats and_   
_loves no more?_

_The drumming is unending and_   
_like the call of a crow_   
_sends a shiver down our spines._   
_When will we be free again?_

_When shall the drumming end?_   
_When the rain is falling ash,_   
_and the ground is covered with the dead?_   
_When there is no home, no shelter,_   
_no hope, nor love, nor light?_

_If that is when the drumming ends,_   
_then we shall meet again,_   
_if in Heaven, I do not know._

_All is lost and the drumming_   
_still does sound…_

…

Lily and James stood together facing Lord Voldemort for the third time. Neither of them could believe that they would have to go through all of this all over again. Neither of them wanted to. But somehow, they both knew that they had no choice. For surely, if they left then Voldemort would turn his rage on those they cared about and the nobility in them wouldn't let them. Voldemort had gotten more snake-like since they had last seen him. His nose no longer existed and his red eyes were bright than ever before. Lily couldn't tell if that was because of the fight or because he was more twisted. She was hoping it was the latter.

The fight around them seemed to have ceased. At least, there was no longer any noise. Lily could see people fighting but the sound of it all had died. She could see Remus and Sirius fighting back-to-back not too far away. Every so often one of them would glance their way to make sure they were okay. Lily felt James shiver slightly beside her. James hadn't taken his hazel eyes off Voldemort since he had arrived. And it didn't look as though he would. Lily herself took a deep breath and faced Voldemort.

'Once again we meet,' Voldemort's eyes lingered on James. 'I thought you were dead.' Voldemort didn't even look confused, let alone sound confused.

'I'm a very hard person to kill.' James replied calmly.

'Apparently,' Voldemort's gaze then shifted to Lily. 'I know I killed you.'

'You missed me.' Lily replied bravely but she didn't feel brave. She felt like a little girl staring up at bully. Lily didn't like the feeling.

'Yes, well, I'll be sure not to miss this time, won't I?' Tell me, how is it you survived?'

'Simple,' James spoke softly. 'You left to soon.'

'I'm not sure I understand.' For the first time, Voldemort was looking confused and very angry.

'If you hadn't left, I have no doubt that I would be dead. After all, a person can only take so much of the Cruciatus curse before their mind leaves their body in order to escape the pain. Your mistake was to leave me before my mind did.' Lily didn't remember James telling her the bit about his mind.

'Oh, really? Then how did you get your mind back?'

'I had help from a friend of mine,' James smiled. 'Something you wouldn't know anything about. Seeing as you have no friends.'

' I am Lord Voldemort and I have no need of friends.'

'Why? Cause you've got followers? It ain't the same thing, Voldemort, and you know it.' James was sounding incredibly brave but Lily felt the shiver that ran through James when Voldemort fixed him with a particularly horrible stare.

'Followers are more loyal than friends could ever be.'

James, the idiot, actually laughed at this. 'As if! You will always be alone. You may be powerful and scary but you're nothing. You're pathetic.'

'James!' Lily couldn't believe that James was being so rash. 'Do you want to give him a reason?'

'Yes, Potter, I would listen to the Mudblood if I were you. She's making sense.'

'You'd find a reason to kill us anyway.' James replied stubbornly.

'True, but I think that I will take my time in killing you now. I was going to show you some mercy and kill you quickly and easily but now? No, I think slow and painful is the way to go, don't you?'

'Yes, my… my, Lord…' Lily, under the Imperious curse, was forced to mutter.

'Good, good,' Voldemort turned his eyes on James. 'And now, she is under my control. Tell me, Potter, did you ever imagine that you would have to kill your own wife?'

James' eyes were fixed on Lily. She had gone rigid and he knew that she was trying to throw off the curse. Lily's bright green eyes were now misted over but behind the cloudiness was something else entirely. Determination.

'Lily, my dear, would you be so kind as to kill your husband? Good girl.' Voldemort added as Lily turned towards James and pointed her wand at him.

'Lily?' James was beginning to panic despite himself. And he didn't care if Voldemort knew. 'Lily? Come on, Lil. Don't listen to him, ignore him, Lil, ignore him, please.' Tears were coming to James' eyes as he begged his wife not to kill him. Lily was obviously trying very hard to do what James was saying but Voldemort was too strong.

' _Avada_ … _Kedavra_ …' James ducked just in time and turned to see the jet of green light slam into a Death Eater. This was too dangerous. If James kept dodging Lily's curse it would eventually hit someone they knew and James couldn't have that.

' _Sonorus_.' James magnified his voice. 'Everyone needs to leave immediately.' Everyone, Death Eaters included stopped fighting and looked around at James. Everyone in the Order of the Phoenix saw Lily with her wand pointed at James and Voldemort with his wand pointed at Lily. They all understood at once and all but two people left. 'Please, leave.' James begged Sirius and Remus who shook their heads at him. James opened his mouth to speak again but had to duck as Lily sent another curse his way. The curse hit yet another Death Eater and several of the more pathetic Death Eaters disappeared. Not that Voldemort noticed. He was too busy putting all of his energy into forcing Lily to kill James. ' _Quietus_.' James pointed his wand at Lily, tears silently running down his cheeks. 'Forgive me..' James said in a hoarse voice. 'Forgive me… _Crucio…'_

Lily instantly froze and then, seconds, later let out the most heart-wrenching scream James had ever heard. James could vaguely hear Voldemort's cold laughter. Sirius and Remus watched as James fell to his knees and Lily's body was lifted into the air. They glanced at each other and came to a mutual understanding. At the same time, the two of them began firing curses at the silent and un-moving Death Eaters. Those who weren't hit began to fight back. Voldemort glanced at them then looked back down at James who was cradling Lily in his arms, tears still coursing down his cheeks.

…

'Kill your husband _… kill him…'_

_No, no, no, no, no,_

' _Kill him…. Kill him!'_

_NO_

_KILL YOUR HUSBAND_

_I'm trying, James, I'm trying, I don't want to kill you, I love you…_

_KILL HIM_

Avada _… no…_ Kedavra _…_

_I'm sorry, James, help me, please, help me, please, help me, please… help… me…_

_KILL HIM_

_I don't want…_ Avada _… no…_ Kedavra _…_

_Duck, James, duck, please, James, kill me… please… help me…_

_KILL HIM_

Everyone needs to leave immediately

_James? What are you doing? I see, I can't kill anyone I know… James? I can't… throw… it off… help…_

_KILL HIM_

_Please... help... me... please... help... me... please... help... me... please... help... me... please... help... me... please... help... me... please... help... me... please... help... me... please… help… me… I can't stop…_

Forgive me

_Of course… kill me… please… help… me… please… help… me…_

Forgive me

_Of course… kill me… please… help… me… please… help… me…_

Crucio

_James? What? I don't understand…_

_The pain… Kill me… please… help… me… please… help…_

_I'm flying… I don't like flying… kill me… help me… James…_

_I'm falling… I don't like falling… kill me… help me… James…_

_Darkness… am I dead? Kill me…_

…

Voldemort looked down at James and Lily and something stirred within him. Something that had lain dormant since his years at Hogwarts. His heart. It was clear, even to him, that James loved Lily more than anything else in the world and, for a moment, Voldemort felt remorse. But he angrily pushed away the feeling and quelled the return of his useless heart. He could not afford to begin feeling anything towards anyone. Especially not the two figures on the ground before him. Voldemort looked away from them with disgust plain on his face. Instead, he turned his attention on the half-breed and the Blood Traitor.

They were the only ones of the Order who had remained behind and neither of them, Voldemort was glad to see, had noticed what had happened to their friends. Perhaps he should give them the news himself. Voldemort raised his wand and commanded his Death Eaters to stop fighting them. Voldemort then bound the two men in ropes and watched their wands clatter uselessly to the ground. Voldemort brought them over to him and saw both of them look down at their friends. One dead, and one dying. Voldemort allowed the men to fall to the floor and silenced them before they could speak. He did not bother silencing Potter as he was to overcome with grief to speak or to really notice anything.

'You have lost, Potter. Now do you understand? You and your pathetic Order will never beat me, for I am Lord Voldemort and you shall all bow down before me. I am your master now and you will obey me. You have fought me gallantly and your bravery shall not be forgotten in the new world I will create. You are stronger than many of my loyal Death Eaters and you shall make them stronger. You have lost your wife, and you will lose your friends. You are helpless and at my mercy. I am a kind lord. You will flourish under my tutelage.' Voldemort pointed his wand at Potter and forced him to look up. Voldemort knelt down so that they were eye to eye.

'Tell me, Potter, what will choose? Will you join me and live? Or will you resist me and die? Keep in mind that if you decide to resist me then your friends over there will die a most painful death,' Voldemort indicated Black and Lupin and that was the first time that Potter had noticed them there. 'And I can promise you that they will not die by my hand. They will die at the hands of those who want them dead.' Voldemort stood and let his eyes travel over his Death Eaters. 'Ah, yes, of course. Sirius Black, you will be killed by a cousin of yours. Surely you can guess who I mean?' The look of hatred in Black's eyes told Voldemort that he did indeed know. One of the Death Eaters stepped forward and stood next to Black and happily watched his feeble attempts to break his bonds. 'And for Remus Lupin, the werewolf, an old friend perhaps? No, I have a better idea. Greyback.' Lupin's eyes grew wide at the name of the werewolf who had bitten him. A hideous man stepped from the ranks and took his position next to Lupin. Voldemort turned back to Potter. 'What is your choice, Potter? You or them?'

…

_Me or them?_

James vaguely wondered when Remus and Sirius had been caught and dragged over. Neither of them were looking at him now. Sirius was staring up at the Death Eater next to him and, judging from the look of hatred on Sirius' face, James assumed that it was Bellatrix. Remus' face was devoid of hatred. Instead there was unimaginable fear on his face and he looked years older than he was. James couldn't take his eyes off his friends, his brothers, and he refused to look up at Voldemort. Instead James gently lay Lily down and stood up slowly, still clutching onto his wand. Voldemort smiled coldly at him.

'Let them go.' James said slowly and clearly. From the corner of his eye, he saw Sirius and Remus finally look at him. James didn't look back.

'You will join me?' Voldemort still had that cold smile on his face.

'Let them go.' James said more forcefully.

Voldemort's smiled slipped slightly. 'Not until you say that you will join me.'

'Let them go.' James pointed his wand in their direction. He saw Sirius and Remus glance at each other.

'Join me.'

'Let them go.'

'Join me.'

'LET THEM GO!' James finally lost control slightly and unintentionally sent a spell at the four of them. Greyback and the Death Eater were thrown off their feet and flew twenty feet before landing heavily on the ground. Sirius and Remus were thrown back only a foot. Voldemort watched with a blank face before turning back to James.

'Interesting use of magic. Adults don't usually do accidental magic.'

'Let them go.' James was quiet and calm again. James could see Greyback and the Death Eater resume their positions next to Sirius and Remus.

'No, I don't think I will now. No matter what your choice. Greyback, Bella, do what you want with them.'

'NO!' James turned to them and raised his wand again but it was yanked out of his hand. Greyback was smiling as he grabbed Remus and lifted him to his feet.

'Shame it ain't full moon time. Then we'd have some real fun, wouldn't we, Lupin?' Greyback ran a dirty fingernail along Remus' cheek and drew a line a blood. 'I remember when you was just a kid and I but you. I'll bet you remember.'

Bellatrix wasn't bothering with such niceties. She hadn't even moved. She was staring down at Sirius no doubt trying to think of the worst possible spell she could use on him. Voldemort waved his wand and the bonds that were gagging the two men fell away. He wanted some entertainment. He wanted to hear their screams.

'Got anythin' to say, Lupin?' Greyback bared his teeth at Remus who shivered. Instead of answering Remus looked up at the darkening sky and then at James. James frowned and looked up as well. Night had come and the moon light was hidden behind several layers of clouds. James suddenly realised Greyback's mistake. And Voldemort's. Sirius seemed to have realised as well because he smiled quite evilly and stared up at Bellatrix.

'Just one thing, Greyback,' Remus turned his eyes to face Voldemort. 'Were you any good at Astronomy at Hogwarts?'

'What has that ridiculous subject have to do with anything?'

'I'll take that as a no, then, shall I?'

'You should be running.' Sirius was speaking to all of the Death Eaters but his eyes were fixed on Bellatrix, who suddenly looked up at the sky, just as the moon became visible.

'Greyback, you idiot!' With Bellatrix's words everyone looked up at the moon and then very quickly looked back at Remus and Greyback, both of whom had already began transforming.

'Time for you to go, Tom.' Voldemort turned his eyes on the new arrival. Albus Dumbledore stood before them. Voldemort looked as though he was going to say something in return but Remus let out a howl as he finally fully transformed and the bonds holding him broke. Instantly Voldemort and every single Death Eater was gone. Dumbledore stopped, lifted Lily in his arms, and left. James grabbed his fallen wand and removed Sirius' bonds. Sirius immediately transformed into Padfoot. James collected Sirius and Remus' wands and stowed all three in his pocket before transforming into Prongs. Remus and Greyback were locked in a fight and it didn't look as though either of them were going to give up. Just as Padfoot and Prongs raced forward towards their friend Greyback sank his teeth into Remus' neck…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The poem at the beginning of this chapter is called _The Drum_. I wrote the poem myself especially for this chapter.


	21. Healing

_Two weeks._

_That's how long it had been since that dreadful night of the full moon. After Dumbledore had left with Lily, James and Sirius had done what they could to help Remus in his fight with Greyback. It hadn't, unfortunately, been enough, however. Greyback had attacked Remus with such ferocity that James and Sirius had found it hard to get anywhere near the two werewolves without sustaining injuries themselves. And they had, of course, received many injuries. None of them were life threatening, thankfully, but they were enough to cause the two of them great pain and Remus much guilt. The guilt wasn't unfounded, as he constantly reminded them. Remus had accidentally caused many of their injuries. And he refused to forgive himself, no matter what anyone said to him._

_When Dumbledore had taken Lily away from the fight he wasn't sure if she was even alive but he had gone to St. Mungo's anyway, just in case. And, in the end, it was a good thing he had. Lily was, somehow, miraculously, alive. She was, however, badly injured and needed a lot of care and attention in that first twenty-four hours. She was continuously waking up and screaming. Every time this happened it took almost an hour to calm her back down and get her to go back to sleep. Lily wasn't able to take a dreamless sleep potion because it just didn't work. Her nightmares were too vivid, too scary. Nothing could get her to calm down except for James' reassuring voice._

_Two weeks was a long time to watch those you cared for suffer so much. James and Sirius couldn't bear it and would often disappear together for an hour at a time so that they could calm themselves down. They were no use to Lily and Remus nervous and tired. James and Sirius would only leave if both of them were asleep and that actually happened more than they had anticipated. By the end of the two weeks, Sirius had acquired his flying motorbike and James had lost eight bets with Sirius, all of which related to the bike._

_What finally pulled Remus out of his depression and guilt was a visit from James and Sirius when they were both completely healed…_

Remus glanced up as the door to his room opened but looked away almost immediately when James and Sirius entered. Remus hadn't yet forgiven himself for causing them pain, even if they said it was fine. James sat down next to Remus' bed while Sirius sat on a table which was leaning against the wall.

'You can't ignore us forever, Moony.' Although Sirius was smiling there was still concern in his eyes.

'I can try.' Remus didn't lift his head to look at his friends. The last time he had seen them, both James and Sirius had long cuts on their faces and necks. The evidence of what Remus had done. If he was honest he wasn't sure if it had been him or Greyback who had attacked their faces but it didn't matter. He had hurt his friends, again, and he didn't want their pity or forgiveness.

'But you'll fail,' laughed James. 'Come on, Moony, we're fine. The three of us.' James lightly hit Remus' arm. 'Our cuts have healed, Moony.' James added slowly. There were light scars from the cuts but thankfully the cuts hadn't been deep enough to leave anything obviously permanent.

Remus slowly lifted his eyes and looked first at Sirius across from him and then James beside him. Both of them were smiling widely at him and neither of them was showing any signs that they had survived getting in between two fighting werewolves. Remus knew that they must have scars but he couldn't see them, and if he couldn't see them then he doubted if the rest of the world would. A spread across Remus' tired features for the first time in two weeks. Remus opened his mouth to speak but couldn't think of anything to say to them. It was Sirius who broke the silence.

'You have to hurry up and get the hell outta here 'cause you gotta see my bike.' Sirius grinned at him and Remus couldn't help but laugh.

'And how many times have you fallen off then?' Remus asked glancing at James who smiled.

'Not many,' James threw Sirius a look. 'Alright, alright, I've fallen off a few times. Happy?' Sirius glared at the other two men who were laughing heartily at him.

'And how many times have you crashed?'

'A few.' Sirius muttered.

As the conversation continued Remus was suddenly overwhelmed with happiness and joy. For almost his entire life he had been ostracised by humanity and he had, over time, gotten used to that. Remus had long ago accepted that he would never live a normal life and that he would never truly be accepted in civilised society. Remus had never in his wildest dreams thought that he would have friends who cared for him even though they knew what he was capable of during the full moon. Despite all the injuries and all the long nights, they had stuck by his side and Remus knew that he would never be able to thank them enough.

…

_What finally caused Lily to awake from her depression was something else entirely. For two weeks, she had had a continuous stream of visitors, including her mother. But it was one particular visit that woke her up…_

Lily had been very comfortably lying back staring out the window onto a beautiful, sunny day. Lily knew it wasn't exactly real but it still felt good to see. She heard the door open but, assuming that it was James, didn't look around. She heard the person take two steps into the room and then stop. _That's not James._ Lily finally turned around and froze. Standing before, looking as though she would rather be in the centre of an exploding volcano, was Petunia Dursley.

'Tuney?' Lily glanced behind Petunia and saw James standing in the doorway. He had a large goofy grin on his face and was looking mightily pleased with himself. Lily turned her eyes back to Petunia. Petunia's lips had formed a thin line, but when she saw Lily watching her, she forced her mouth into something that vaguely resembled a smile.

'Lily. This idiot turned up on my doorstep this morning,' Petunia threw a thumb over her shoulder at James who winked at her. 'He was wearing a bright purple cloak, for goodness sake.' Petunia's mouth re-formed the tight line and Lily only just managed to stifle a laugh. 'Anyway, he told me that you were in hospital and said that should come see you. Otherwise, he'd let the entire street know that he was my brother-in-law.' It was very clear that Petunia didn't appreciate this act; Lily on the other hand loved it.

'Oh, I'm sorry, Tuney; I didn't know he was going to do that.' Lily thought she sounded sincere, and apparently Petunia agreed with her, because she sat down in the chair next to Lily's bed.

'So, what happened?'

Lily glanced at James who shrugged. 'Um… I'm not really sure how I can explain it to you. You don't like me talking about my world.' Lily added at Petunia's confused expression.

'I see. Mum told me about this… war that's going on,' suddenly an expression that Lily hadn't seen on Petunia's face for years appeared. Concern, concern for Lily. 'She didn't say much though I figured that's only because you didn't tell her much. Probably a good thing. She doesn't need that kind of worry. I assume that has something to do with why you're in… here?'

'Yes,' Lily stared at Petunia and then, for whatever reason, she told her sister everything. As Lily talked Petunia watched her silently, only asking for clarification for some things. Other than that, Petunia didn't say a word. In the doorway, James carefully watched the expressions on his wife's face. Every so often Lily would glance up at him and he would smile back at her, giving her the reassurance she so desperately needed. When she had finished Lily fell quiet and waited for Petunia to speak first. It took a while but finally Petunia started to speak.

'Well, it sounds as though you're in a whole lot of trouble then. But I suppose I can't stop you fighting, especially now that I know why. But I want you to be careful, Lily. We may not exactly be friends anymore, but you're still my sister and I don't want you to be killed because of this battle. And I'm sorry that I haven't been there for you during all of this, especially when you lost your friend. I wish that we were closer but I think that we're just too different. I want you to promise me something. Promise me that this war of yours won't affect my life. I don't want to be caught up in it. I don't want to lose you but I don't want to lose Vernon either, and I certainly don't want to die. Besides,' at this Petunia laid a hand gently on her stomach. 'I don't want my child killed because my sister's a witch. Can you promise me that?'

'I… well, yes, of course. And congratulations, Tuney.'

'Thank you. If you'll excuse me I have to go. I have things that need to be done. Get well soon and keep your promise. Goodbye.' With that, Petunia left, with a curt nod in James' direction.

'Well, that went well.'

'No, it didn't. She still hates me.' Lily sighed.

James went and sat down on the bed next to her. 'I know, but she came to see you. That's good, right?' Lily knew that James wanted to make sure that he hadn't done the wrong thing.

'Yeah, it was good seeing her again and telling her the truth about everything that's going on. But I wish that it had gone differently.'

'I was kind of hoping that as well,' James flung on arm around Lily's shoulders and held her close to him. 'I was hoping that if she acted like she was actually related to you then it might somehow help with the nightmares.'

'It still might, James. You never know you're luck.' Lily sighed, also hoping that she could get rid of the nightmares. 'How's Remus?'

'Better now that me and Padfoot are healed.' James smiled. 'You have to get out of here. Sirius is dying to show off his flying motorcycle.'

Lily laughed. 'Well, then, I suppose I better convince these Healers that I'm better.'

'Yeah, cause we gotta get back to the baby making.'


	22. Surprise!

_It had been a month since Lily and Remus had been allowed out of St. Mungo's. In that time they both showed the correct amount of appreciation for Sirius' bike, but both refused to have a go on it. Lily returned to her normal job, while Remus continued looking for one. Every now and then he was given a job but as always when his employer found out about his lycanthropy he was fired. The world continued to spin and Voldemort and his supporters became even more brazen in their attacks on Muggles. The Muggles, of course, had no idea about the truth behind the disappearances and deaths of their loved ones. However, even the stupidest Muggles were beginning to notice that a lot of strange things were happening in the world. Despite the deaths and heartache, there was always good news. As Lily found out one morning, almost exactly one month after being discharged…_

Lily, Molly and Alice were all out together enjoying a lovely lunch in a Muggle restaurant. Molly was several months pregnant with her sixth child and was had just finished talking about the horrible morning sickness she had just gotten through. Although this her sixth time going through it all Molly still wasn't used to the morning sickness. While Molly had spoken, Alice had been concentrating solely on the food in front of her, though she didn't eat a bit. When Molly did stop, Alice looked up.

'Molly, may I ask you something?'

'Of course.' Molly shoved a large piece of chicken in her mouth.

'Um, well, I was just wondering, how do you… know?'

'I'm not sure I understand.'

Alice sighed. 'How do you if you're pregnant?'

'Oh, that's easy. The morning sickness has always given it away for me. Why do you ask?' Molly was looking very suspicious and Lily was feeling the same way.

'Well, I think that I… might be… you know, pregnant.' Alice glanced up at Lily and Molly to see them both staring open-mouthed at her. 'I've been sick every morning and I'm going to the doctor today to check.' Alice bit her lip.

'Wow, congratulations, Ally!' Lily hugged her friend and Molly did the same.

'I have to say though that I'm a little worried. Frank and I have talked about it, but we had decided to wait for a while longer. And then a while ago, well, you know.' Alice had turned bright red and looked down.

'Relax, Alice, I'm sure that Frank'll be over the moon.' Molly said reassuringly.

'I hope so,' Alice checked her watch. 'Well, I have to go if I'm to make this appointment. I'll let you guys know what happens. C'ya.'

Alice waved at them and bounded out of the restaurant. Molly and Lily laughed at her abrupt exit.

'Well, that's wonderful news for her and Frank. To be honest, I think Frank's mother has been bugging him for a grandchild since they got married.' Lily said, her eyes still on the door Alice had left through moments earlier.

'It wouldn't surprise me. Anyway, what about you?'

'Me? What about me?'

'You and James. Are you trying?'

'Yes, but nothing's happened.'

'That's what you think.'

'What are you on about, Molly?' Lily sighed. 'I haven't had any morning sickness.'

'Your point? You don't always get morning sickness. When I was pregnant with Bill I had no idea until five months in. And I only found out because Muriel made me take a pregnancy test.'

'She made you? Why?'

'I have no idea. I think just really wanted us to have some kids. Anyway, my point is you really don't know for sure unless you do a test. Simple as that.'

…

The next morning, Lily left the doctor's office and headed straight for Remus' house, hidden away in the hills. When Lily knocked on the door, a window high above her head opened and Remus stuck his head out.

'Lily? What are you doing here?'

'Can I talk to you, Remy? It's important.'

'Yeah, give me one second.' Remus' head disappeared back inside the window and a few minutes later the door in front of her opened and Lily threw herself into Remus' arms. 'Lily? Is everything okay?' Remus felt Lily nod and he pulled her inside. The two of them went into Remus' kitchen and sat down at the table. 'Do you want anything, Lil?'

'What? Oh, no, thank you.' Lily smiled brightly at him, and Remus calmed down slightly. He had, for a while, been thinking that Lily came bearing some horrible news. The smile on her face told him otherwise.

'Okay, so what's going on then?'

'I've just been to see a Muggle doctor.'

'What? Why? Is everything okay?'

'Yes, now shut up and let me finish.'

'Sorry.'

'Thank you. I just to see a Muggle doctor and I had a test done.'

'Hang on, Lil. Why do I get the feeling that this is something you should be telling James first?'

'Probably because I should be.'

'So why are you telling me?'

'Remy, I may be married to James but you were my friend first.'

'By that reasoning you should be telling…' Remus stopped himself as Lily's eyes flicked downwards.

'Severus?' Lily looked up and Remus nodded. 'Well, to be honest, I don't think he'd be very happy this.' Lily swallowed remembering everything he had said to her about James over the years.

'Oh and why not?'

'You'll understand if you let me actually tell you.' Remus smiled and help up his hands in defeat. Lily smirked and continued 'Thank you. I had the test done out of curiosity. Remy, I'm pregnant!'

Without saying a word Remus jumped up and embraced Lily tightly. 'Congratulations, Lil!' he said when he finally let her go. 'But you definitely have told your husband first.'

'Yes, well I wanted to tell you first, so too bad.'

'Not complaining. And when are you going to inform the father? Assuming of course, that James is the father.'

Lily lightly hit Remus arm, laughing. 'Of course he is, you twit. And I'm going to see him now to tell him actually. But I was hoping you would be there.'

'Why? In case you need a mediator?'

'No. I just want you there. Sirius will be there as well, no doubt. Please, Remy?'

'Of course, Lily. Do you want me to go now, so it doesn't look suspicious?'

'Yes, please.'

'Alright, I'll see you there.' Remus hugged Lily once more before Apparating.

Lily waited half an hour before following him.

…

When Lily did arrive she found James, Sirius and Remus all together in James and Sirius' office. Remus looked around when he heard her come in and winked at her encouragingly. Lily smiled at the three of them and said hello.

'Lily? What brings you to our humble office?' Sirius asked. Lily shot him a glare and then looked at James. He frowned and made his way over to her.

'Lily?'

'Hi.' Lily smiled again.

'Hi…' James dragged out the word in confusion. Although Lily did visit them during the day it was usually during his lunch hour and not the middle of the day.

Lily's eyes flicked downwards as she steeled herself for what was to come. Although James wanted baby, like all wives, Lily wasn't sure how he'd take the news. 'I… um… I just had an appointment with a doctor. Nothing serious,' she added quickly when she saw the worry on James' face. 'I just wanted to get a… a test done to be sure about something and it came back positive.' Lily took a deep breath and looked at her husband in the eye. She then took James' hand in hers. 'James, honey, we're going to have a baby.'

For a second James didn't understand what Lily had just told him. It was as though he had heard her from a great distance away and his brain was trying to catch what had been said. When Lily said his name and he saw the worry on her face, however, it seemed to click. _I'm going to be a father._ James grinned stupidly at Lily for a second before swooping her up into his arms and swinging her around the room. Lily held onto him tightly and laughed happily. Sirius and Remus, having heard what Lily said, were grinning madly as well. James finally put Lily down and hugs and 'congratulations' were said.

…

Later that night, when James and Lily were finally alone, Lily lay in her husband's arms, a hand on her belly. The grin on James' face hadn't slipped once since she had first told him the news. The grin had only gotten larger as he told the happy news to everyone who would listen to him. After they had all finished work, the four of them, along with several of their friends and Lily's mother had gone out to celebrate at a Muggle restaurant. Now, at home and in the quiet, the fears came into Lily's mind.

'James?'

'Yeah, Lil?'

'I'm scared.' Lily whispered. James tightened his arms around her. He had been waiting for this.

'Me too, Lil.'

'That's not really helping, Potter.'

'I know, but would you have believed me if I said otherwise?'

'No.' Lily sighed. 'How can we protect our baby if we can hardly protect ourselves?'

'I'm not sure, Lil. But I'll think of something, I promise.'

'I don't want to go into hiding.'

'Me neither. That will only be an absolute last resort,' James kissed the top of Lily's head. 'We'll be just fine, Lily. You'll see.'


	23. The Prophecy

_Lily had finally "popped" and, along with Molly and Alice, was gladly showing off her baby bump. Lily absolutely loved being pregnant. She especially loved all of the attention that she was getting off James, not to mention Sirius and Remus. Sirius was under the impression that he would be named godfather, even though Lily had told him she'd rather nominate the giant squid as godfather. Sirius pointed out that she'd said the same thing about dating James and she was now marrying him. Sirius had been received a Stinging hex for that. The days passed by them quietly and nothing, it seemed, could destroy the overwhelming happiness that they had for a change. But good things can't last forever. The happiness they had been experiencing came crashing down around them one day when Dumbledore called them to his office one afternoon near the end of July…_

Lily walked slowly leaning on James. Her feet and ankles were killing her and she wasn't used to carrying around so much extra weight. Her precious baby was due in a few days and she was now so large that she needed James help to move around. According to Molly this was completely normal. Lily wasn't so sure about that.

The halls of Hogwarts were unlike Lily and the boys had ever known. There was absolute silence in the castle. The new school year had not yet started and the silence was deafening. Not even James and Sirius could penetrate it, though they tried hard. Remus walked along beside Lily quietly. He was happy to be at Hogwarts, despite the silence. Hogwarts had always been more of a home to him than anywhere else. Even his own house could match the feeling of Hogwarts for him. Lily couldn't blame him. Lily could tell that Sirius felt the same way about Hogwarts as Remus did but he wasn't showing it. As always Sirius was putting on a brave face, which they could all see through.

Dumbledore greeted them warmly and asked Lily how she was coping. Despite the smile Lily could see concern and fear in his eyes as he looked upon them all, as though he knew this may be the last time he saw them. Dumbledore instructed them to sit and, once they had, he faced them gravely.

'I'm not sure if you are aware of this, but a new position opened up at Hogwarts this year. The Divination position,' Dumbledore smiled when Sirius rolled his eyes. 'Anyway, I was holding a meeting with one Sybil Trelawney, quite an interesting woman. Alas, most of the interview had been for nothing but just as I was about to leave, Sybil went into a trance and made a prophecy.'

'Please don't say you fell for it.' Sirius said looking at the professor with a look of hope on his face.

'I do believe her, Sirius,' Dumbledore took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes before replacing them and continuing. 'She did not remember making the prophecy afterwards, which, as I understand, is the mark of a true prophecy. You may scoff now, Sirius, but you won't once you hear it. Unfortunately there was a Death Eater at the Hog's Head who must have heard some of it, which means that Voldemort will now know of it.'

'The Hog's Head?' Sirius asked. 'You held an interview in the Hog's Head?'

'Not my choice, and I wish now that I had not agreed. But as I said, a Death Eater overheard the beginning but was discovered before he managed to hear the end of it.'

'What was the prophecy?' Remus spoke quietly.

'Sybil said: _"The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches… Born to those who have thrice defied him, born as the seventh month dies… and the Dark Lord will mark him as his equal, but he will have power the Dark Lord knows not… and either must die at the hand of the other for neither can live while the other survives."_ '

The silence in the castle was even worse. It seemed as though the entire world had fallen silent to Dumbledore utter those words. The silence remained even though Dumbledore had stopped speaking. No one wanted to speak what was on their minds. Lily was clutching onto James' hand while her other hand rested on her large belly, protecting the child within. James had closed his eyes, as if wanting to block out the world and Dumbledore's words. Sirius and Remus were battling with their own emotions, both desperate to keep them in check for the sake of their friends. For a long time no one even dared to move. Predictably, it was Dumbledore who broke the silence.

'You aren't the only ones who have thrice defied Voldemort but he will assume that it means you. We must act quickly if we are to stop him from getting to you.'

'What it does it mean?' James spoke softly, his eyes still closed. 'What does the prophecy mean?'

'As it says "the one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches".'

'Not that bit,' James opened his eyes to look at the professor. 'The power it mentions. What does that mean?'

'I'm afraid I don't know. It could mean anything.' Dumbledore said frowning. James nodded and closed his eyes again.

'The last bit. What about the last bit?' Lily said forcefully.

'Your child will either be killed by Voldemort, or kill Voldemort.'

'Kill or be killed,' Lily muttered. 'Mark him as his equal?'

'Again, I'm not sure. Prophecies are never very clear.'

'Of course not.' Sirius muttered darkly.

'Quite. I think it would be best if the two of you went into hiding immediately. If not for your selves, then for the sake of your child,' Dumbledore added as James opened his mouth to speak. 'The Fidelius Charm will do the trick.' Lily nodded slowly and then abruptly stood up and left the office. 'I am sorry about all of this, James.'

'It's not your fault, Professor. Excuse me.' James stood and went after Lily.

'Sir, how much did the Death Eater hear?' Remus asked.

'I think up to Voldemort marking the child as his equal.'

'So they didn't hear the bit about having a power Voldemort doesn't know?'

'I don't think so. Why do you ask?'

'It might be an advantage that's all.' Remus replied shrugging.

…

Lily carefully lowered herself onto the rock and looked out over the lake. The sun was still high in the sky and it reflected beautifully on the still surface of the lake. As expected James joined her. Neither of them spoke for while. What could they say? Lily, no longer able to bear the silence, spoke.

'Do you remember all the afternoons we spent sitting here?'

James laughed. 'Yeah, I do. I remember everything.'

'So do I,' Lily sighed. 'It seems as though that was all a lifetime ago, when really it was just a few years. I miss those days, James. I miss those carefree days. I wish, now more than ever, that we could go back there and never leave, you know. Spend the rest of our lives without a care in the world. No war, no pain, no death, nothing bad. Is that really so much to ask for?'

'No, but we can never go back to the way things were. I would like to though. I never thought that I could miss Hogwarts so much but I do. It was fun here. The war was like a story. Something we knew about but nothing that could get to us while we were here. The stories never seemed quite real. And now the stories are memories. Memories that won't leave us be.'

'I wish we could take it all back. Every fight with Voldemort. I want to take all of that back but I don't suppose we'd be allowed to, would we? Everything happens for a reason. That's what my mother used to say. Not any more though thankfully,' Lily put her head on James' shoulder and he wound an arm around her. 'What are we going to do? I don't want to go into hiding. That was always going to be a last resort, wasn't it?'

'Yes, and we have no choice. If we don't hide Voldemort will find us and kill us now before the baby is born. And then where would we be? You heard Dumbledore, our baby is going to grow up and kill Voldemort,' James frowned. 'Not that I want him too, but it'd be something wouldn't it? A Potter killing Voldemort. After everything that's happened it seems rather fitting, doesn't it?'

'I don't want it to fit, James. It's not right. That burden shouldn't be placed on a child. It shouldn't be placed on anyone.'

'I know, Lil. I know.' James and Lily fell silent and didn't speak or even move until they were joined by Sirius and Remus. They didn't say anything either. They couldn't think of anything to say. The four of them were wrapped up in their own separate thoughts. Lily had long since closed her eyes though her hands were still moving in slow, soft circles over her belly. After some time Lily suddenly sat up and gripped James and Remus' arms.

'Lily? What's wrong?' James asked. The three boys were looking at the wide-eyed Lily. Suddenly she closed her eyes and started breathing heavily.

'Get… me… to the… hospital…'

'What for?' James asked stupidly. Remus rolled his eyes and stood up.

'My water just broke, you moron! That's why!'

…

Several hours later, on July 31, a new baby boy came into the world. The baby was instantly loved by his parents, his grandmother, and his three uncles. The baby, with messy black hair and bright green eyes, was named Harry James Potter. And according to his godfather, Sirius Black, there was no better name for the one who was more powerful than Voldemort. This remark, though whispered, did not go unnoticed by one member of the group who stared wide-eyed at the harmless looking baby.


	24. Choosing a Keeper

_Choosing a Keeper was harder than James and Lily thought it would be. They had so many people they trusted with their lives that they couldn't choose. James and Lily had asked Dumbledore to be Secret Keeper but he had refused, saying that he didn't believe he was a good candidate. James and Lily had accepted his reason but it left them with the problem of who to use. To them there were only three options: Sirius, Remus or Peter. James trusted the three of them absolutely. Lily, on the other hand, didn't. Oh, she trusted Sirius and Remus without question, but she wasn't so sure about Peter. He was a good friend to her and James but something told her that Peter wouldn't be able to keep their location a secret if pressured. However, Lily didn't express this fear to James as she didn't want to upset him. Instead they focused all of their energy into learning how to look after their precious little bundle of joy._

One morning, a few days after Harry had been born, Remus was standing outside the hospital's nursery, watching the baby Harry. For the past few days, someone had always been with Harry just in case Voldemort tried anything while he was still in the hospital. Remus had been watching Harry so intently that he hardly noticed when someone stood next to him. When he finally realised, Remus turned to face the man, with his wand in his hand, only to find Severus Snape standing there.

'Snape? What are you doing here?' Remus asked surprised.

'Visiting.' Snape sneered. Snape's eyes were focused entirely on baby Harry. Remus didn't put his wand away.

'Why?'

Snape rolled his eyes. 'Lily was my friend.'

'Yeah, _was._ So, why are you here now?'

Snape turned to face Remus. 'Is it a crime to visit the hospital?'

'Depends on the reason.' Remus glanced at Harry sleeping peacefully in his cot.

'Lily was my friend. I'm allowed to visit my friend's child.'

'I suppose so.' Remus looked back at Snape. 'So long as you don't go see Lily.'

Snape slowly faced Remus again. 'And why not? Because Potter' up there?'

'Partly,' answered Remus. 'But he's not the only one up there. Sirius is there as well.

'Black doesn't scare me.' Snape interrupted.

'And I don't think Lily will want to see you.' Remus added pretending that Snape hadn't spoken. At Remus' comment Snape's features tightened and he looked at Remus through narrowed eyes.

'And I suppose you're going to stop me going to see her, are you?' Snape sneered.

'If I have too.' Remus tightened his grip on his wand. Snape noticed the move and smirked.

'You can't stop me, Lupin. I'm better at duelling than you. And, aren't you feeling a little… weak? The full moon is tonight, isn't it?'

Remus swallowed but didn't back down. 'Yes, it is. But I'm still strong enough to fit you if need be, Severus. But please, just leave. There doesn't need to be any trouble. Especially not here,' Remus gestured to the babies in the nursery, in particular Harry, who was now awake and watching them curiously. 'Something tells me that Lily won't appreciate that very much.'

'Hmm, perhaps,' Snape glanced at the babies and stopped suddenly. He had seen Harry's open eyes. The bright green eyes that were so like Lily's. Remus glanced at Harry but kept his eyes on Snape.

'Leave, Severus,' whispered Remus. 'And I won't tell anyone you were here.'

'No,' Snape muttered still staring at Harry's eyes. 'So like Lily's. But so much more like Potter,' Snape spat at James' name as though it were poison in his mouth. 'It could've been so different.'

'Severus, just leave.' Remus said more forcefully.

'You know what?' Snape dragged his eyes away from Harry and faced Remus. 'I don't think I want too, Lupin. Maybe I want to stay here and see Lily. Maybe I want to start a fight.'

'No, you don't. You do start a fight with me here and Lily will have even more reason to hate you.'

Instantly Remus knew that that last dig had been the final straw. Snape raised his wand and calmly levelled it at Remus' face. Remus wasn't fast enough. He was flung into the air and landed heavily against a wall. Remus lost consciousness for a few seconds and when he came too Snape was walking towards him. Remus lifted his wand and prepared to defend himself. No matter what happened, Remus wouldn't attack Snape. It wasn't worth it. Remus had no doubt that he had suffered a concussion and so didn't even attempt to stand up. Snape seemed to find his hilarious and laughed as he shot curse after curse at Remus. Finally Remus came to a point where holding his wand up was too much for him and as such some of the curses found their mark. Remus could feel blood running down his face and neck and because of the concussion and full moon mixture he desperately needed to sleep. Remus' eyes began to close but just before he slipped into unconsciousness Snape was thrown off his feet by a powerful curse. Suddenly Snape's attention was focused entirely on someone else, and Remus succumbed to the gentle embrace of sleep.

…

Sirius was walking through the corridors of St. Mungo's silently wishing his life were a little different. He had just left Lily and James in their room because he had suddenly felt uncomfortable standing in the room with the two love birds. It wasn't because he wasn't happy for them , he was, but it just felt as though he was missing something in his own life and watching the two of them had brought that feeling home. Sirius glanced into one of the wards and abruptly stopped. Not because it was someone he knew but because of the scene that was playing out.

An old man was lying in a bed and it was very clear that he would not last more than another hour, let alone a minute. Sitting by his side, faithful to the end, was a woman who could only be the man's wife. She was holding his hand and was gently stroking the man's grey hair. The man was speaking quietly to her and, as Sirius watched, the woman began crying and held onto her husband's hand tighter. The man continued speaking though now it was slower. These were the man's last words. Sirius was transfixed. He couldn't have moved even if he had wanted to. The love and caring between the two was so overwhelming that Sirius felt tears spring to his eyes, and he made absolutely no effort to wipe them away. Instead he let the tears fall, somehow knowing and understanding that he would never personally experience this scene. Sirius understood that he was destined to go without a loving wife in his world and it hurt more than he could have anticipated. Sirius drew a deep breath and forced himself to walk away from the heart breaking scene.

Sirius had a sudden urge to see his baby godson and started to head down to the nursery. On the way, Sirius couldn't help reflecting on all of the girls he had "dated" at Hogwarts and wondered what would have happened if he had bothered to actually like someone. Sirius had never had a proper crush before and he doubted if he ever would. His heart wasn't as hard as people thought it was. There were probably only three people in the entire world who understood that. James, Remus and Lily. They were the only ones who understood, not even Peter could possibly understand. All Sirius had really had were those people who knew him better than he probably would've liked. All the same Sirius swore that he would never lose them for any reason. And that oath now extended to baby Harry.

As Sirius came closer to the nursery he could hear loud bangs and could see bright flashes of light. Someone was duelling outside the nursery. What kind of moron would be so stupid? Then he remembered: Remus was watching over Harry just in case Voldemort tried to get to him while still at St. Mungo's. Sirius had never believed that Voldemort would be so idiotic but Remus was there. And so was Harry. Sirius rounded the corner and was stunned into silence. The first thing he noticed was Remus on the ground up against desperately trying to defend himself, and Snape firing curses at him. Sirius didn't even think. He pulled his wand out from the folds of his robes and shot a spell at Snape, which he only just managed to dodge. Sirius fought Snape for only a few minutes before he managed to use the _Levicorpus_ spell. As Snape dangled helplessly in the air by his ankle Sirius fell to his knees beside Remus, who had long ago lost consciousness. Sirius began to search Remus for any sign of a pulse.

'You're too late, Black. He's dead.' Snape, realised Sirius, was enjoying this.

'Shut up, Snivellus. And you better hope he's not dead, or you'll be next.' Sirius still had not found a pulse.

'Having trouble finding life, Black? Though I suppose you wouldn't know much about life. I mean, after all you have nothing and nobody. You're just…'

'Snape! I really don't have time. Now, shut up!' Sirius had somehow completely forgotten that he was a wizard and could stop Snape with a simple word. Snape, noticing this, was taking advantage of the situation.

'You don't scare me.'

'No, but Remus does scare you,' Sirius bit back. 'Especially when he's transformed.' Sirius had hit the spot and he knew it. Snape fell silent and was staring at Remus. Sirius glanced at Snape and couldn't help the smirk. 'That's what I thought.' Sirius continued to look for a sign of life.

'You're pathetic,' Snape spoke quietly but in the empty hall Sirius heard it all the same and he turned to face the upside down Snape.

'And why is that?'

'You think you can save them.' Snape answered, awkwardly jerking his head at Remus and then Harry, who was still watching curiously. 'You can't save them, Sirius.'

'You just…'

'Used your first name, yes, I know. Big deal,' Snape rolled his eyes and then fixed him with a serious look. 'You can't save them.'

'Yeah, you mentioned that.' Sirius was beginning to lose his patience.

'Listen to me, will you? You can't do it, Black,' Snape said. Sirius noticed the returned use of his last name. 'You can try and you will die. I know about the prophecy.' Snape sighed and a great sadness overcame him.

'How do you know about that?' Sirius was suddenly very suspicious.

'The Dark Lord spoke of it to me. He wanted to know what I thought.' Snape spoke softly, hardly believing his own lie.

'And what did you say?'

'I told him that the meaning was clear. A child will be born with the power to kill him. A child born in the end of July and to parents who have defied him three times,' Snape and Sirius glanced at Harry, who was still watching them. 'Voldemort deduced it meant Lily's child. The son of a Blood Traitor and a Muggle born. He will kill them both to get to him. His mind is set and there is nothing you or anyone else can do about it. She will die.' Snape added so quietly that Sirius only just caught what he said.

' _She_ will die?' Sirius picked up his wand and went over to Snape. 'And what about James and Harry? I suppose you couldn't care less if he killed them, could you? You'd be happy to see them gone. Oh, I get it. You hope that when they're dead Lily will go running to you for comfort. Well, I can tell you right now that it won't happen. Even if Lily survived while James and Harry were killed there is no way that she would go to you for anything. You're a Death Eater. Lily would rather come to me or Remus. Hell, she'd probably rather go to her sister than go to you. And you know what that means. She hates her sister but she'd prefer her over you. Anyone with a half a brain would. You're the pathetic one, not me. At least my friendships aren't delusional.'

'Say what you want to me, Black. It makes no difference,' Snape was now quieter than he had been. Something in him had broken. Snape was a broken man. 'The Dark Lord will kill the three of them, and then he will kill the werewolf. He'll probably leave you for Bellatrix. But either way, he will kill everyone you love. You will be all alone.'

Sirius pointed his wand between Snape's eyes. 'I think I'll kill you now.'

'Sirius…'

Sirius spun around to see Remus attempting to sit up. Sirius, with all thoughts of killing Snape temporarily pushed out of his mind, raced over to Remus and helped him to sit up properly.

'Take it easy, Moony. You'll be alright.'

'I know,' Remus looked past Sirius at Snape. 'Let him go.'

'What?' Sirius and Snape spoke at the same time.

'You heard me. Padfoot, let him go.'

'But he tried to kill you.'

'Only because I wouldn't let me go see Lily.'

'I don't care what his reason is.' Sirius was actually whining.

'Sirius.' Remus spoke softly and squeezed Sirius arm which he had been holding onto for support.

'But…'

'Now, Sirius.' Remus spoke forcefully.

'Fine.' Sirius sighed. With a wave of his wand, Sirius allowed Snape slam into the fall and only felt guilty when he heard Remus sigh in frustration and disappointment beside him. Sirius stood up and pulled Snape to his feet, handing him his wand. 'Don't come back. We won't tell anyone what happened so long as you don't. Understand?'

'Yes.' Snape took his wand, glanced at Remus, turned on his heel and ran. Sirius didn't move until he was out of sight. As soon as he was Sirius went back to Remus and sat down beside him.

'Why'd we let him go?'

'Why'd you tell him we wouldn't say anything?'

'Touché. I think.'

Remus laughed softly. 'I heard everything he said.'

'You were unconscious, Moony. How could you have heard?'

'I'm not sure,' frown lines appeared on Remus' face. 'I just did. Anyway, do you think he's right?'

'No,' Sirius answered firmly. 'No way. I mean, sure Voldemort's good but he's got to be better if he wants to get James and Lily.'

'If you say so.' Remus wasn't, in any way, convinced of this.

'Look, Moony, James and Lily are good and they're going into hiding. The only Voldemort will be able to get to them is if they're betrayed and whoever they use as Secret Keeper won't do that. So everything's good.'

'Yeah, okay,' Remus sighed. 'I suppose we better head back up to them.'

'First we get you cleaned up.'

…

James and Lily were waiting patiently for Sirius, Remus and Peter to turn up. They had made their decision. Strangely it was Peter who arrived first. Lily had expected Sirius or Remus there first because they were actually in the hospital. But when they did arrive Lily could guess why they had been late. Sirius was supporting Remus who was walking very slowly because, Lily presumed, the full moon was that night. When they came in, Peter quickly took some of Remus' weight, and together they lowered Remus into the armchair that stood in one corner. When Remus had assured them he was fine, James made the announcement.

'Sirius, we want you to be our Secret Keeper.'


	25. Going into Hiding

_The day had finally come. James, Lily and Harry were going into hiding. They were awaiting the arrival of Sirius at their house in Godric's Hollow. They had already said their goodbyes to all their friends, just in case anything happened. The hardest goodbye was with Remus, because the day they were going into hiding was the same night as a full moon. He had been incredibly weak when they went to see him and the goodbye and had been heartbreaking. None of them had wanted to say goodbye, of course, but because of the full moon it was all made just that little bit worse. Remus had promised that he would keep in contact by sending letters to them through Sirius and they had, in turn, promised to reply to all of them. Now they waited to give in to the fear that Voldemort created…_

Lily came downstairs from putting Harry to bed and found James standing at one of the windows, wand in hand. James was incredibly tense and looked ready to spring if anything should happen. Lily wondered how long he had been standing there for.

'James?' Lily spoke softly but James still jumped at the sound of her voice.

'Bloody hell, Lils. Don't sneak up on me like that.'

'Sorry,' Lily was trying very hard not to laugh at the look on James' face but it wasn't easy. 'How long have you been standing here?'

'A while. I'm waiting for Sirius.' James turned back to the window.

'Oh, well that explains the wand and the jumpiness.'

'Sorry,' James muttered and turned back to her. 'I just can't believe that we're actually going into hiding. After all our talk about not wanting to give in to that fear, here we are.' James gestured widely around at the house.

'I know, but we have to. For Harry's sake.' Lily smiled sadly at her husband. 'Now, relax or I'll get nervous.'

'Yeah right,' James opened his mouth to add something else when they heard a knock on their door. At first they both tensed up but then they recognised Sirius' distinctive knock. James and Lily went to greet their friend and were mildly surprised, but happy, to see that Peter was there as well. Once they were all inside James asked 'Pete, what are you doing here? Not that I mind or anything.'

'Well, ah…' Peter glanced at Sirius.

'I can explain,' Sirius jumped in. 'I don't think you should have me as Secret Keeper,' here Sirius raised a hand to silence James. 'Hear me out, okay? I don't think you should have me as Secret Keeper because it's too obvious. Everyone knows that I would be your first choice for the job and they'd come after me. Now, I would rather die than betray you which is why I don't want to run the risk of them coming after me and trying to force your location out of me. That's why I reckon you should use Pete. They'd never suspect that you'd make him your Secret Keeper so they'd never go after him. It's more logical to use him.'

Silence followed Sirius' little speech, and even Peter was looking surprised. Sirius had told him all of this already but he still found it hard to believe that Sirius hadn't suggested Remus instead. It's what he would have done. Peter could tell that James and Lily were thinking the same thing.

'Okay, I'll admit that it makes sense. But, and no offence Pete, why not Remus? Why Pete?' James said. Peter pretended not to take offence. Sirius suddenly looked very uncomfortable.

'You don't trust him,' Lily said finally. 'You don't trust Remus, do you, Siri?'

'What? Of course he trusts Remus. Right, Padfoot?' James stared at Sirius who was looking at the floor. 'Sirius?'

'I do trust him,' Sirius looked up at them. 'I do, honestly, but it's just that Remus is a werewolf and…'

'That's never mattered to you before.' James said angrily.

'It doesn't matter to me. But Voldemort is trying to recruit werewolves, you know that, James.'

'Yeah, but this is Remus we're talking about. He'd never join Voldemort.'

'I know that,' Sirius sighed and ran a hand through his hair. 'But they are recruiting and they'll try to get him on side and if he's your Secret Keeper than they'll know.'

'Sirius, you sound utterly ridiculous.' Lily said. She was about to say more when Harry started crying. 'I'll get him.' Lily said to James before he had a chance to say anything. Lily climbed the stairs quickly not wanting to hear the rest of the boy's conversation. Lily picked Harry up out of his cot and sat down in the rocking chair in the corner of the room and began singing to him:

' _Hush, little baby, don't say a word  
Mama's gonna buy you a mockin'bird_

_If that mockin'bird don't sing  
Mama's gonna buy you a diamond ring_

_If that diamond ring turns brass,  
Mama's gonna buy you a looking glass_

_If that looking glass gets broke,  
Mama's gonna buy you a billy goat_

_If that billy goat don't pull,  
Mama's gonna buy you a cart and mule_

_If that cart and mule turn over,  
Mama's gonna buy you a dog named Rover_

_If that dog named Rover won't bark,  
Mama's gonna buy you a horse and cart_

_If that horse and cart fall down,  
Then you'll still be the sweetest little baby in town'_

Lily gently kissed Harry's forward and ignored the tears on her cheeks. Lily sat there quietly for a few minutes, staring down at her beautiful little boy. Lily didn't think she had ever known such happiness and such sorrow at the same time. The birth of Harry had brought her so much joy and now she felt as though she was beginning to lose him all because some woman she had never met had spoken some silly words. Lily wasn't ready to say goodbye to her boy or her life just yet. And yet, somehow, she knew that she was. Lily very carefully lay Harry back down in his cot.

'You are the most beautiful little boy I have ever met and one day you're going to do something so good that our entire world will know your name. I just wish that I will still be alive to see it.' Lily kissed Harry's forehead again and went back downstairs. The three men were sitting at the kitchen table, clearly waiting for her to get back. It was also clear that James still wasn't sure about all this. Lily sat down and waited.

'I know that you aren't sure about this, James.' Sirius broke the silence. 'But you know I'm right. They'll guess that you used me as your Keeper and they'll try to force it out of me. Remus would never willingly betray you either, but he is a werewolf and Voldemort would use Greyback to get to Remus. No one will suspect that you used Pete and so they won't go after him. It makes sense to use him as Secret Keeper.' Sirius spoke slowly to make sure that James was listening.

'James, I agree with Sirius,' Lily said ignoring the glare James shot at her. 'I trust Remus with my life but if Voldemort guesses that we used Remus as our Secret Keeper then he'll send Greyback after him and you know what will happen then. Peter won't arouse any suspicion and so he'll be safe. Plus, he wouldn't willingly tell Voldemort our location.' Lily glanced at Peter to make sure that he had heard her. Lily still wasn't entirely sure about Peter but she believed that if he knew she trusted him so much then he wouldn't do anything to betray them.

'Lily's right, Prongs. I would never betray you or Lily.' Peter spoke with such force and conviction that everyone believed him.

'I know, Wormy,' James took a deep breath and hoped that Remus would understand. 'Okay, then, Pete. You're Secret Keeper. Now, let's hurry up and do this thing before anything happens.'

Sirius stood back and watched as Peter was charged with the secret of James and Lily's whereabouts. He sincerely hoped that he hadn't made a mistake. With the spell complete all that was left was to say goodbye. Sirius and Peter both said goodbye to Harry first and then joined James and Lily in the hallway. The two of them would leave by Apparating.

'This isn't goodbye,' Lily spoke first. 'We'll still write to each other. And then when this is all over we'll see each other and have a big party to celebrate.' Lily smiled warmly and hugged Peter then Sirius. 'Take care of yourselves, okay? And make sure you tell Remus about this change. He said that he'd send us letters through you, Sirius.'

'Yeah, we'll tell him,' Sirius said. 'Well, I'll see you later, Prongs.' The two men embraced.

'Yeah, you too, Padfoot. Don't do anything stupid, yeah?' James' voice was thick with emotion.

'I'll do my best.'

James nodded and turned to Peter. 'Look out for them both for me, Wormtail. And make sure you come to see us at least. I'll go mad if I've only got a baby and a woman to talk too.' James laughed.

'I'll come by as often as I can.' The two embraced. 'See you later, Prongs.'

'Yeah,' James drew a shuddering breath. 'Well, have fun tonight.'

'Won't be the same without the stupid stag there,' Sirius laughed. 'Look after him, Lil.' Sirius hugged Lily again. 'I'll come by when I can to check on James for you.' He added in a whisper.

'Thank you.' Lily said.

With all of the goodbyes said, Sirius and Peter smiled at their two friends and Aparated. The house suddenly seemed to quiet and James and Lily wondered how on earth they would get through this.

…

Sirius and Peter arrived at The Three Broomsticks a few minutes before Remus. They ordered three Butterbeers and sat in their usual booth. There was silence between the two of them until Sirius said something unexpected.

'Wormtail, do me a favour. Don't tell Remus we switched.'

'What? But we told Lily we would.'

'I know but just don't.'

'What about the letters?'

'I'll give them to you so that you can pass them on.' Sirius glanced at the door and saw Remus come in. 'Don't tell him, Wormy,' Sirius glanced at Peter and saw him nod. 'Good. Oi! Remus!' Sirius yelled out, causing several other patrons to look at him. Remus saw them and made his way over.

'Hello. How'd things go, Sirius?'

'Fine. They went just fine. Here, drink up.'

Peter smiled throughout this exchange. He felt bad for not telling Remus but then he realised that maybe it was a good thing. He looked at Sirius and wondered what Sirius would do when James and Lily were killed by Voldemort. Peter decided to come up with a plan for his own survival before telling his master this wonderful news.


	26. Lonely Christmas

 

_It's baby's first Christmas,_   
_It's somethin' to see,_   
_Mummy and Daddy,_   
_Trimmin' baby's Christmas tree._   
_Baby's big brother,_   
_Is busy with his toys,_   
_He's shinin' up the chimney,_   
_For Santa Claus!_

_It's baby's first Christmas,_   
_And oh, what a joy,_   
_Shopping all around,_   
_For every pretty toy._   
_It's a very special Christmas,_   
_A blessing from above,_   
_It's baby's first Christmas,_   
_A Christmas full of love!_

_It's baby's first Christmas,_   
_And oh, what a joy,_   
_Shopping all around,_   
_For every pretty toy._   
_It's a very special Christmas,_   
_A blessing from above,_   
_It's baby's first Christmas,_   
_A Christmas full of love!_

Lily put the final decorations on the Christmas tree and stood back to examine her work. The tree was small and they didn't have many decorations but it was bright and warm. Although Lily had put all of the decorations on the tree by hand she had made many of the trinkets with magic. There were three brightly coloured baubles each emblazoned with one of their names. There were a few things that Harry had made on his own and a couple that James had made by transfiguring cutlery, much to Harry's delight.

'What do you think, Harry?' Lily turned to her baby boy who was playing on the floor. Harry looked up at the sound of his mother's voice and gurgled happily. 'That's what I thought.' Lily said laughing. She picked Harry up and showed him the tree. 'See, that's your daddy's name, and there's mine, and there's your name, Harry. Here's one you made.' Lily pointed to a Styrofoam ball that had glitter stuck all over it. Harry grabbed hold of a silver stag. 'Figured you go for that. Your silly daddy made that from a spoon.'

'Good, aren't I?' Lily spun around, ignoring Harry's giggling and sighed when she saw James.

'Don't sneak up on me, James. And no, you're not good.'

James put a hand of his heart and looked hurt. 'Oh, Lily, you've cut me to the core. Hasn't she, Harry?' James took Harry out of Lily's arms. 'And, of course, he went for the stag. He knows his daddy when he sees him. It looks good, Lil.' James added, planting a kiss on Lily's cheek.

'You think? I don't know.' Lily looked sadly at the tree. 'It would be better if the guys were coming around.'

'Yeah, I wish they were here, as well, Lil. But they can't always come by. You know that.'

'Still, it'd be nice. Especially seeing as its Harry's first Christmas.' Lily sighed and moved an ornament to a better position. 'I had planned on having a big party this year. Before that stupid prophecy.'

'It would be nice. Hey, you never know. Pete might drop by.'

'I hope so. I need someone intelligent to talk to for a change.'

'Ha, ha, very funny.' James surveyed the Christmas tree again. 'Isn't there meant to be an angel at the top?'

Lily turned to face James, her eyes narrowed. 'There would be an angel up there if you hadn't trodden on it and broken it.'

'Lil, you're a witch…' James said slowly.

'There's a piece missing, James. I've looked for it everywhere and I've tried using magic to find it but I can't.'

'Oh.' James glanced around, thinking quickly. 'I have an idea,' James put Harry on the ground. 'Okay, Harry, I want you to find me something shiny.' James prodded Harry's side and Harry quickly went crawling away trying to find a shiny object.

'James, he's not a Niffler.'

'I'm aware, thank you. Just wait.' Harry crawled back to James and showed him the shiny object in his fist. 'You've lost an earring, Lil.' James showed Lily what Harry had found. It was a small silver stud inlaid with a tiny ruby. 'Where's the other one?'

'Upstairs. Why?'

'Can I have it?' James asked.

'Um, okay.' Lily went upstairs into their bedroom and quickly found the other earring. When she went back downstairs she found James had produced his Patronus to amuse Harry who was watching the silver stag with bright eyes. James smiled at Lily when he saw her and let the stag dissolve.

'Did you find it?'

'Yeah,' Lily handed him the stud and sat down on the floor with them. 'What are you going to do?'

'You'll see,' James held the two studs in one hand and, making sure Harry could see, waved his wand over them. The studs fused together and began to transform into an amazing angel to sit stop the Christmas tree. 'What d'you think, Harry?'

'Pretty!' Harry shouted, clapping his hands together.

'I think he likes it, James. And so do I.' Lily took the angel off James and put it on the very top of the tree and sat back down. Harry crawled into Lily's lap and the three of them sat staring up at their little Christmas tree.

'Where Paddy and Mooy?' Harry asked softly before adding, ' I want Paddy and Mooy.'

James winced slightly, wanting to know the same thing. Harry looked up at Lily. 'I don't know, Harry.'

'When they coming?' Harry asked sleepily.

'They aren't coming, Harry. Not for a while.'

…

Sirius, Remus and Peter were all trying very hard to pay attention to what was being said. They were at an Order meeting and they were meant to be listening to a report that was being given. Peter was probably trying harder to pay attention because he would have to pass all of this on to his master. Sirius and Remus had no hope of taking anything in because they were both thinking about James, Lily and Harry and wondering how they were coping shut up in their house all day long.

'Thank you all for coming on such short notice,' Dumbledore had stood up. 'I hope that you will all be here at the next meeting. Good evening.' People began leaving but Sirius, Remus and Peter remained behind.

'I think we should go see them.' Remus said.

'Dumbledore told us that we shouldn't visit them too often, just in case.' Sirius reluctantly replied.

'Oh, come on, Sirius. You want to see them as much as we do.' Remus watched his friend take a steadying breath.

'Yeah, I do,' Sirius closed his eyes. He really did want to see them but every time he saw them it felt as though he was seeing them for the last time. 'You know what? Let's do it. We'll surprise them Christmas morning.'

'Good,' Remus smiled brightly.

…

Christmas morning dawned bright and cold in Godric's Hollow. Harry lay peacefully in his cot dreaming of stags, dogs, and wolves. James and Lily were both asleep in their bed dreaming of happier times. The house stood still and silent until the front door opened quietly. Three men snuck into the house, carrying various boxes in their arms. They put the boxes in with the Christmas tree and silently made their way upstairs. One of them quickly went into Harry's room and gently woke him up. Harry didn't cry but smiled happily when he recognised his favourite wolf. They then went into James and Lily's room.

…

James was dreaming about the full moon. Sneaking around the grounds of Hogwarts and never once being caught. His dream was suddenly interrupted by something very big landing on his chest and something rough licking his face. James' eyes flashed open and he scrambled around for his glasses, shoving them onto his face. James found himself face-to-face with a big, hairy face.

'Padfoot?'

'Morning, Prongs.' James looked past the dog and saw Peter and Remus, who was holding Harry, standing at the foot of the bed, smiling broadly at him. It was Remus who had spoken. James smiled back at them.

'Wazzgoingon?' Lily muttered, sitting up and rubbing her eyes. Lily was fully awoken by a lick from a great big dog. Lily jumped back in fright and disgust but then looked properly. 'Sirius? What the hell?' Lily looked past him and saw the other two. Her frown turned into a big smile. 'Good morning.'

'Morning,' Remus said laughing. 'And happy Christmas to you both.'


	27. Letter Writing

_As the months passed by, James and Lily did all they could to stay positive for Harry's sake. They concentrated on making happy memories and taking a lot of photos. Every month they would send the film to Remus for him to look after. Sirius, Remus and Peter had visited the house for James and Lily's birthdays, but their visits were becoming less frequent as the war escalated. Unfortunately, none of them had been able to come to Harry's first birthday but they had all sent him wonderful presents. A small dinner with Bathilda Bagshot had been the only celebration. The day after his birthday found Harry playing on his new toy broom with James chasing after him…_

Lily sat at the kitchen table, clutching a cup of tea, and watched James race pass her again, following closely behind Harry. Lily laughed and looked down at the photo in front of her. The picture was of Harry on his broom, James chasing him and Lily standing off to the side. Lily smiled just as she heard a loud crash. She stood up and raced into the hallway. James had just picked up a crying Harry and was brushing bits of broken china out of his hair. Lily looked at the bits of broken vase on the floor.

'The vase from Petunia?'

'Yes.' James winced as Lily cocked an eyebrow. 'Sorry.'

'I didn't like it anyway,' Lily smiled and turned her attention to her baby boy. 'You okay, Harry?'

'Yes.' Harry nodded and smiled. 'Can I play again?'

'Yeah, just be careful.' James set Harry down and he quickly grabbed his broom and was off again. James turned to Lily. 'You wanna keep it?' He said motioning towards to the broken vase.

'Nope.' Lily waved her wand and all the pieces lifted into the air and she deposited the whole lot into the trash can. 'Watch him, James.'

'Of course.' James chased after Harry again and Lily returned to the kitchen and pulled a piece parchment towards her and began writing.

…

_Dear Padfoot,_

_Thank you, thank you, for Harry's birthday present! It was his favourite by far. One year old and already zooming along on a toy broomstick, he looked so pleased with himself, I'm enclosing a picture so you can see. You know it only rises about two feet off the ground, but he nearly killed the cat and he smashed a horrible vase Petunia sent me for Christmas (no complaints there). Of course, James thought it was funny, says he's going to be a great Quidditch player, but we've had to pack away all the ornaments and make sure we don't take our eyes off him when he gets going._

_We had a very quiet birthday tea, just us and old Bathilda, who has always been sweet to us, and who dotes on Harry. We were so sorry you couldn't come, but the Order's got to come first, and Harry's not old enough to know it's his birthday anyway! James is getting a bit frustrated shut up here, he tries not to show it but I can tell - also, Dumbledore's still got his Invisibility Cloak, so no chance of little excursions. If you could visit, it would cheer him up so much. Wormy was here last weekend, I thought he seemed down, but that was probably the news about the McKinnons; I cried all evening when I heard._

_Bathilda drops in most days, she's a fascinating old thing with the most amazing stories about Dumbledore, I'm not sure he'd be pleased if he knew! I don't know how much to believe, actually, because it seems incredible that Dumbledore could ever have been friends with Gellert Grindelwald. I think her mind's going, personally!_

_Lots of love,_

_Lily_

…

Lily set down her quill and smiled at the memory of that tea. Lily didn't know if she could believe the stories about Dumbledore but she did trust Bathilda. Lily smiled sadly and grabbed a new piece of parchment.

…

_Dear Moony,_

_Thank you so much for Harry's birthday present! It was much more practical than Sirius' (a toy broomstick). I just know that Harry will love reading all those stories as much as I did as a child. I'm sorry that you couldn't come visit but Harry didn't even know it was his birthday. I'm sure you'll be there when it really matters._

_I'm only just beginning to feel frustrated. James has been feeling cooped up for weeks but it's only just starting for me. I sometimes get the feeling that I won't see my next birthday and dying at the age of 21 is scary. I know James is thinking the same thing but he tries not to show it. I do hope that I get to see you before then. I miss your conversations most of all, Remy. The conversation between me and James has become slightly stagnant, but most days it's good. He's still an amazing person but he does occasionally slip back into his old Hogwarts ways, mainly the pig-headedness!_

_Harry's growing faster every day and he's just like he's father! He's beautiful, happy and fun-loving. He'll be a Gryffindor for sure! And a Quidditch player if James has his way. I can't stand the thought that my baby will play one of the most dangerous games there is but it also makes me proud. It is dangerous but it's all about team work and I quite like that._

_Lots of love,_

_Lily_

…

Lily sat back in her chair and sighed. Everything she had written in the letter was true. Dying at just 21 was a scary thought for her. Lily pulled yet another piece of parchment towards her and began writing again.

…

_Dear Molly,_

_Thank you for Harry's birthday present. He absolutely loves his new sweater and he simply refuses to take it off! Harry enjoyed his birthday, even if he didn't really know what was going on. I think he understood that it was a special day but that was probably about as far as he got._

_I hope your pregnancy is going well. Let's hope you finally get that girl you so desperately need! My fingers are crossed for you and Arthur. How's Arthur coping at the Ministry? I hope that things aren't too bad for him there, and that you don't have to worry so much. Then again, you are both in the Order, so maybe that makes up for it. You're lucky that you haven't been forced into hiding. I don't like being shut up like this and neither does James. The house seems smaller than it was when we moved in, though nothing has changed._

_Molly, one day, in about eleven years, you're going to be sending another son off to Hogwarts and I want you to make sure that Harry gets on the train okay if he turns up on his own. I'm sure you would have anyway, but just thought I would ask. There is no one I would trust more with looking after my boy if something should happen. And please let Sirius help if possible. He means well and he cares for Harry very much. I know that Harry will love your family._

_Lots of love,_

_Lily_

…

Lily decided to write as many letters as she could before James and Harry needed her. Lily made sure that she had plenty of ink and parchment before settling herself in.

…

_Dear Professor Dumbledore,_

_I hope that this letter finds you safe and healthy. I wanted to thank you for the letter you sent on Harry's birthday. I was so sorry to hear the news about Greg Jones. I know he was a good friend of yours and he was an excellent Auror. I hope that his family is found safe and soon. I can only imagine what they're going through._

_I have to ask this for the sake of my sanity: why did you take James' cloak? It's killing him that he can't go out for little excursions with the others, and it's beginning to kill me that he can't! I just hope that you're putting it too good use and not just staring at it. James is very frustrated stuck in here and I'm beginning to feel the same way. It feels as though my sanity is slipping away from me and there's nothing I can do to stop it. The longer I'm stuck here the sooner I'll lose my mind._

_I think, perhaps, that this might be the last time you hear from me. Dying at the age of 21 isn't exactly ideal but that might be what happens. I hope that Harry will be well looked after when I am gone and that you keep an eye on him whenever you can. Harry is special, and I'm not just saying that as his mother. I know that my boy is special and I will be proud of him no matter what he does. All I know for sure that the hopes of the Wizarding World will rest on his little shoulders one day and it is then that he will need the most help._

_Thank you for everything, Professor._

_Lots of love,_

_Lily_

…

_Dear Alice,_

_Thank you so much for Harry's birthday present! I hope that Neville liked his gift from us. Harry's growing so quickly that I can barely keep up. I'm sure it's the same for you and Frank with your beautiful boy. It seems like just yesterday we were in the hospital feeding and bathing them for the first time. And now, Harry's walking and talking. I wish he wouldn't grow so quickly!_

_I must say that I'm looking forward to seeing you again. After months of just James to talk to my mind is beginning to disappear on me. The conversations usually fine but it usually somehow ends up at Quidditch and broomsticks. I don't think I can bear another talk about how fast the newest racing broom can go. I might just scream if it comes up again. When he's not talking about brooms or Quidditch, then he's talking about Harry's future. James has almost all of Harry's life set out. Is Frank doing the same thing?_

_I hope that everyone's okay. Did you hear about the McKinnons? I cried all night when I got the news. I just can't believe that they were all attacked and that none of them survived. It seems so impossible that an entire family can be utterly wiped out in one horror night. I do so hope that this war is almost over just so that we won't get that kind of news ever again._

_Lots of love and hugs,_

_Lily_

_P.S. Give my love to Frank and Neville._

…

Lily placed all of the letters into separate envelopes and then sent all of them to Remus, trusting him to pass them on for her. Lily sat in the living room and focused all of her attention and energy on Harry and James. She needed to put on a happy face for her own sanity. James could see through it but Harry only saw the facade. When James asked if she was okay, Lily's smile dropped slightly.

'I just have this bad feeling.' Lily shrugged.

'About what?' James frowned, concern etched all over his face.

'I dunno. Like we won't see our next birthdays. Let alone Christmas.' Lily shrugged again as though it were nothing.

'I know,' James nodded. 'I feel the same sometimes. But you can't focus on that, Lil. You have to concentrate on what we have now, instead of what we could lose.'

'Yeah, I'm trying.' Lily smiled weakly. James hugged her tightly.

'We'll be okay. I promise you.'


	28. Dream

_James was walking through a long corridor, just ahead of him he could make out the figure of a man. James wasn't sure why he was following this person but he felt like he needed to. The figure turned into another hallway and James quickly raced after him. The figure was walking fast and James was beginning to fall behind. James started running, trying to catch up, but no matter how fast he ran James got no closer to the figure. Suddenly James found himself standing in his own living room. There was a greenish glow and James could see a jack-o-lantern on the coffee table. The face that had been carved into it was creepy and it seemed to be mocking James. 'Lily?' James' voice was distant. No one replied to his whisper. James walked into the front hallway and froze. On the ground in front of him, eyes wide, was his beautiful Lily. Lying on her chest was a dead baby Harry. James looked around himself. There was no one else there. Who had killed his family? James, oddly, wasn't sad. Rather he was confused. Why was he still alive? James went back into the living room and stared at the creepy pumpkin. It smiled cruelly at him._

' _Are they all dead, James? That's a shame.' The pumpkin spoke in a high cold voice which James knew all too well. 'I did it, you know. I killed your family.' The jack-o-lantern seemed to grow before James eyes until standing before him was Lord Voldemort. 'And now, it's your turn.' There was a flash of green…_

James sat bolt upright in bed, breathing heavily and drenched in a cold sweat. The images from his dream were burned into his retina and he was unable to forget it. The dead staring bright green eyes of Lily and Harry were mocking him. James glanced at Lily sleeping peacefully next to him. James very carefully got out of bed and slowly made his way into Harry's room. Baby Harry was asleep in his cot, his messy black hair hiding his face. James sighed, safe in the knowledge that Lily and Harry were both alive and well. How long would that last though, James asked himself. He didn't want too but the images of dead Lily and Harry were still in his mind. James reached out and gently placed his hand on Harry's back. Beneath his hand, James could a feel a little heartbeat and the slow rise and fall that indicated breathing. James smiled down at his son. Everything was okay. It had just been a nightmare.

...

In the morning, James was woken by Lily gently prodding his side. James smiled up at her and Lily laughed.

'Your son's asking for you,' Lily jerked her head towards the door and James guessed that Lily meant he was in the kitchen waiting to be fed. James rolled his eyes and pulled Lily onto his lap. 'James!'

'Harry can wait.' James smiled and kissed his wife passionately.

'I suppose so,' Lily said rather breathlessly when they finally broke apart. 'But we really can't leave Harry alone for too long.' James threw his head back and sighed. Lily smiled and ran a finger slowly and gently down the length of James' throat. James smiled and kissed lily again.

'Nah, he's a good kid. I'm sure he'll be fine without us for a few minutes.'

'A few minutes?' Lily questioned, an eyebrow raised. 'I'd prefer a lot longer than that if you don't mind.'

James laughed. 'Of course, love. Whatever you want, you shall receive.'

'Sounds like an excellent plan,' Lily kissed James lightly. 'But we really must get back to our son.'

'Fine.' James sighed. Lily got up and pulled James to his feet. James put his arm around her shoulder and the two of them made their way down to Harry. When they arrived James went over and gave his son a kiss. 'Hello, my boy. One day, Harry, you're going to learn never to interrupt a couple in love.'

'James!' Lily admonished.

'You know what I mean, Lil.' James smiled at Harry. 'Hungry, Harry?'

'Hung'y!' Harry yelled impatiently, his little arms outstretched to his father and his mouth wide open.

'Alright, alright.' James began to feed Harry, though his eyes occasionally drifted to Lily. After all the years they had been together James had never quite got over the shock of Lily agreeing to go out with him. James still had problems believing that they were married with a beautiful child. James smiled happily and turned back to Harry who was giving him a strange look. James stared back at him, equally confused.

'You stopped giving him food,' Lily piped up. 'He wants to know why. I swear he's getting more and more like Siri every day.'

James shuddered. 'Don't say that, Lil. You'll give me bad thoughts. Sorry, Harry, lost my train of thought for a minute there. Apologises, my dear son.' Harry smiled as James offered him another spoonful of muck. Harry gobbled up the food and James had to admit that Harry was beginning to eat like Sirius did: inhaling his food instead of chewing. James laughed at what Sirius would say if he was told. James vowed to tell Sirius this piece of news when they next saw each other.

As the day wore on, it became more and more apparent that it was one of those days that Harry didn't feel much like sleeping. James and Lily tried many, many times to get Harry to sleep but he simple refused. The twp parents were beginning to run out of ideas, until James' mind finally came up with something. He picked up Harry and plopped him down in front of the television.

'James, what are you doing?'

'Simple, putting him to sleep.' James said it as though it were the most obvious thing in the world.

'By over stimulating him? It's not gonna work, love.'

James picked up the remote and began flicking; clearly looking for something that he knew was one. 'Trust me, Lil.' James settled on the channel and sat down on the lounge, pulling Lily with him. James pointed at the television. A program on British architecture was playing and Lily couldn't help but smile at James' stroke of genius. If anything was going to put Harry to sleep it was boring TV. Soon enough Harry had lain down on the floor and was snoring gently. James very carefully picked him up and put him in his cot, turning on the baby monitor just before he left. James went back into the lounge room to find that Lily had already changed the channel to an action movie. James smiled and joined his wife.

'He asleep?'

'Out like a light,' James kissed Lily lightly. 'He's fine, Lil. And we're finally alone.'

'And I've found a movie that I really want to watch.' Lily countered back. James sighed and threw his head back. Lily smiled and leant against him. 'Unless it suddenly becomes boring and pointless. Then maybe.' James looked at her hopefully. 'Maybe, James.'

'You don't like action movies.'

'I might change my mind.' Lily laughed. James sighed again, not being able to think of anything in return, and held Lily close to him. Lily seemed to read something in the way James was holding her because she looked up at him questioningly. 'James, what's wrong?'

'Nothing, Lily,' James kept his eyes firmly on the movie. 'Just a nightmare I had.'

'Is that why you were in Harry's room this morning?'

'Yeah. I just had to check that he was okay,' James smiled down at her. 'And you, of course.'

'Of course. I suppose there's no point in asking what the dream was about.'

'Nope.' James said lightly. He still wasn't able to forget the dead Lily and Harry.

'Okay. You want to talk to Sirius?'

James stared at her. 'And how the hell would I do that?'

'I don't know. Those mirror things/'

'Nah, he's got both.'

'Why'

'I wanted to make sure that they wouldn't get broken.'

'So you gave them to Sirius Black.'

'Yeah, better than a baby,' James smiled again. 'But only slightly.'

'Hmm, okay,' Lily fell silent. James rested his head against Lily and slowly started drifting off to sleep. Lily smiled and lightly poked James' side to wake him up. James jerked up slightly and kissed the top of her head.

'I'm awake.'

'Sure you were.' Lily laughed. 'I think I might be losing interest in the movie.' Instantly James was wide awake.

'You mean it?'

'I think so,' Lily stared at the television at screen and watched as the hero was captured. 'Actually, I take that back. I'm very interested in this movie.' James looked at the movie and his interest was piqued.

'Okay, catch me up.'

...

Lily sighed as the movie finished. In the end, the movie had actually been very good and both she and James had lost focus on everything else. Lily straightened up and heard James huff in frustration. Lily smiled. She loved teasing James like this. Lily stood up and stretched before racing up the stairs to check on Harry. Lily looked into his cot and saw that Harry was still sound asleep. Lily sighed knowing that when he woke up he wouldn't sleep for hours again. Lily kissed Harry's head and went back down to James, who was still on the lounge, flicking through channels.

'Still out like a light.' Lily said curling up next to James again.

'Good,' Lily raised an eyebrow and James quickly rephrased. 'I'm glad he's getting his rest, that's all. And that we're still alone.'

'It's not happening, James.'

'What? Why not?'

'I'm tired.' Lily shot back easily. James muttered something under his breath which soundly oddly like 'as if'. Lily smiled and kissed James' cheek. 'I want to do something special for Halloween this year.'

'Why?' James asked, watching his wife. The image of the pumpkin transforming into Voldemort came into his mind unbidden.

'Because how else are we going to destroy the boredom?' Lily teased.

'Okay fair enough,' James laughed. 'But no jack-o-lanterns.'

'What? But they make Halloween. And you love them.' Lily frowned when she saw James wince slightly.

'Yeah, I know. But they might scare Harry.'

'Scare Harry? James, you're son isn't scared of anything. Much less a smiling pumpkin.'

'Please, Lil? No smiling pumpkins.'

Something about James' voice stopped Lily. There was fear in his voice. 'Okay, no smiling pumpkins.' James relaxed beside her. 'But we need the witches.'

'You are a witch, Lil.'

'Yes, but we need the Muggle version of a witch. Warts and all.'

James laughed. 'Alright. We'll get started on it tomorrow.'

'Don't you think we'd be better off doing it now?'

'Nope, tomorrow,' James kissed Lily. 'I can think of something much more fun to do now.'

Lily laughed. 'Okay, okay. Decorations tomorrow. I can't believe we'll be doing the decorations on the actual holiday. How sad is that?'

'It's not.' James kissed Lily again. 'Tomorrow will be fine. I promise.'


	29. October 31st

_The 31_ _st_ _of October, Halloween, dawned bright and clear. There was new, crisp snow on the ground and the birds were singing happily. No one in the sleepy village had any clue of what was going to happen. The air was soon filled with the laughter of innocent and happy children as they ran from house to house asking for candy. Not one child glanced at the house that hid the Potter family. As far as everyone knew the Potters had never lived there. Inside the house a husband and wife were looking after their child and slowly, slowly losing their minds to worry and grief. Never in their lives had they been so scared. Apart of them was telling them that this could be their last day on earth but neither of them paid that part of themselves any attention. Halloween was a fairly subdued affair inside the house. Just a few decorations and a whole lot of candy. ._

Lily sat in the lounge room and watched as James played with little Harry on the floor. She wasn't sure if she had ever seen anything so simple and heart breaking. Lily still had a bad feeling about everything that was happening around her, and it seemed to be worse that day. All day Lily had been trying to ignore the growing feeling of apprehension in her stomach, only to find that the screams of laughter from outside had made it worse. Although it was clear that it was laugher every time Lily heard the happy scream of a child she couldn't help but think it was actually a scream of terror. It was just one of those days, she decided, and put the feeling down to frayed nerves.

Overall the day had been quiet for the Potter family. No owls had arrived from their friends, which wasn't unusual, and there had been nothing particularly interesting in the newspaper. The bulk of the day had been spent having some decidedly ordinary Halloween fun even if Harry didn't quite get it. All he knew was that he had gotten candy with his lunch and nothing else mattered. Harry had been content all day playing on his toy broom and terrorising the poor cat, which had recently taken refuge on Lily's lap.

James suddenly looked up at her. 'We'll have to get them over for Christmas, Lil. I'll go insane if we don't.'

'That's kind of out of the blue, there James. But you're right. It would be nice.' Lily smiled at him. 'I don't think I could handle it if you went even more insane. I might lose my mind.'

'Already lost it, love.' James grinned at her.

'Probably!' Lily laughed. 'Anyway, we'll invite them. I'm sure they'll come. If only to save me.'

'Whatever.' James glanced down at Harry. 'Plus I need to talk to Remus.'

'What about?'

James sighed. 'I need to explain to him why we didn't make him Secret Keeper.'

'James, he knows why.' Lily said watching James.

'No, he thinks it's only because he's a werewolf. But really it's because we didn't trust him. I need him to know that.'

'You're going to tell Remus that you don't trust him?'

'No, I'm going to tell Remus that I was wrong not to trust him. He deserves to know.' James hadn't looked up at Lily for a while and instead had been focusing solely on Harry. 'I just feel bad about it, you know? Remus has never given us a reason not to trust him and yet we don't. Or didn't. Every time he's come to visit I've never gotten that feeling that I can't trust him. I trust him with my life and yet, I've acted like an idiot.'

'Which isn't exactly unusual, James. But fair enough. If you really want to tell him then you'll have to convince him to come over so that you can tell him.'

'Yeah.' James fell silent and Harry finally looked away from the stuffed rat he was playing with in order to watch his father. Harry reached up and placed his small hand on James' cheek. James smiled down at Harry and bundled the boy into his arms. Lily sat down on the floor besides them and gently put her hand on the back of James' neck and leant her head against his shoulder, taking care not to squish Harry between them.

'He'll understand, James. And he won't be hurt by it. Remus is smart; he probably knew that we'd all have doubts about his loyalty. But he trusted that eventually we'd come around and believe him. And it happened.' James nodded and Lily knew that he was struggling, and would continue to do so until he had spoken to Remus. 'Send him a letter today if you like.'

'Maybe after dinner. If I remember that is,' James fell silent and Lily smiled when Harry squeezed James. 'I'm all right, Harry. Do you think Moony will forgive me?'

'Yes!' Harry yelled happily.

...

Later that night, Lily sat reading, while James was again sitting on the floor amusing Harry with magic. James had just finished writing a letter to Remus, explaining why he hadn't been made Secret Keeper and how James hadn't trusted him. James had also begged for Remus' forgiveness in the letter. As yet, the letter remained unset and was instead lying on the kitchen table. Suddenly there was a tearing sound and Lily looked up. Harry was staring angrily down at the stuffed rat, whose head he had just ripped off.

'Harry!' Lily admonished. 'Uncle Wormy gave you that!'

'Bad rat.' Harry said, holding the pieces out to her. 'Bad rat.'

'Harry, what do you mean "bad rat"?' James asked.

Harry turned to James and said again 'Bad rat'.

'But why?'

'Bad rat.' Harry shook the two halves of the toy at James. 'Bad rat, bad rat.'

'Harry,' Lily said sternly. Harry dropped his hands and looked at her. 'Tell us why the rat's bad?'

'Rat tell secret.' Harry said simply, throwing away the toy in disgust, and suddenly giggled when some of the stuffing fell out.

"'Rat tell secret'." James repeated softly.

'James, you don't know that's what he meant. He's only a baby.'

'Yeah, but he's our baby, Lil. That makes him extra special smart.'

'Then he can't be yours.'

'Ha, ha, very funny.' James pulled a face at her and went back to showing Harry some magic. 'Anyway, Pete wouldn't betray us.'

'And what makes you so sure?'

'Simple. He knows that Sirius would kill him if he did.'

'No he wouldn't.' Lily said, wanting to believe it. James looked up at her and cocked an eyebrow.

'Really? You really think that Padfoot wouldn't go after Pete if he did betray us? He'd go after him in a heartbeat.'

'But would he kill Pete?'

'He'd try. So, yes, probably. Although Remus might be able to talk him out of it,' James fell silent and thought for a second. 'Actually, scratch that. If Remus knew Pete was Secret Keeper he'd probably help Sirius.'

'But they wouldn't risk it. For Harry's sake, right?'

'I hope so. I wouldn't want them to become killers. Especially if it was because of Pete. You gonna fix that rat?'

'No, I'll do it in the morning.'

'Yeah, okay.' As James continued entertaining Harry with various spells, he listened to the sounds coming from outside the house. Just an hour earlier James could hear children running around and laughing as they collected candy from the neighbours. Now, however, there was silence. James couldn't hear anything from outside, and instantly knew that something wasn't quite right. James glanced at the clock and noted the time: 8 o'clock. Where were all the kids looking for candy? Usually they didn't stop until at least ten. James concentrated and tried to feel the enchantments that had been placed on the house when Peter was made Secret Keeper. Something felt wrong. Something felt missing. James looked out the window and could see nothing out of the ordinary. The moon was out and… no, it wasn't. The moon was missing. Every night James would look out the window and stare at the moon. Especially when it was full. He was always able to see it out this window. James waited, hoping that there was just a cloud in the way. Suddenly James could see why the moon was missing. Standing in front of their house was a man. He was pointing his wand up at the moon. James stood and carefully walked over to the window to watch the man. As he watched, James saw the man lower his wand and turn towards the house. It was then that James saw beneath the hood. The face was pale and the eyes were just red slits. It was a face that James had hoped and prayed he would never have to see again. Voldemort.

'Oh no…'

'James? What's wrong?'

'Lily, take Harry and go! It's him! Go! Run! I'll hold him off!' James yelled. Lily grabbed Harry and stumbled from the room heading upstairs. James picked up his wand and feeling oddly calm stood in front of the door, blocking the stairs. He glanced behind him and saw Lily standing at the top of the stairs looking down at him. James smiled at her. 'Go, Lily. I love you.'

'I love you too.' Lily smiled sadly at him and, knowing that she'd never see him again, turned and ran. James faced the door again just as it burst open and Voldemort walked in.

'James Potter,' Voldemort's high pitched laugh tore at James' heart. 'Tonight you die.'

'Bring it on.' James sounded much braver than he felt. He stared into those red slits and regretted that they would be the last thing he ever saw. Voldemort calmly pointed his wand at James, who mirrored the movement.

'You really think you can beat me? You really think you can survive me?'

'No, I don't. But that doesn't mean that I'm not going to fight you. For those I love, I will die.'

'Your son will die.' Voldemort sneered. James frowned slightly; Voldemort hadn't mentioned Lily. Voldemort smiled cruelly at him. 'Your wife, Potter, will only die if she stands in my way. I only wish to kill you and your son.'

'And why won't you kill Lily?' James was trying to buy time, hoping that Lily would leave, though he doubted she would.

'Because it was asked of me. I very rarely acquiesce to my followers requests, but this one came from a very loyal follower. Lily Potter need not die tonight.'

'Who asked this of you?' James asked, already guessing the answer.

'Severus Snape.' Voldemort sneered when James closed his eyes. 'That's right, Potter. My most loyal servant asked for your wife to be spared so that he could have her as his own when you're dead.'

'She'll never go for him.'

'Not willingly.' Voldemort drawled. 'Enough talk, Potter.'

Suddenly the house was filled with the sounds of duelling. Neither James nor Voldemort cared about how much noise they made. All that mattered to both of them was the other. Nothing else in the world mattered. All of James' energy was concentrated on Voldemort and protecting his wife and child.

Nothing else in the world mattered… nothing else in the world mattered… Lily… Harry… nothing else in the world mattered… nothing else in the…

…

Lily could hear them fighting.

She stood, holding Harry in her arms, letting her tears flow freely. James was protecting her, just as he always had done. Ever since Hogwarts he had protected her, even when she didn't want it, and now it would be the death of him. Lily kissed Harry's forehead and placed him in his crib.

'Always remember that we love you, Harry. We did this for you. My sweet little boy.'

Lily took a deep breath and faced the door, her wand lying forgotten on the table. Suddenly Lily heard the cold voice say the words she had been dreading.

' _Avada Kedavra!'_

Lily's heart stopped. James was gone and she was alone. Lily closed her eyes and willed herself to be strong. For Harry's sake. Lil opened her eyes when she heard Voldemort coming up the stairs. She took a deep breath and waited. When the door opened, it took all of Lily's courage not to fall to pieces. Voldemort stood before her, cold and sneering, enjoying the pain and sorrow he could see in her eyes.

'Stand aside and I'll let you live.'

'It won't be living without my husband and son.' Lily refused to let the tears in her eyes fall. She had to be strong, for James. It's what he would've done. He would have been strong; he wouldn't have shown this mad man any fear. And neither would she.

'Foolish girl. You need not die tonight.'

'For those I love, I will die.' Lily didn't know where the words came from but imagined that it was James, whispering in her ear.

'Your husband said the same thing,' Voldemort said. He didn't understand this "love" thing. It was meaningless. 'He died, and so will your son.'

'Not Harry! Not Harry! Please — I'll do anything!' Lily forgot about being strong. It didn't matter. All that mattered was her son.

'Stand aside,' Voldemort frowned, confused, when Lily shook her head and stood her ground. 'Stand aside, girl!'

'No.' Lily whispered. _I'm coming, James…_

'Then you leave me no choice.' Voldemort raised his wand and pointed it at Lily.

_Harry…_


	30. Back at Hogwarts

_Nothing else in the world matters…_

_Just Lily and Harry… nothing else in the world matters but protecting them… that's what I have to do… that's my job… nothing else in the world matters… nothing else in the world matters…_

_Am I lying on grass?_

_Lily… Harry… nothing else in the world matters… is that sunshine? Nothing else in the world matters… Lily… Harry…_

_I'm dead._

_Plain and simple._

_I failed them._

_Lily… Harry…_

_I'm sorry._

_There's sunshine…_

James sat up slowly and looked around. He was outside and it was the middle of a beautiful day. The sky was blue and clear; he could birds singing somewhere. He was at Hogwarts.

_What the hell?_

James wasn't quite sure what was going. The last thing he remembered was fighting Voldemort in an effort to give Lily time to get away with Harry. He could remember a flash of green and then sunshine and singing birds. James stood, barely registering his nakedness, and tried to look for someone that he could speak to.

_Where the hell is everyone? Isn't this Heaven?_

It was then that James noticed the robes lying on the floor. James pulled them on and suddenly found himself in the Head's office. James stared at the four founders, one of whom was his ancestor, and found that he couldn't speak. Godric and Helga were both smiling kindly at him, yet their eyes were sad. Ravenclaw was looking at him with something approaching respect and admiration. Slytherin was staring at him coldly. James ignored him completely and concentrated on his ancestor.

'James,' Godric's smile slipped slightly. 'Do you understand what's happening?' James closed his eyes and nodded. The thought better of it and shook his head. 'Very well. You were killed tonight by the wizard calling himself Lord Voldemort,' Godric said the name with disgust and shot a glare at Slytherin. 'You are now here at Hogwarts which acts as an in-between place. A bit like limbo, I suppose. You can either chose to remain here or move on to either Heaven or Hell. The choice is yours.'

" _The choice is yours"… I don't want to go anywhere. Lily… Harry… nothing else in the world matters…_

'I'll wait for Lily.'

'You don't know if she'll elect to stay here.'

'She will. I know she will.' James took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes. 'I'm staying here.'

'As you wish,' Ravenclaw spoke. 'You should know, James, that there are rooms within Hogwarts where you can watch the living.' Ravenclaw smiled for the first time in decades when James' head shot up. 'You can watch anyone who is still living, although you will not be able to communicate with them.'

'But I can watch them. Make sure they're okay?'

'Yes, James, you can.'

'Good. Where's Lily?' James knew instantly from the looks on their faces that they couldn't tell him. 'Never mind. I'll be waiting at the bottom of the staircase for her when she arrives.' James turned towards the door when he was stopped by a hand on his arm.

'James, how do you know she's coming?' Godric asked.

'Simple,' James said. 'Voldemort said that he would only kill her if she stood in his way. That's exactly what she would have done. Lily's dead.' James closed his eyes and felt Godric walk away from him. James stepped onto the staircase and allowed it to carry him down to the corridor outside. When James reached the bottom he leant against the wall and closed his eyes.

_My son… I love you, my son… I'm sorry, my son… I have failed you… I love you…_

…

_James… Harry…_

_Where is James? Harry… I failed you… James… I need you… I can feel the sunshine… Harry… James… birds… am I naked?_

Lily opened her eyes slowly to find that she was lying, naked, in the sunshine. To say that she was confused would be a gross understatement. The last thing Lily remembered was a blinding flash of green light and high pitched laughter. Lily shut her eyes and desperately tried to understand.

_Is this Heaven?_

Lily opened her eyes again and, realising that she was naked, quickly pulled on the robes she found beside her. When Lily looked up she found herself standing in a room facing four people, who she easily recognised to be the four Hogwarts founders. Godric and Helga were both smiling at her, Ravenclaw was indifferent, and Slytherin wasn't even looking at her. Lily stared at them, still not fully understanding, and didn't say a word.

'Lily? Do you know how you ended up here?' Godric asked her softly. Lily heard the high pitched laughter again and nodded. 'Okay, do you understand what's happening?' This time Lily shook her head. 'Hogwarts acts as an in-between place. This is neither Heaven nor Hell. It is where all the witches and wizards who attended Hogwarts come to before making a choice. Your choice is simple, Lily. You can either choose to remain here, where you will be able to keep a watch over those you love who are still alive, or you may choose to move on.'

Lily glanced behind her and saw that all of the portraits of the previous Head masters and mistress of Hogwarts were watching her with sad eyes. Lily took a deep breath and turned back to the founders. 'I can… watch Harry?'

'Yes.' Helga smiled warmly at her.

_James…_

'I'm staying.'

'Very well. You may go.' Ravenclaw motioned to the door behind her and Lily slowly walked over to it and allowed the staircase to carry her down. As the staircase moved Lily closed her eyes and hoped that James was waiting for her. She needed her husband now more than ever. Lily found that she was still a little confused because of how alive she actually felt.

_If this is death, it isn't so bad. Now I just need James…_

'LILY!'

Lily's eyes flew open at the sound of someone screaming her name and then found herself being enveloped in someone's arms. Lily could tell straight away that it was James. No one she knew used that particular brand of after shave. Lily tightened her grip on James and vowed never to leave his side again. James finally let go of her but he kept his hands resting on her shoulders.

'Lily?'

'James… I'm sorry,' Lily sobbed. 'I couldn't leave… I couldn't save our baby… I'm so sorry…' Tears came to Lily's eyes as she remembered what had happened.

'I know, Lily. I don't blame you. I could never blame you. I wasn't able to protect you and… Harry.' James' voice broke on the last word and Lily kissed his cheek.

'You could never have fought him off entirely, James. He was too hell bent on getting to Harry. I don't blame you, love.' Lily smiled for the first time since she had awoken on the grounds of Hogwarts and was pleased when James smiled back at her. 'Now, Godric said something about being able to watch Harry.'

'Yeah, I know,' James frowned. 'Though I don't know where.'

'I'm sure we'll find it.'

Lily and James begin to search the school for the room where they could watch their son grow without them. It took them almost a full day to find it but eventually they found a large room that had never actually existed at Hogwarts. The room was full of Pensieve like devices set into the stone floor. Surrounding each of these were a series of low stone benches for people to sit and watch. Lily and James found a spare one towards the back of the room and sat down. Almost immediately the silvery liquid in the basin began changing colour and they found themselves looking down upon a house in the middle of suburbia. As they continued watching the scene the perspective shifted from looking down on the house to looking at the front door. On the step of the house they could see a small bundled wrapped up in a blanket they recognised. It was their son. The front door of the house opened and Lily surpassed a sigh. There stood Petunia who, upon seeing the bundle, screamed.

'Well, at least he's not homeless.' Lily muttered.

'Yeah, but where's Sirius?' James was beginning to panic. The view of the house vanished to be replaced with a street that looked as though a bomb had gone off. There were bodies strewn everywhere and amongst it all stood Sirius Black. 'You idiot.'

'James, shut up and watch. This is the only way that we're going to be able to see Harry grow up. Not to mention Remus and Sirius. Please, just watch.' Lily rested her head against James' shoulder.

The two of them sat like that for years, watching Harry and their friends. They watched everything that Harry went through. The first time they left the room was to greet Sirius after his death.

James and Lily had started out hating each other. But hate grew into something much more powerful than anything anyone can ever imagine: _Love_. Their love for each other lasted through their lives and beyond, into death, into the great unknown. James and Lily Potter were soul mates; they were destined to be together from the very beginning. And it was their love for each other and their son that saved the world from an incredible terror. James and Lily Potter's love was something that nothing could break or come between. They were soul mates in life and in death.

_The last enemy that shall be destroyed is death…_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading!
> 
> This final chapter leads straight into another story of mine _The Dead Meet_


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